Over reacting?

[Inspired by Reggio]

If you 110% sure it is HER on the forum cause she used her own name or some other identifying feature like her kids picture than I would definitely approach this directly head on verses being passive.

Something like 'not sure if you are aware but I am also on X forum and so imagine my surprise when I noticed your screen name with little Sally's photo as your avatar. I just wanted to say 'congratulations' as I had no idea you were planning on opening up your own program at the end of the month ~ that is going to be an awesome opportunity for Sally to be home with you.

So in the interest of being 'open' I will let you know I am putting up my own ads to fill her space since I am assuming the long term goal will be to have her with you and so I just wanted to confirm will X date be your last date as you indicated on the forum you are planning on opening for X date or were you hoping to leave Sally in my program a little longer until you got yourself up and running?'

If there is any doubt it is her than I would approach it passively from the 'hey you do not happen to be a member of the X forum do you?' and wait to see if there is a some horror in her eyes that she as been found out and give her that chance to do the RIGHT thing now that she has been caught?

I agree that honesty is always the best policy ... I have no issue helping out and supporting newbies to the industry and have resouces and links and so forth on my website for those considering it ~ there is a shortage of quality childcare in almost every region across Canada so why not support more people to consider this industry with eyes WIDE OPEN by providing information on what to consider before entering it ... I have even opened my program and allowed someone considering home childcare to spend a few days with me in the program to see the good the bad and the ugly of it to determine if it was something they truly could do ... so there would be no 'need' for anyone to not be open with me because I am very open about support myself .... however even with all the openness I have still had people who contacted me 'faking' being a potential client to try to get information from me and I agree it is in poor taste and when they are a provider themselves and have their HOPES RAISED by someone who is pretending to be a client maybe then they will understand that karma is repaying them for having done the same thing to others!

Treat people better than you want to be treated yourself and imagine the world we would create!

[kidlove]

Thats awsome that you have another family waiting, hopefully you can fill the spot with them and no worries as far as income. I just wish more people would concider putting the shoe on the other foot in our world, you know? things would work out so much better, I would feel the same way you do...nothing against the fact that she wants to stay home with her child and start the daycare or work from home in any capacity to be a better Mom. It's nice to see Mom's try that, however, the part that would upset me is just as you have said, the dishonesty, or lack of communication....jus t would be nice to get a heads up when your income will take a direct hit due to others actions, why can't more people understand that and have more care for others? I would be interested to see how she may respond if you point out what she would do or how she would feel if one of her daycare clients did the same to her? call the new family asap and get something lines up, hope all goes well for you!

[Serendipity]

I would probably respond to her ad. I would tell her you have some toys and things that you are looking to get rid of and then give her your name and address so she can come pick them up.

Wonder if she would show up?

[Inspired by Reggio]

...Wonder if she would show up?

LOL ... another way to let her get scared enough to do the right thing and fess up!

[Momof4]

I am one who always speaks up and asks questions and don't like wondering and worrying and waiting. I have to get it OUT on the table. If this happened to me my ads would be posted today and I would start interviewing and replace them.

But from your desciption of the poor little dirty child, (how horrible) can you picture the dcMom's house? Eeeeew! Do you really think she's responsible enough to care for other people's children if she can't care for her own child? She won't succeed. That's just the plain truth. However, the sad part is that there are people who WILL leave their children with her.

[latte30]

LOL to Serendipity! And Momof4, that was my thought EXACTLY!! Ok...as dcm was putting on her daughters shoes upon pick up tonight, I asked her whether she is planning to take dcg out of daycare. She just looked at me and said yes, she's leaving by the end of the month to stay home and take care of her daughter, and that they have purchased a home and the closing is at the end of this month. I just congratulated her and asked her to have a written notice of leave for me. then She then quickly gathered her things and said thank you, see you tomorrow. Awkward.

[BrightEyes]

LOL That's funny that she seemed so "surprised" hehehe

[Inspired by Reggio]

Well glad it is out in the open ~ just such a shame that she did not feel she could be open about it ... buying a new home and starting a business is such an exciting thing cannot imagine not wanting to share that with others and now the whole tone of the end of your relationship is going to be tainted by that dishonesty when you could have been a mentor and resource for her had she just been open and honest from the start

[kidlove]

So glad you asked her outright, too bad she couldn't have told you outright from the beginning. At least it's out now, and good for you for taking the high road, always a better choice. Now have you called the other family yet?

[latte30]

So true Reggio. I wouldn't have had an issue with giving her further advice/helping hand... although at this point, i'm pretty sure she's gotten more than enough ideas already.
Thanks kidlove! Yes, I sent out an email last night to the other family, and they are coming by tonight with their deposit. All is well again...for now, lol.