Should I let this family go?

[lilac]

I've only been doing daycare for about 2.5 years, but I have found that it did take me a while to warm up to most of the parents, espeically in the begining, I was constantly worried they didnt think I was taking good care of their kids or that their kids werent happy, little comments I'd always get concerned about. One mom called me after 2 weeks of care, her daughter had pink eye, where could she have gotten pink eye from, was I allowing daycare kids to come to my daycare with pink eye? etc... my nose was really out of joint with that, but if I had terminated based on that, I'd be missing out, they have turned out to be one of my favorite families! I'll bet it goes the same was as a parent, it takes them a bit to get comfortable with us especically if its their first in daycare hence the awkward comments.
I too have witnessed the massive change in personalities of some of the kids the second their parents open the door. Quite amazing to watch if you ask me!! Good as gold all day long, but miserable, cranky, rude, and uncooperative as soon as mom walks through the door... all for attention....

[playfelt]

What about asking the parents to supply an extra bottle of milk that you can give to the child. Many of my parents have a cup of juice in the car for the child and many have a snack the child gets for the ride home - even those that live only a few blocks away. Child has come to expect it and will ask for it even while dressing to go home like I didn't feed them all day as if they will fade into oblivion if they don't "finally" get some more food. It just makes me laugh most days and parents don't seem to question my meals. I will sometimes if a child is being over dramatic make a comment mentioning how recent snack was. The key here is if the child is to have an "extra" snack it needs to be provided by the parent because they have received the meal and two snacks they paid for. I think the rudest one is when the parent would ask me to fill a bottle or cup for the trip home cause the kid is hungry. That is where the juice in the car comes from. If I fill the bottle it is with water to combat thirst as that is more often the need since we were just playing.

[mom-in-alberta]

You know, after hearing all the other stuff that this set of parents have said to you; I honestly don't know if it is a family that I would work with!
Can the child come for a half day on stats? Seriously? Would YOU go into work that day for a half day? Your boss IS paying you, you know!
I always get really nervous when it is all about the money to mom and dad. I understand that childcare can seem like a big expense. But: a) that is the choice YOU are making by returning to work on a full time basis. Many other families work out other scenarios if they don't want to have that cost. b) When you factor for expenses, etc, we providers DON'T make THAT much money at the end of the day. I don't think I know of any 6-figure earning home daycare providers!
As for them not having any other child care.... tough. That is, again, their issue to deal with. Not yours! Don't let them play on your sympathies to get away with something for nothing. I always tell my parents to have back up care in place. I know it's extreme, but what if I got in a car accident or something? They would have to figure something out, right? May as well do that now. You never know what will happen. And the reality is; I get sick sometimes, and I deserve days off sometimes, and so on. The more pregnant I get, the more I am going to stress to my families that I will work until a certain date, but PLEASE have a backup plan, just in case!!
As for you being so lucky to "stay at home all day".... there is not much we can do to make these kind of people see how not easy some days can be at this career. If they think it's so easy, why aren't they doing it? Sigh. That is why I so value the parents that do take it seriously!!

[foxybrown]

I definitely say follow your instincts. Being pregnant is such an important time and added stress is definitely not necessary. Do you have an probationary period? I have one of those in my contracts, and it protects against this stuff specifically...Good luck!

[carma1780]

I think before terminating care a conversation should take place to decipher what the father's meaning and intent behind that statement was. I have 2 boys that come to my home and the older one, who is 4, started having anxiety about coming. His parents (who are great) talked to him about it and discovered that he was hungry at my house (I feed 2 good, scheduled snacks and lunch daily but more if the kids are hungry). This little guy had never once told me he was feeling hungry so I was surprised, told his dad what I feed the kids and talked to the boy about letting me know how he is feeling. Problem solved. Now he lets me know what he needs and what he's worried about and all is good. The point I'm trying to make is that you need to establish good, solid lines of communication between you and the parents. You all want what is best for the kids in your care, some people just aren't as eloquent or tactful as others. I appreciated that mine came to me with the issue instead of making assumptions about my quality of care and putting the boys elsewhere. That all being said, be aware of what your guts are saying when you broach the subject and/or keep a daily log of what you are feeding and portions so it cannot be called into question again.

[Skysue]

I need some advice regarding some parents that I don't really like and don't want to care for their child anymore...I don't know if I am being unreasonable or letting this get to me too much. I just started caring for their son last week part-time. Today the dad picks up his son and says that he noticed that since he's been coming to my home his son gets home starving and is super hungry. I took that to mean he is saying I'm not feeding his son enough. The thing is, I don't know why he would say that. His son is 9 months old and I KNOW I feed him enough. He eats, breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, and then goes home. By the time he is ready to go home it is close to supper time so wouldn't he be getting hungry anyways? I know my daughter is hungry at supper time. This was his first full day and really bothered me. I did not have a good feeling about them or like them to begin with, but needed to fill this spot. So I don't know what to do. I want the daycare up and running by early July so if I did let them go I might be able to find someone else by then...am I just letting this get to me too much??? I like their son, he is super cute and a good child. To add to all this, I just recently found out I am pregnant. I am planning on taking 2-4 weeks off. These parents had a problem with me having 12 days a year off unpaid so I am hoping that when I tell them I am pregnant they will want to leave on their own.
Thanks to anyone who reads this and has advice!

Hi Marie,

WTF just curious but are they not sending food for there 9 month old? Parents should supply food until there little ones have enough teeth to eat a proper daycare meal. That is what I did for my daughter in daycare. She didn't get teeth until one and had a full mouth by 18 months, my daycare provider suggested I let her feed her when she was 2 due to the fact she was eating her food and not mune! LOL

Sorry I'm not saying your not feeding there child the right food but as a Mother I would be making the meals for my 9 month old so I know what they are eating.

I have been watching a little guy since he was 10 months and his mother sent food until he was 13 months and I now provide all his meals, but the choking factor can be scary if they can't chew!

I have a Mom who makes those comments to me as well and I just ignore her. I know 100% her daughter eats healthier when she is in my care. when she is with me she always has a healthy BM but after every weekend her BM's are always rock solid and I know this is from drinking way too much milk! I wish some parents would understand that milk is not a meal replacement.