Husbands!!!! Don't get it...Vent!

[Mom of 3]

My husband totally doesn't appreciate what I do! Nor does he understand. He even said the other day. "Your job isn't as hard as mine cause your at home." In more words trying to disguise what he was saying. He wonders why I'm so tired when he gets home and then is in a bad mood when he doesn't get any (you know). I've felt like a lump lately and he is not helping. The more tired I am the less understanding he is
It's like I should be jumping up and down when I see him and direct all my attention to him. He couldn't possibly help me with something.......Argg gggggh

[Inspired by Reggio]

Oh honey total empathy over here!

When I worked in Childcare outside the home my spouse was AWESOME around the house - in fact he did MORE than me to be honest cause I worked a 9 hour day plus hour commute time so he got home first and prepped started dinner and did laundry and stuff ... when I switched to being home suddenly I am expected to be June Cleaver!

Best thing I ever did was get him to cover for a DR appointment for me ...he did less than 2 hours and part of that they were napping ... came home to a house that had explored with mess and he is outside with them sweating like a pig with exhaustion ... got a huge hug and apology for the times he thought I did nothing all day "you make it look so easy I had no idea how hard this is!!"

[Mamma_Mia]

when I switched to being home suddenly I am expected to be June Cleaver!

Haha he's even made the comment of wanting a hot meal ready fo when he gets home - he's a meat, potatoes, veggies & a salad guy.....that week we ate hot dogs, pizza, sandwiches w/ soup....and takeout. I'm one of those..don't tell me to DO something..I wont. He's lucky I didn't make him starve.

[BrightEyes]

Husbands really don't get it......until they experience it themselves

[gcj]

do you have your own kids? I"m thinking not because usually they at least get how "challenging" a couple of hours with 1 or 2 can be and therefore can imagine more kids for 10 hour days. Yikes. How disappointing to be so misunderstood. Really, you can't have your own kids...I just don't understand.
Totally book an appointment at a time when the only solution is to have him cover for you. Even like just the last half hour to close up or something. He'll get it pretty quick.

[Mamma_Mia]

do you have your own kids?

My husband is a great provider for our family and takes care of the outside and repairs but wouldn't know my daughter bath or bed time routine. He's only had to bathe her about 3-4 times and thats with me coming in to finsh her off. If I go shopping (ie Walmart) after 1hr I'm alredy getting a message "where are you..." Yeah. Love him but kids DO NOT change everyone. I'm in it alone. My guy has said the same thing....and it kills me that he thinks I don't "work" yet he can't stay 1hr with his OWN kid without loosing his paitence.

He was home for a few days last month and I asked him to watch the kids for 20min while I went to pick something up. I'm talking about 2 3yr olds and a 5ys old nd he was paniked!! Really?? Those are the EASY ones!!

It's taken a while to build up my thick-skin but I just don't listen or just don't DO IT. When he complains about it being cluttered around the house....I will clean it but will be too TIRED for anything "special for him" for another week. He gets the hint. Help me or get NOTHING! Dummys they are!

[Crayola kiddies]

Well her screen name is "mom of 3". !!!!

[gcj]

right....a little off on my detective work It's late...what can I say.

So, 3?!?! Has he ever been alone with them? I'm sure they drive him crazy...?!? Test his patience? Fight? Bicker? Need something every 40 seconds? How does he not get it?

[Crayola kiddies]

He's a guy !!!! Most of them only think about themselves anyway !

[mimi]

Men are from Mars, Women from Venus. This book has been around for many years and when I first read it I had a few aha moments. It reduced my frustration with my 1st husband by understanding how a man communicates and hears thinks differently, but not enough to not divorce him as I also realized, they really don't change no matter how much we lecture!! BTW, my 2nd hubby is a star, polar opposite of the first so he is a keeper.