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  1. #1
    Shy
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    Husbands!!!! Don't get it...Vent!

    My husband totally doesn't appreciate what I do! Nor does he understand. He even said the other day. "Your job isn't as hard as mine cause your at home." In more words trying to disguise what he was saying. He wonders why I'm so tired when he gets home and then is in a bad mood when he doesn't get any (you know). I've felt like a lump lately and he is not helping. The more tired I am the less understanding he is
    It's like I should be jumping up and down when I see him and direct all my attention to him. He couldn't possibly help me with something.......Argg gggggh

  2. #2
    Euphoric ! Inspired by Reggio's Avatar
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    Oh honey total empathy over here!

    When I worked in Childcare outside the home my spouse was AWESOME around the house - in fact he did MORE than me to be honest cause I worked a 9 hour day plus hour commute time so he got home first and prepped started dinner and did laundry and stuff ... when I switched to being home suddenly I am expected to be June Cleaver!

    Best thing I ever did was get him to cover for a DR appointment for me ...he did less than 2 hours and part of that they were napping ... came home to a house that had explored with mess and he is outside with them sweating like a pig with exhaustion ... got a huge hug and apology for the times he thought I did nothing all day "you make it look so easy I had no idea how hard this is!!"
    Children construct their own intelligence. The adult must provide activities and context, but most of all must be able to listen. Children need proof that adults believe in them. Their three great desires are to be listened to, to understand, and to demonstrate that they are exactly what we expect."
    Loris Malaguzzi

  3. #3
    Starting to feel at home...
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    Husbands really don't get it......until they experience it themselves
    "If we all could see the world through the eyes of a child, we would see the magic in everything!" - Chee Vai Tang

  4. #4
    Outgoing
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    do you have your own kids? I"m thinking not because usually they at least get how "challenging" a couple of hours with 1 or 2 can be and therefore can imagine more kids for 10 hour days. Yikes. How disappointing to be so misunderstood. Really, you can't have your own kids...I just don't understand.
    Totally book an appointment at a time when the only solution is to have him cover for you. Even like just the last half hour to close up or something. He'll get it pretty quick.

  5. #5
    Euphoric !
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    Well her screen name is "mom of 3". !!!!

  6. #6
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    right....a little off on my detective work It's late...what can I say.

    So, 3?!?! Has he ever been alone with them? I'm sure they drive him crazy...?!? Test his patience? Fight? Bicker? Need something every 40 seconds? How does he not get it?

  7. #7
    Euphoric !
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    He's a guy !!!! Most of them only think about themselves anyway !

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  9. #8
    Euphoric ! mimi's Avatar
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    Men are from Mars, Women from Venus. This book has been around for many years and when I first read it I had a few aha moments. It reduced my frustration with my 1st husband by understanding how a man communicates and hears thinks differently, but not enough to not divorce him as I also realized, they really don't change no matter how much we lecture!! BTW, my 2nd hubby is a star, polar opposite of the first so he is a keeper.

  10. #9
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    I have to admit that my husbands gets what we do. He appreciates the sacrifices I made to raise our kids myself and understands the challenges of the daycare...he really does. I would just love it if he could actually think about asking me how my day was. Pretend to care or think past himself and inquire about me..... that'll be the day!

  11. #10
    Euphoric ! Sandbox Sally's Avatar
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    If my husband ever DARED say anything like that to me, I would take off for the weekend and leave the three kids with him alone.

    My husband acknowledges that child rearing is hard. It took a long time before he came to that realization though, and during his learning process, there was a whole lot of nothing ("you know"), and I made sure he knew why.

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