Suggestions on how to deal with 3.5yo dcg!

[Dreamalittledream]

Oh and. As for tantrums...depends on the child. With one I used immediate time-out and that seemed to intensify the tantrums...so I tried completely ignoring her (and giving lots of praise to the rest)....to my surprise the tantrums were gone in about a week. I haven't seen one in months.

[monkeymama]

thanks everyone for the suggestions! i slowly started to wean the blanket today....the morning was horrendous and by afternoon she had calmed down a little...this gives me hope we are on the right path! i do admit i am a little biased on this childs behavior...my daughter is only a few months older and i cant imagine her behaving this immaturely.in my mind, this is behavior associated with toddlers not a girl who will be 4 in a few weeks and starting jk in september. i admit this has clouded my judgement and i am working on it. again i appreciate the suggestions and will be pulling out some activities for her in the morning!

[Monday 2 Friday Mama]

I had a dcg who was just terrible when it came to crying and making a huge scene at drop off, and she would fret all morning. No amount of cuddles/distraction/favourite activities worked. What finally worked for me were two things: 1) The Mom had to get really firm with her daughter about the behaviour being unacceptable ("You don't cry at Miss Laura's " "We don't cry at daycare - that's not fair to the other kids, it makes the babies sad")2) I told this child that if she needed to cry she had to go to her bed and lie down. She could cry there if she needed to, but she was NOT going to cry out in the playroom. It took about two weeks of this "hardcore" approach but the child now gives Mum big hugs and kisses goodbye, and she is a model daycare baby.

[loulou]

I could have written your OP. I had the same issues, tantrum at drop-off, tantrums while out on walks, not-listening to me, spitting pinching and biting me, tantrums at any meal, zero efforts made by parents to potty train, and the blanket. I had numerous chats with the parents and always leave a note in her journal.
I told her parents to stop bringing the blanket which was rough for 2 days but then was completely fine. I told her parents if the spitting, biting, and pinching started they would be called to pick her up and she only had 2 warning before termination. The child never did those things again.
The tantrums never stopped. Which was really getting in the way of our outings. I spoke to the parents numerous times before finally deciding to terminate. Sometimes it is just not a good fit and if the parents aren't willing to make some adjustments at home to help their child settle it's not a good fit.
Do you really think the child is thriving and happy in your daycare environment?

[monkeymama]

loulou, she has good and bad days. today has been a somewhat good day. she is a very bright little girl. i had a conversation with her about choosing to have a good/bad day. this blanket thing just gets to me though. ive never seen a child of this age so co-dependent to it and the parents see it but i dont know....september is fast approaching and i fear how this girl will do in kindergarten, all day every day!

[playfelt]

I have a three year old (just turned in Nov) and she still napped with soother and a blanket from home she brings each day. Back in October when it was chilly as in we didnt' have the heat on yet I told her that it was getting too small to keep her warm enough and she needed to use the same fleece blanket as the other girl. She didn't like it but she lived with it. Then after her birthday since we had been doing the when you turn 3 you will be getting ready to go to school in Sept so she gets that part. I just stopped giving her her soother. She just laid there stunned looking at me. No real tears but took her ages to fall asleep and pretty sure she sucked on the sheet for awhile. But I have just stopped giving it and she now doesn't expect it - been three weeks. They still send it from home and she admits to still having it at home but I explained that nap is a short sleep and she doesn't need it and at home for a long sleep well that is different. Have not said anything to the parents about what I did. This is the same child I moved from a playpen due to length and over 30 pounds when she was 2 1/2 and the dad asked me to put her back because he didnt' think she was sleeping soundly enough being with the others. So did for another month then needed the playpen for a summer fill in baby so just took her out and again never said anything. She got a big girl bed for her third birthday so is learning to sleep in a bed now. The other child I have in care has been on a mat since 18 months and in a bed at home since a couple months after that.