Getting Parents onboard with Potty training.

[Other Mummy]

So my 2.5 yr old DCB is in the process of potty training. He was going at daycare for me last week. Well..the novelty I guess has worn off. That and I suspect the parents did not "potty train" over the weekend. I'm going to talk to them at pick up tonite.

However, what I want to bring up with them as well, is the fact that DCB will always try to bring in a toy (eg. hot wheels car usually) in the bathroom with him. I do NOT allow toys into the bathroom. I have a basket that sits just inside the bathroom. All toys are dropped in there prior to stepping into bathroom. He pitches a fit at the worst and at the best, whines and refuses to potty if I take the toy. I'm guessing bringing a toy into the bathroom at home is allowed. I'm going to ask them to be onboard with me on this one and not allow toys into their bathroom. Firstly, there is a hygiene factor regardless if it is at home or daycare. But more so at daycare. And truly, how the heck are they going to focus on going potty if they are playing hot wheels cars on the potty seat. Yup. Caught him doing this last week while trying to use the potty. He must have stashed it in his pants.

Do you think that is crossing the line with DCP's? Asking them not to bring toys into their bathroom. I mean it is their house....and I could just insist that it doesn't happen in mine. But...it would be easier if everyone was on the same page. KWIM?

[playfelt]

Nothing wrong with telling them that that is your policy and reminding them that consistency will speed things up. At the same time some kids need a distraction to sit there long enough to actually do something.

You could suggest he bring a car from home to leave in the bathroom for when he is sitting there. One tantrum over it and he loses the privilege.

I have two books about going potty. They get to choose which one they want to look at while they sit on the toilet. I use the insert on the toilet so they are more focused on sitting still than on a potty chair where their feet are on the floor. With the book there is no time left to play with themselves which is why I introduced it for one kid and then others of course had to have the same.

[Wonderwiper]

Totally agree with the no toys thing and play felts idea of his own toy if the parents won't stop this at home. Why do you have to get parents on board? If they won't potty train, why would you? I have it very clearly in my policies that toilet training is the parents job, I will assist!!

[Crayola kiddies]

I too, give the kids a book. I find in the bevinnibg they need a distraction to keep them there long enough to go.

[Inspired by Reggio]

I agree with Playfelt some kids need the distraction to sit and relax ... in centre care we had 'bathroom toys' and 'bathroom books' ... they were ONLY used in the bathroom and the toys were washed with a stronger disinfectant solutions daily and the books were 'board books' that could be wiped down daily.

I personally have not needed to use distractions in a while but I did have a box of 'eye spy' bottles that I had made up for my one group ... had a kid with fissures and poop issues that needed to 'relax' to poop and these helped keep her mind off the pain of pooping and allow it to come ... this way the toys were 'contained' inside the plastic bottle which was easy to clean and they NEVER left the bathroom so once the kids hands were washed after pottying 'contamination' was not an issue anyway.

Ultimately though your house and your rules and if this is a non negotiable area than you need to let the clients know that and that he is having trouble with the 'different rules at daycare and home' than they can decide if they want to follow through at home to help make it easier on little Johnny or if they want him to suck it up and learn that there are two different sets of rules ... I encourage my clients to be consistent too but it is hard to 'enforce' at the end of the day unless it is something you are willing to terminate over sometimes we have to accept that things will not be done at home the same way as they are in group care and the kids just need to 'learn' to manage that.

[Other Mummy]

Playfelt, that's an excellent idea. We use the insert on the toilet as well. And I have noticed the boys tend to um..explore...and pull. ouch...while they are sitting on the potty and waiting to go. I have some board books on using the potty. That will keep little hands busy. Do you wipe down the book after each use?

I actually thought about keeping a toy just for him, but I just have the ick factor about having a car that sits on my counter and only gets played with while DCB is on the potty.

[Inspired by Reggio]

...I actually thought about keeping a toy just for him, but I just have the ick factor about having a car that sits on my counter and only gets played with while DCB is on the potty.

I agree ...IMO a car has too many crevices and crannies for 'ick' to get hidden in and missed in a cleaning ... anything I allow into the bathroom as a 'fidget toy' has to be smooth sided and easy to DUNK/SOAK in a sanitation solution daily ... board books I wipe down at the END of the day cause if I did it after every time the books would fall apart too soon ... the children all wash their hands as the LAST thing they do on the bathroom so if a book has 'ick factor' on it they have cleaned their hands before leaving the bathroom so the ick stays in the bathroom

[apples and bananas]

I totally agree too! No toys in the bathroom.

However, I know parents who encourage toy play in the bathroom. It draws out the length of time they'll sit on the potty and wait to go. IMO I don't think this assists them in training... it's just a matter of fact... oh look, I sat here long enough I pee'd.

I think if it's something that is creating that big of an issue at daycare I would ask the parents to jump on board. This may be one that they think is ok and won't be willing to break at home though.

Make sure you focus on the reason behind it so they understand and buy into it.

All the best! Don't stress out, your job isn't to train the boy, your job is to support the training that's being done by his parent.s

[playfelt]

Playfelt, that's an excellent idea. We use the insert on the toilet as well. And I have noticed the boys tend to um..explore...and pull. ouch...while they are sitting on the potty and waiting to go. I have some board books on using the potty. That will keep little hands busy. Do you wipe down the book after each use?

I actually thought about keeping a toy just for him, but I just have the ick factor about having a car that sits on my counter and only gets played with while DCB is on the potty.

Since I am the one that takes their diaper or pullup off, sits them up on the toilet, etc. they don't touch anything other than the book. I am nearby the whole time and monitoring things going on. The books get no dirtier than any of the other toys - maybe even less since they are used and put up and not all over the floor. Also I usually only have one or two training at a time so mostly it is only one child using it.