I need a push !

[Lou]

Wow, this child sounds just like a child I took care of in my 'Centre Care' days. She always came in wreaking of cat pee and smoke...her hair was knotty and greasy...and since she had many toilet accidents we asked Mom to send in more extra pairs of underwear and get this: she sent in her back pack a pair of XXL woman's underwear, unwashed, with feces still in it. It was beyond disgusting and CAS was called on numerous occasions.
Has it reached a point of being THAT unsanitary for this child? Do you believe he is living in unsafe/unclean condition? It might be something to consider.
And yes, the reason you are not terminating them is because you feel for the child...it's not his fault that his parents are losers, and I don't blame you a bit for feeling a sense of revulsion. It's gross, no doubt about it.
Definitely, address his state of hygiene upon arrival today...perhaps send a note reminding them to please be sure that _____arrives clean, with clean clothes on a daily basis for sanitary reasons. This will be their warning...give thema chance to turn it around immediately or show them the door and call CAS.

[crafty]

Wow, this child sounds just like a child I took care of in my 'Centre Care' days. She always came in wreaking of cat pee and smoke...her hair was knotty and greasy...and since she had many toilet accidents we asked Mom to send in more extra pairs of underwear and get this: she sent in her back pack a pair of XXL woman's underwear, unwashed, with feces still in it. It was beyond disgusting and CAS was called on numerous occasions.
Has it reached a point of being THAT unsanitary for this child? Do you believe he is living in unsafe/unclean condition? It might be something to consider.
And yes, the reason you are not terminating them is because you feel for the child...it's not his fault that his parents are losers, and I don't blame you a bit for feeling a sense of revulsion. It's gross, no doubt about it.
Definitely, address his state of hygiene upon arrival today...perhaps send a note reminding them to please be sure that _____arrives clean, with clean clothes on a daily basis for sanitary reasons. This will be their warning...give thema chance to turn it around immediately or show them the door and call CAS.

Well I don,t think at this point it's CAS issue really... I think it's their way. The parents are young and don,t know any better. They also have a low income which makes things difficult for them. I don't doubt the child is cared for at home but the parents could be overweahled beeing so young with all these responsabilities. The mom spends the week mostly by hersef with the child. All grand parents are too far to help over the week. One thing I am sure of they certainly don't know about good nutrition or maybe don't really value it. The hygiene issue I think could be due to a lack of organisation and knowledge. I don't think it's to a point of abuse or neglectfull to a point that I worry about the child's safety but it's not healthy and is disgusting. It's hard for me to explain in english terms but I think the word is clueless... it's just no worries and clueless. If all the things that has happened with this child would have happened to my child I would have been purple with embarassement.... But not them.

Urgh ! It"s that my feelings for these people are becoming negative and I HATE that and I also feel guilty about it.

Thanks for all your comments...they are helpfull and I will sit down and really try to find the reason why ...as Valerie suggested. I think this will help .

[torontokids]

Hey Crafty,

I am new here but I read your post and I wonder if your concerns around termination might be connected with your desire to be able to monitor the situation and ensure the safety of the child? Or perhaps you are the one stable/organized thing for this child right now?

Unfortunately you have an obligation to report the neglect as a child care provider. It isn't our job to decide whether or not the neglect is a "safety concern" but for the CAS to investigate and figure things out. Maybe they are just overwhelmed but there is still support out there for them. I have had families in the past as a result of CAS involvement get connected to all sorts of programs, subsidies, camps etc just for having gone through the intake. The CAS isn't in the business of "snatching" kids anymore as is their reputation but they have changed their mandate to help keep families together by offering support to prevent that breakdown. They may hate you for it (they will be scared to get the call from CAS of course)but that shouldn't be your concern. I wonder, if they are sending the child to your program with dried feces (this is what they are showing you) what is happening at home?

Here's some info for you re: reporting neglect, abuse etc.

http://www.children.gov.on.ca/htdocs...andneglect.pdf

I don't know how old the child is but it is our job to speak up for children as they can't speak for themselves.

You can always call intake and do a "consult" where you share your concerns anonymously and they will let you know if a formal report needs to be made or if they will just encourage you to continue offering support for this family. If you are considering terminating the family then who knows what will happen to this child with no one looking out for them.