More about the Holiidays

[Big Hearts]

Im to sure what to think...my aunt how has run a daycare for 20 years is telling me I should be upset as it showes no respect to me but I dont give the kids and families gifts just to get back i do it because i want to. Should i be offended if the holidays come and go and nothing? Would any of you take is a disrespectful?

[Monday 2 Friday Mama]

I don't think disrespectful is the right word to describe a parent who fails to offer a small gift, however I do find it hurtfull that so many parents now seem to do absolutely nothing for their caregivers. I've been doing home daycare for a couple of years now, and I have one client who is a total doll. She writes me thank you cards for any gifts that I buy for her daughter over the year (in addition to Christmas gifts I usually throw the little ones a birthday party with cake, helium balloons and a gift) and I treasure these - praise is truly worth it's weight in gold. She also gives me a generous gift at Christmas - I've been given a gift card to a lovely restaurant, and this year she gave me a gift card to a spa. So incrediably nice. Totally above and beyond what I would hope for. That said, while I don't "expect" gifts, I do wish that parents would make a modest effort and present a token gift - the grocery stores are filled with lovely plants and flowers - most under the 10 dollar range - and it would cost almost nothing to buy a card and put a few thoughtful words of praise in it. I have never received a gift from anyone (client or otherwise) and thought "oh gosh - that's too small/not grand enough for me" but to just collect their child's gift from me, and my card wishing their family well without even attempting to reciprocate seems very insensitive. (IMO) And as for the excuse of not knowing that you're supposed to thank your caregiver, my response goes something like this: if Hallmark has ornaments designed for caregivers, and TV shows discuss gifting etiquette for caregivers in the same segment that they discuss gifting protocol for your child's bus driver, your hair stylist, and your child's teacher - then you must be trying really hard to not know about this particular social norm !