DCD making me scratch my head

[daycarewhisperer]

First, you should always trust your gut instinct. Your alarm bells are going off for a reason.

I have had this situation before but with my dc dads and my staff assistants. This is from one of my blogs "The Daycare Home Staff Assistant Part 4Home » The Daycare Home Staff Assistant Part 4



In my eighteen years of doing home care with helpers I have had an instances where one of my day care parents became infatuated with my employee and one where my employee became infatuated with one of my clients. Both situations ended with me loosing the children of these clients.

When an attraction is happening it can be very insidious and difficult to quell. By the time it gets to the point where either the parent or staff make a move to begin a relationship the damage is done and it’s often not reparable. This can happen with both married and unmarried staff and parents. In my situations both the day care parents and both the staff assistants were married. The sum total for me was just loosing daycare kids because of something that had nothing to do with my business."

I have also had a situation where my neighbor who has a driveway a few feet away from my driveway became infatuated with one of my dc Moms. He started by bringing her up in coversations and eventually he figured out her schedule and started magically appearing at the passenger side of his truck when she was loading the baby in her car on the drivers side of her car. He would engage her in coversations where she couldn't politely get away. She was a sweetie so she was really nice to him. That made it worse. I finally had to confront him and we had a war for a couple of weeks. Eventually it all settled down but I knew he wouldn't stop until I put a stop to it.

What this dude is doing is "doing" you. He's got you on his mind and he is working within what IS publicly acceptable and getting his you on within those times. He lives near you so he CAN drive by even though he doesn't need to. You work with his kid so he CAN hang out when he wants. He pays you money so he CAN go thru what you have in common and bring it up to HAVE something to do you with.

Here's the deal... eventually he WILL cross the line. He'll cross the line during something that is just below the line and then take it just above the line. He's doing tester deals now trying to see where your line is.

If you draw the line and decrease his availability to DO you you will most likely loose the kid. Once he knows you are on to him and say no to it he will pull the kid and move his fixation elsewhere.

I can say that every time this attraction thing has happened in my business with the exception of my neighbor who died a few months later... I have lost the kid who we have in common. When my staff assistant became infatuated with a parent I lost the kid and her. When a parent became infatuated with my staff assistant I lost the kid. So be prepared to loose the kid.

You will decide how far you will let him go. One of the biggest advices I can give is don't do joking no's to him. If you start joking around with him about it he will like it. Don't say stuff like "wow if you weren't married and I weren't married I would think you had a crush on me" (not that you would say exactly that but any joking at all about the situation will ENCOURAGE it not discourage it.)

He's playing on your weakness now because he's got you got. He knows you want the money and he wants to "do" you. By saying "do" I don't mean the act... I mean the fixation of you. It's a long game of cat and mouse to do what he's doing over time... The thrill is in the chase... not the apprehension. Once he KNOWS you know his gig and say no to it he will move on with his kid.