2 1/2 year old still on baby food??

[Manue]

So I have a 2 1/2 year old little girl i watch, she is only casual (once or twice a week) ). I dont provide meals (parents are aware of this, it is in our contract) and everytime she comes over and i open her lunch bag all she has in there is 2 jars of baby food, yes baby food. Usually a jar of strawberries and a jar of vegetables (jars say for ages 6 months and up, so the first foods). Sometimes there will be a yogurt or a piece of cheese. She is in my care from 9:15am to 4:30pm. I usually end up giving her some of our food as she is still hungry, i have mentioned this to the mom (who by the way is a nurse) and she just kind of shrugs it off. She also always have a soother in her mouth and her bottle of formula. I dont like to judge as we all have our opinions, but my kids NEVER went past the age of 1 with soothers and bottles, they were also both on complete solids by that time too. I am always so shocked when she comes here, they still treat her like she is an infant

[BrightEyes]

Wow.....

I wonder why? If mom is a nurse she should know better unless there is a medical reason...but she should tell you if there is.

My daughter was off of her soother at 6mths, bottle and formula at 1yr. I will admit I still give my daughter a jar of baby food once in a while but that's because she doesn't always get the nutrients she needs do to a texture issue. But I always give her the finger foods for each food group first or I mix the jar of veggies into her cereal. And def by 2 and a half I would hope she would be off of baby food completely!!!

Have you asked her if there is a reason why she is still on baby food and formula? I would because she really shouldn't be. My doctor advised me to NOT give my daughter formula after 1yr.

[fruitloop]

Wow, that's not enough food for her in a day! No wonder she's still hungry after. I'd have a serious talk with mom and ask her why she is feeding her kid jarred crap. Why not real strawberries and real veggies? At 2.5yrs she should totally 100% be on all table food AND eating it all by herself. That poor kid is starving to death on that amount of food. She should not be on formula and it shouldn't be in a BOTTLE. WTF! This mom sounds like she is having a hard time letting her child be 2.5yrs old. I'd definitely be having a chat about it. That is messed up!

[Momof4]

Unbelievable! It's hard to respond to this. Ok, I had a child start with me this summer who was still on his soother 24/7. Within a few months I had him completely weaned off of it and the Dad talked the Mom into doing the same at home. I think the Mom wanted to keep him her baby. I tried saying things to the Mom like: he'll always be your baby, even when he's grown, etc. I believe it, my children are adults and they are still my babies.

But keeping them stifled and not giving them proper food and nourishment is not right. Babying them is not right because they don't get the gross motor and fine motor skills. Keeping a soother and bottle in their mouths is setting them up for speech impediments and tooth decay. I could go on and on about this, but I think those are the worse problems and you can bring them up to the Mom gently, being helpful. You will be doing it for the little girl and that's part of doing your job. You can try anyway.

[Manue]

I know, its crazy. I did mention it to her mom once and her excuse was "I know but she is my 3rd and my last and my little baby". And im not very good with confrontation so I didnt want to push it
And yes I also give my 2 1/2 year old son those squeezable fruit/veggie in the baby/toddler section but thats WITH alot of other food, i do give him all the fruits and veggies I can but as most toddlers are he is a picky eater, but i always make sure to give him lots so that hopefully one day he will finally eat them lol
And when she comes in with her soother in her mouth and her bottle in the other, i always ask if i can have them and she gives them to me no problem, i put them in her bag and give them to her only for nap time when she asks then they go right back in her bag after nap. She has no problem with not having a bottle or soother here (except for nap of course). Urrrg some parents....

[bright sparks]

Don't mean to hijack but I have an equally crazy story like this...

This makes me think of one of my current day care families. The dcg came to me at 12 months old and didn't eat ANYTHING.... Her mum was sending her with 3 bottles of formula and it took for me to instigate the weaning and also to get rid of the bottles. Her eating took a good 2 months before she would eat anything. I suggested sending familiar foods from home at one point because she wouldn't eat anything. They sent her pizza shredded up WTF!!! So not only was the food she was getting at home junk food but they also fed it to her like a 6-8 month old. In the end I said take the bottles away and consitantly offer her the same food you are eating at meal times with no alternatives if she doesn't eat. Also to have no milk in the day. She is very stubborn and head strong and I know mum and dad were worried that she wasn't eating anything, but until she learned that people weren't going to give in to her then she was never going to get past this.

This girl still wasn't settling. crying, overly sensitive, whiney etc etc So dad picks up one day and comments on how they are struggling to get her to sleep and how she only settles if both parents are in the room. I'm thinking he means both of them put her to bed.NO NO NO.... he went on to say that they both have to get into bed and pretend to be sleeping and then she will go off. I asked if she was in their room and he said yes. This was 2 weeks ago and she is 18 months old now...What the hell..... I told him in no uncertain terms that she needs to be in her own room immediatly as she is having social issues because she is being babied far to much. Of course I said it kindly and worded it in a compassionate way asking them if there was a room that they could set up for her and also that I understand that the bedtime routine may be difficult for the first little while with lots of tears but that it was for her best and also for their best to teach her to self sooth and sleep alone. They did it last weekend and it was a success...phew

I put this down to lack of support in parenting. The mum is constantly asking me for advice and once she brought her child with diaper rash but no cream and when I asked her for some she said don't worry about it she will be fine for the day I put some on this morning OMG....poor kid.

As for your dcm being a nurse, I'd love to know her name(obviously not really but...) so I can avoid receiving care from her in the future. If after 2 kids already she can't have the brains to do whats best developmentally for this child instead of selfishly keeping her a baby as long as possible, God only knows what kind of nurse she is. Ultimatly IMO she is damaging this child and goodness knows what else is going on.

If this was me, I'd change the contract and provide all the food for this child. Even if it was at my cost because somebody needs to have the best interest of the child at heart, and apparently she doesnt. Take charge while she is at your place and ask mum to no longer bring her with a soother and bottle in hand as it's confusing to the other children of a similar age and that you are trying to promote independance.

Good Luck with this task and just focus all your energy on the child as I imagine this parent is a lost cause...

[sunnydays]

While I fully agree that a 2.5 year old should not be eating only baby food and what she is sent for the day is clearly not enough nourishment...I do take issue with the statement that a child should be in his/her own room at some specified point. I don't think it has anything to do with being babied...many people choose to share a room or even a bed with their children. It can be personal values and beliefs or cultural practices...there is nothing wrong with this. Obviously the parents are struggling if they have to lie down and pretend to sleep...but that is for them to work out. Again, I find myself saying, we don't fit all into the same box as parents and as families. Personally, I don't want my children to turn out like many of the individualistic, spoiled, egocentric children that I see in our society...they have no sense of family, no sense of caring for one another...every one is in it for themselves...and personally I see it starting right from day one. each child has their own room, their own toys, their own material goods and they are taught not to share them....that nobody has the right to enter their space, touch their things, etc. I am just trying to show another point of view on why some parents may choose to share a room or bed with their children. Not saying that is why these parents are doing it...but I just hate all the judegment and parents telling other parents how to raise their kids.

Don't mean to hijack but I have an equally crazy story like this...

This makes me think of one of my current day care families. The dcg came to me at 12 months old and didn't eat ANYTHING.... Her mum was sending her with 3 bottles of formula and it took for me to instigate the weaning and also to get rid of the bottles. Her eating took a good 2 months before she would eat anything. I suggested sending familiar foods from home at one point because she wouldn't eat anything. They sent her pizza shredded up WTF!!! So not only was the food she was getting at home junk food but they also fed it to her like a 6-8 month old. In the end I said take the bottles away and consitantly offer her the same food you are eating at meal times with no alternatives if she doesn't eat. Also to have no milk in the day. She is very stubborn and head strong and I know mum and dad were worried that she wasn't eating anything, but until she learned that people weren't going to give in to her then she was never going to get past this.

This girl still wasn't settling. crying, overly sensitive, whiney etc etc So dad picks up one day and comments on how they are struggling to get her to sleep and how she only settles if both parents are in the room. I'm thinking he means both of them put her to bed.NO NO NO.... he went on to say that they both have to get into bed and pretend to be sleeping and then she will go off. I asked if she was in their room and he said yes. This was 2 weeks ago and she is 18 months old now...What the hell..... I told him in no uncertain terms that she needs to be in her own room immediatly as she is having social issues because she is being babied far to much. Of course I said it kindly and worded it in a compassionate way asking them if there was a room that they could set up for her and also that I understand that the bedtime routine may be difficult for the first little while with lots of tears but that it was for her best and also for their best to teach her to self sooth and sleep alone. They did it last weekend and it was a success...phew

I put this down to lack of support in parenting. The mum is constantly asking me for advice and once she brought her child with diaper rash but no cream and when I asked her for some she said don't worry about it she will be fine for the day I put some on this morning OMG....poor kid.

As for your dcm being a nurse, I'd love to know her name(obviously not really but...) so I can avoid receiving care from her in the future. If after 2 kids already she can't have the brains to do whats best developmentally for this child instead of selfishly keeping her a baby as long as possible, God only knows what kind of nurse she is. Ultimatly IMO she is damaging this child and goodness knows what else is going on.

If this was me, I'd change the contract and provide all the food for this child. Even if it was at my cost because somebody needs to have the best interest of the child at heart, and apparently she doesnt. Take charge while she is at your place and ask mum to no longer bring her with a soother and bottle in hand as it's confusing to the other children of a similar age and that you are trying to promote independance.

Good Luck with this task and just focus all your energy on the child as I imagine this parent is a lost cause...

[bright sparks]

While I fully agree that a 2.5 year old should not be eating only baby food and what she is sent for the day is clearly not enough nourishment...I do take issue with the statement that a child should be in his/her own room at some specified point. I don't think it has anything to do with being babied...many people choose to share a room or even a bed with their children. It can be personal values and beliefs or cultural practices...there is nothing wrong with this. Obviously the parents are struggling if they have to lie down and pretend to sleep...but that is for them to work out. Again, I find myself saying, we don't fit all into the same box as parents and as families. Personally, I don't want my children to turn out like many of the individualistic, spoiled, egocentric children that I see in our society...they have no sense of family, no sense of caring for one another...every one is in it for themselves...and personally I see it starting right from day one. each child has their own room, their own toys, their own material goods and they are taught not to share them....that nobody has the right to enter their space, touch their things, etc. I am just trying to show another point of view on why some parents may choose to share a room or bed with their children. Not saying that is why these parents are doing it...but I just hate all the judegment and parents telling other parents how to raise their kids.

Thankyou for your perspective on this. In a forum post it is so hard to give every single tiny bit of information surrounding a subject so its really easy for the poster to miss a vital piece of info out or for the reader to take it the wrong way.

In my way of telling the parents to put their child in their own room, I advised them and I backed it up with information as to way I was advising it. We had a discussion about it and I was kind and considerate of their feelings and parenting style. Obviously in the post the tone shows that I was shocked and gobsmacked of the situation but I was respectful about it and did not order them to move their child or tell them that they were doing anything wrong. Simply that it may be beneficial to transition her into her own room as it was them who expressed their difficulties to me and asked me for advice.

Everyone judges, its a natural human reaction.It's just what you do as a responce to this. I have known the family long enough and know enough of the consistant issues they have through the lack of support, to be able to know why their child is sharing a room with them. I was also very delicate in approaching the subject as I know they have some financial issues and wasn't sure if it was a case of not having a room for their child. I am a very kind and compassionate person, so please don't hate on me for advising parent's who asked me in the first place how they should deal with this. I am all good with people and their choices on how to parent, but if it effects me directly in my daycare because they have a socially delayed child, then hell yes I'm going to speak up. It doesn't make me a hardass. Theres just a way of doing it without stepping over the line, respecting the parents choices while also advocating number one for the childrens needs and best interests. Not in my opinion or experience in parenting but based on facts surrounding child development.

I also have issues with people telling parent's how to parent(believe me I know first hand being a teenage mother to 2 kids), but how many children get screwed up because nobody speaks up for them when a situation becomes detrimental to their very wellbeing?? I may not make a difference immediatly or get brownie points for speaking up, but maybe it will make the parent's think a little differently about what they are doing and make better judgement calls. And of course, maybe it wont.

[Cadillac]

I have a new litle girl (almost two) who is still on baby food. The reason is because mom says she has a terrible gag reflex and also because she simply refuses to eat solid food.

Part of the reason she was sent to my care was to help teach her about solid food (mom and dad give in I suppose).

I feel it's a texture thing with her. Some kids are EXTREMELY sensitive to it.

You sohlud tell mom that you need the reason behind the baby food. She should tell you. Dont let her shrug her shoulders. You'll end up feeding this kid forever and mom will probably be ok with it.

Maybe the kid just loves babyfood but mom needs to know that her child needs more food to be full

[bright sparks]

I have had a few kids with bad gag reflexs but the longer you leave it the harder it will be for them to get over it. Plus you have the added problem of the strong will of a child at this age which makes weaning 10x harder.