Not meaning to stir the pot here as love shown in any kind of way is great, but it makes me kinda laugh that people think that a way love is shown toward them is when their husband changes the oil or shovels the snow and that this is somehow fantastic and all they deserve. Sorry but in my opinion to show love is to show thought. Not in a mundain everyday chore kind of way. I make dinner, clean and basically hold my family together in nearly everyway because it comes with my role as a mother and a wife which were the choices I made when entering this chapter of my life. I care for my family members with love but I don't feel love while doing laundry, making dinner and cleaning the tub, I do them because they are a necessity and I don't have a choice, and I doubt any man changes the oil out of love but because if they didn't it wouldn't get done. It's great and also very important to be appreciated and acknowledged for the roles both husbands and wives play in each others relationships but I do feel that it's important once in a while to show real appreciation for the individual versus the role they play in the family setup. Once again the differences between love and gratitude can mean different things to different people. These are just my opinions.

I get what Reggio is saying and I have actually had this conversation with a few people over the last number of weeks. What we see in the media doesn't exsist.PERIOD. It is dramatised and fantasised which ultimatly sets people up for dissapointment if people try to model their real life on this media BS. It's great for entertainment purposes, but I wonder how many people have arrived home from work to find rose petals strewn all over the floor (always in a perfectly cleaned house too lol), bubble bath in the oversize tub, champagne in fine crystal flutes, and blah blah blah... Really these movie directors have a lot to answer for haha.

I am a needy person in my relationship but don't misinterprate that for someone who is materialistic and can't or won't do anything for themselves. I just need to feel special as an individual, not just as a wife or a mother. It's part of what I need in my relationship and yes with all the media influence I can quite often be left feeling a little flat with my husbands poor efforts. I don't need a bunch of stuff from my husband, however to be made to feel special is something all women and men deserve and all I ask for is something, action or time which has had thought put into it. My husband knows the things I love, my personality and also knows what I dislike, and what will piss me off. I know a lot of women say "MEN!!" to often with a tone in their voices or with acceptance that they are hopeless. I have been married for 10 years and I am under no false presumption that it's all rainbows and butterflies, only that we have to work at it and part of that to me is making an extra effort to make the other person feel special. Doing the dishes for me or tidying up or even shovelling the snow doesn't make me feel special. I appreciate it but I'm not gonna pat him on the back like a child for playing his role in the household.

June was my 30th birthday and my 10 year wedding anniversairy. As my husband is completely hopeless at making a decision when it comes to buying a gift, he knows that I love to eat and I love to walk. He bought different types of cheeses, a bottle of wine and strawberries and took me to Hyde Park in TO for romantic walk and a picnic. The following day he took me to a fancy restaurant as it was a double celebration and both were big and he had flowers ordered and at the table waiting for me. I didn't have anything to unwrap, but he carried out kind gestures that he new I would love and create lasting memories. Last year he bought me a signed copy of a new book I was waiting to be released through a virtual signing. It only cost about $25 and honestly it's the best thing ever and I know he really put thought into it.

For his 40th birthday this year, I arranged a suprise get together with friends. It was a lot of work, but IMO nothing that's worth doing is easy. He was blown away to tears and my hubby is a very private person so even I was taken a back by his suprise and how overwhelmed he was. That was back in October and he is still thanking me for it now.

IME, life get's in the way of these special moments and especially for women, we are not good at putting our needs before others. Work, family, financial commitments and hardships make it very difficult to show a little extra love to our other half. I think as a result, we have to dedicate a little bit of time exclusively to being more creative and resourceful in showing each other love. Happy husband and wife, make better parent's and better members of the world.