Bad start to the day :(

[Mamma_Mia]

Agreed Treeholm ~ stereotypes and generalizations do no one any good at all ... a best match is about so many varied things between client and provider than just if they are a parent or not and how old their children are ... I agree that the fact I have no young children of my own is a selling feature for some who feel that indicates i am in this for the long haul and not just while my own are not in school, that yes I might be more well rested and less likely to take time off work and so forth however I am sure there are just as many others who read that on my website and choose not to contact me cause 'having wee ones' is a must have attraction for them.

I have seen what Serendipity is talking about first hand when I worked in centre care ... RECE peer who are awesome 'providers' in a group setting but their 'parenting' did not reflect the same best practice to say the least ... they are not able to put into practice things like consistent behavior and guidance, consistent expectations around resiliency, empathy and equality between kids that they do naturally with kids who are not theirs as a result the centres they worked at had to move them to alternate rooms so they were not working directly with their own children in a 'work setting' ... that does not mean that ALL RECE in a centre setting should not be able to have their children in their own program because many are and were awesome at balancing both roles ... like anything in life it is a SKILL and one needs to hone it and pay attention to their effectiveness at it.

Another reality is that there are two ways to approach having your own kids in your program specially when you are working from home and determining how daycare children should be treated verses how children in their own 'home' should be treated ... many providers do not think if their children as IN a daycare but rather in their home and therefore they are allowed to do things that the daycare children are not cause well it is their HOME and if they want to go up to their room and be alone so be it, if they want to go up to the kitchen and get food on their own so be it and so forth while there are others whose children are expected to follow all the same rules as the daycare children during mama's working hours cause while it is their home the provider feels she is still working so to speak and it is just easier to have everyone doing same thing including her own children .... IMO these are things that clients seeking care should consider and ASK how the providers own children are integrated into the program that way there is no 'bad experiences' cause you can choose someone whose values you share around these scenarios.

Communication is KEY for both parties for sure specially if you've had a bad experience somewhere so you can head off a second one by asking the right questions and so forth

You're right Reggio - that "If I wanted my child to be in daycare they would go to daycare, they are at home so free to do what they want" mentality.
Personally I find it easier for everyone to follow the same rules and schedule. Yet if my daughter woke up 30min earlier from nap...yes she cn stay with me for mom one-on-one time. It's just how it is...

[Inspired by Reggio]

Agreed Mamma_Mia ... when my stepson was young and I was just opening up he was here on PD, March Break and summer when not in school and so if he he came down into the program he had to follow all the rules of the daycare while I was working and he would help in the program and would have to have 'quiet time' just like the other daycare children even though he was 10 at the time cause that was FAIR and made my life easier cause I did not want to deal with any daycare kids frustrated that he was up and they had to have a nap however once everyone was a sleep and after I had gotten 'my break' we use to use that little bit of time between when the others would wake up to play a card game or connect just the two of us ... that is one of the PERKS of working from home taking advantage of those times when you can do something special with your own kids without it impacting on your work so to speak.

The daycare kids also learned that there were times of the day when he needed 'space' and he would go up out of the program and be alone in his room play video games or what not and that was because this was his home and he was 'old enough' to be on his own ... daycare children have that same privilege but since they do not have a 'room' here if they want space and to be alone they go to the quiet area within the program or depending on their age and trust they have earned they can ask for their cot to come out upstairs and go rest truly 'alone' and i put the monitor on for them and when they are ready they come back to the program ... so it is not like my stepson truly got 'special treatment' from any of my clients perspectives.

[Serendipity]

As a mom I totally understand that concept. Your child needs space or gets up early from nap and gets to go to their rooms or get up and stay up a little earlier than the DCK's but that is from a mom perspective.

Imagine how any of that looks or feels to a daycare child? They don't see the rationality of those things and they surely don't understand it so I can see how that kind of thing would be tough to deal with as a parent hearing all about how "Miss Provider's kids got this and got to do that" but my kid didn't on the ride home from daycare every day.

It's a fine line and one I can see definitely brings in or keeps out a certain group of clients.