Terminating Care

[Inspired by Reggio]

I always try focus not on their child but on the best fit for the group, making decisions that are best for the group and including their child if I feel their needs might be better met somewhere else ... if her behavior is preventing the group from engaging in field trips I would be terminating too ~ field trips are a vital part of my program

So focusing on 'As you knew signing on field trips are a vital part of our program. However Little Sally really seems to find outings most stressful and therefore not enjoyable for the group as a whole ... terminating services can allow you to seek a program where field trips are not a part of the program so that everyone's needs are able to be met and Sally can hopefully find an environment more suitable than to her needs in which to thrive.

You are not necessarily saying that there is anything WRONG with Sally to make them defensive or upset persay just that she has different needs that you feel you cannot accommodate ... some children are shy, some get easily over stimulated and so forth and sometimes it is really truly hard to balance all the varied personalities in one program since we are but one person .... IMO part of being a good provider is recognizing what you CAN and CANNOT change and making the hard choices based on what is best for a child even if that means admitting that our program is not 'ideal' for a specific child ... in those cases I always 'take the blame' so to speak 'I am sorry that I was not able to make this work, I really wish I could have found a way to support and accommodate Sally within the program but I have exhausted all my resources and feel it is in Sally's best interest to admit that it is time to explore other options therefore effective X date I will no longer be able to provide services'.

Another thing I have always found helpful (this was centre care based but it would work in a home too) is to create a behaviour management contract with the client BEFORE reaching the termination state ... putting in writing the behaviours that are posing a challenge, the goals and time line for improvement needed and the agreed upon way this will be handled at home and in program to STOP the behaviour and provide the skills needed for Sally to thrive so to speak and than write in the behaviour management contract it states 'if improvement is not seen by X date than termination will have to be considered' ... this way parents KNOW that the behavior is seriously unacceptable in program and it is not just the provider 'whining' to them at pick up or drop off.

Sadly IME parents often become cognitively dissident to what they are told about their children's behaviour by other adults, teachers and so forth ... aka we THINK we are telling the parent how truly bad it is but what the parent is HEARING in those conversations is being filtered into a downplayed version in their mind because they are not seeing it or what not so can fool themselves into believing it is not as bad as it sounded ... seeing it there in 'writing' is much harder to downplay for them!

This helps for when you finally get to the conversation about 'termination' there is no way they can claim it came out of 'left field' on them cause you've gotten a signed behaviour management improvement contract that states they have been informed ... back to that put it in writing to cover your ass so to speak