I agree with Playfelt some kids need the distraction to sit and relax ... in centre care we had 'bathroom toys' and 'bathroom books' ... they were ONLY used in the bathroom and the toys were washed with a stronger disinfectant solutions daily and the books were 'board books' that could be wiped down daily.

I personally have not needed to use distractions in a while but I did have a box of 'eye spy' bottles that I had made up for my one group ... had a kid with fissures and poop issues that needed to 'relax' to poop and these helped keep her mind off the pain of pooping and allow it to come ... this way the toys were 'contained' inside the plastic bottle which was easy to clean and they NEVER left the bathroom so once the kids hands were washed after pottying 'contamination' was not an issue anyway.

Ultimately though your house and your rules and if this is a non negotiable area than you need to let the clients know that and that he is having trouble with the 'different rules at daycare and home' than they can decide if they want to follow through at home to help make it easier on little Johnny or if they want him to suck it up and learn that there are two different sets of rules ... I encourage my clients to be consistent too but it is hard to 'enforce' at the end of the day unless it is something you are willing to terminate over sometimes we have to accept that things will not be done at home the same way as they are in group care and the kids just need to 'learn' to manage that.