Nightime feedings

[apples and bananas]

So,

a parent walks into your home to pick up their 15 month old child and says

"we're thinking about weaning him off of the night time feedings... what do you think?"


What's your answer?

Here's your background. The child is fine with a sippy cup at daycare. Sleeps ok, not nearly long enough for my liking, but is finally going down without crying. Will sleep for a while, then wake crying, then go back to sleep. The child also get's a large bottle of milk before bed.

[Momof4]

I would say, you are the parents and you know what's best for your child. I have a 15 month old boy in care who is still breastfed, but he drinks from a sippy all day long at daycare. What happens at home is not my business unless it affects the child during the day, such as sleep issues, sickness, crankiness, then I might ask if the child is sleeping well. Otherwise, the parents are the boss.

[sunnydays]

I totally agree with Momof4...unless it impacts the child's day, it is the parents decision. I would probably say something like "I think each parent has to decide what works best for them and for their children". There is far too much judgment of parents as it is.

[Judy Trickett]

I would tell her that a 15 mth old should be sleeping through the night. Here's the thing - it DOES start to affect your daycare days. Things like this tell me the parents have NO idea what is developmentally appropriate and therefore they will have other areas where they keep that child a "baby" and that affects YOU during the day.

A 15 mth old still getting night time feedings? Good gravy.......they are setting this kid up to FAIL at self-soothing when he wakes up at night and being able to get himself to sleep.

[Inspired by Reggio]

I agree with Judy - if they ASKED me for advice I would give them my professional opinion based on what I know to be developmentally appropriate ...by that age a child should be getting enough nutrition during the waking hours of the day and learning to sleep solidly through the night - it is a natural part of sleep cycle to wake up in might we ALL do it but it does not mean we are hungry the older we get so the longer they allow the continued waking to be rewarded with food the harder it will be to teach child to self soothe back to sleep during that portion of the sleep cycle each night.

[apples and bananas]

I completely agree and I told her exactly that. Not to mention the issues with oral health... baby bottle mouth... sleep deprived parents. And it does affect the daycare. He does not know how to successfully self sooth. He wakes up during nap and screams like his arms being cut off. The only reason he doesn't do it the entire time anymore is because I don't respond to it.

I told them to pick a weekend and prepare for some sleepless nights... but do it when you are not tempted to give in. He has slept through a few nights lately so it's the perfect time to settle in and get through it!

I was a parent that fed my child a bottle to bed (my first child) and she had horrible issues with her baby teeth. More work then nessasary. I learned my lesson and took a completely different approach to my son and he has perfect teeth! Not an issue at all.

IMO once they can successfully drink from a sippy cup, they no longer need a bottle.

[Crayola kiddies]

I agree if a parent asks an opinion then I give mine. Unless a medical reason no child should have a bottle after one and especially not at night . I had to do the very thing with a few of my kids that you suggested apples .... I picked a weekend and let them cry cause I felt they were waking up at night out if habit and not need.

[daycarewhisperer]

He could have slept through the night without a feeding a year ago. I would respond that he is way way way too old to be eating in the middle of the night. He should be on an eleven/ twelve hour night and put to bed wide awake and not taken out until the next morning. They are doing the feedings for themselves not him.

[Momof4]

I still think all children are different and all parents are different in their beliefs. I had a really overbearing MIL when I was a young Mom and she always made me feel inadequate and sad and I won't ever do that to anybody.

So I give gentle hints to parents even if they ask me for my opinion on something because I don't want to force my way of thinking on them. And I don't want them to hate me the way I hated my MIL for telling them it should be a certain way for anything.

That being said, in your case the parents DID ask your opinion and it IS affecting your daycare so you have a right to help them with advice to hopefully make everything better for everyone.

And daycarewhisperer, if you have 3 month old babies sleeping through the night without a feeding, well that's one for me! My own children didn't sleep through the night until they were over a year old.

[Crayola kiddies]

I have 5 kids and the first one slept through the night at 2 weeks and the second at 6 weeks the third was later but I can't remember exactly when and the fourth was three months and the fifth was a blur ... Can't remember !! My boys were colicky thru the day but slept at night ... And the girls ...Well they just slept . ...I was very lucky with my kids, I was able to get a good nights sleep so that I was recharged for the next day.