Need to vent... Parents mad that I took 2 sick days this month

[Manue]

So this has been a bad month for sickness! Of course i clean/disinfect as much as i can but no matter what i do i work with kids and most of the time its them who bring it in and we all get sick. The first week of Dec i got strepped throat and had fever for 5 days, i only closed ONE day. Then this week both my kids got ear infections so i closed on wednesday so they can get some rest in a QUIET house.... Normally when my kids wake up with runny nose, slight fever, or anything like that i will call the parents and let them know what my kids symptoms are and its up to them if they still want to bring their kids as i do stay open.
Now this family I watch is ALWAYS lake picking up their child, usually 10-15 min late (after i close) so i sit at the front with their daughter and wait and NEVER say anything. I have always worked with them to make things easier for them. The dad has forgotten her lunch many times and i have always said it was ok i would give her something and have NEVER charged them for this. They always pay a day or 2 late, i have bills to pay too and those cant be late. Anyway i always go out of my way for this family and have never charged them late fee (pick up and payment) or for meals. The parents live with the fathers parents so there are 4 adults in their house. My contract states that if i have to close for ilnesses or emergency I am NOT responsible for finding alternate care as I dont have a sub, and they will get a credit for that day on their next payment. Now i have only had to close twice since they started in September. When I called on wednesday to let the mom know i had to close she kept telling me she was at risk of loosing her job over this, i apologized but i had to, then she asked if she could bring her another day and i said sure no problem so she came yesterday instead. When the dad picks up the little girl last night, of course late as usuall, he gives me a 10 min lecture on how this isnt ok, that because of me the wife was at risk of loosing her job, telling me if this happens again they will have to pull her out. That i wasnt thinking of them and how inconvenient this was. I explained to him that I am a mom and I also have to think of my kids and myself and that from the very beginning i told them if i had to close I didnt have anyone to take over, as everyone I know works mon to friday during the day. I tried to be sympathetic and listen but he just kept on, I was in shock and didnt know what else to do. What do THEY do when they are sick or their child is sick and they have to stay home?? They call in sick, and do they find a replacement?? NO. Plus there are 4 adults in the house, I am sure someone else can stay with the child. I cant believe they were blaming ME for the wifes job being at risk because I closed 2 days!!!! I was devastated...
What do YOU guys do when you or your child is sick and have to close?? I mean this IS our home too...

[Manue]

Oh and he called me a "babysitter" over and over I dont think Im just a babysitter...

[gcj]

First of all, I'd try charging a late fee....if you don't like working late, don't LET them make you.

And if you're sick, you're sick, right? Sucks, but I'm sure any logical person can get that. Even if you had a replacement, it's in their child's best interest to not be in that environment...

They sound disrepectful and maybe should be replaced. They're not living up to their end of things....

My mom often calls what I do babysitting. Sometimes I think it's the only word they know. I've never called my mom on it, since she used to "babysit"....

[Manue]

Thanx gcj, I just advertized for the spot. But to makes matters worse I just had my 2 part time kids (they are brothers) mother give me notice because they will be moving at the end of January So i have to fill up 2 full time spots and 1 part time spots. All this a couple of days before Christmas... Needless to say I am not having a very good week!!

[Inspired by Reggio]

Manue ... I am so sorry that you have a client who is giving you such disrespectful treatment ~ my advice is to CALL them on it and do not tolerate it!

Reality is that while there are so many awesome PROS to choosing home childcare this is the one and only CON when we close the CLIENTS have to have a PLAN for back up arrangements .... if they have a job that is not flexible, if they have no family supports or other people to draw on then my advice to them is that they seek CENTRE CARE where care is available basically 5 days a week 52 weeks a year regardless of staff illness or vacation with exception of Stat holiday closures because THAT is the level of care they obviously need if taking two sick days is going to cause them to 'loose their job'!

When I interview prospective clients a very large portion of the interview questions and conversation is around this CON of home childcare and do they have supports in place for my PLANNED ONES because I am closed for 10 stats, 10 vacation days and do they have BACK UP for a minimum of 10 unplanned sick/emergency day ones either in ample sick days and vacation of their own or support from family and so forth and if a client DID NOT than I honestly would not sign them on because I do not do GUILT TRIPS when I am sick or have a family emergency to deal with ... I have actually told prospective clients that 'if I have to call in sick or have a family emergency I am well aware it is 'inconvenient' to clients and it takes a lot for me to choose to close in the first place so in that moment when I call in the last thing I need to HEAR is unsupportive comments about how the timing sucks or what not and if I DO hear unsupportive comments it will be the last 'closure' they will have to worry about because our arrangement will be over. I worked in centre care too many years for bosses who were ASSES about calling in sick and would have staff in the centre puking in the bathroom or coughing up a lung or in dire pain while trying to care for a room full of 24 children barely 'there' because management was to self absorbed to come into ratio to allow staff to go home ~ not dealing with that in my own home!

Sometimes I think we need to be professional and assertive about what our expectations for treatment are because some people in society treat providers like a 'slave' for lack of a better phrase like we have no rights and should just be grateful when they pay us ... and basically we need to stand up and 'demand' to be treated in the manner we think we deserve ... personally any man who treated me like you are sharing here would be DONE in my program that day ... it is rude and disrespectful ... their termination notice would come with care if terminated effective TODAY and here are some 'centre contacts' for them to consider as better able to suit their needs!

Life is too short not to wake up every morning being passionate about what you do and no amount of money is worth being treated like a door mat!

[Momof4]

Three different issues here:

You have a right to close your daycare with notice when you are sick and parents are always supposed to have a backup plan. We are human! It isn't like you are trying to charge them money for it and I bet the parents have sick days at work. If they already used up all their sick and vacation days for the year then that was bad planning on their part, wasn't it?

Secondly, YES, start charging a late fee every single time and never let people walk all over you like that.

Third, a lecture from a parent? If that happened to me I think I would absolutely terminate on the spot and rework my budget after the fact, money be damned! NOBODY should be talking to you like that! That's horrible! I'm shaking I'm so angry for you right now!

[Manue]

Thank you for all the support, I was in tears about it all of yesterday and it is still weighing heavily on my mind. I am so bad with confrontations, its like all of a sudden I loose my brain and cant say much more then sorry I was sick, then I spend all night thinking about what i should of said and done. Saw the dad in the morning but there were other parents around so i took the child and said goodbye,it was very awkward and I shouldnt feel that way around a parent. The mom picked her up and she acted like nothing was wrong (maybe he didnt tell her??? Or she thought it was ok??) Anyway i couldnt talk to her about it as there was another parent around picking up her children. I was to write her and let her know how hurt i was and that if they were not happy with my service that i will miss their child dearly but i feel disrespected and that i will probably have to take another sick day in the future. My husband tells me I should wait until the holidays are over and talk to them when i see them next on the 2nd (as I am closed from today until then). Do I write or not??

[Inspired by Reggio]

Personally I would try to let it go for now and focus on enjoying your holiday and family - if it helps to write it all out NOW to give yourself and outlet but than had it to them for the New Year and deal with it and their reaction than!

[Momof4]

Thank you for all the support, I was in tears about it all of yesterday and it is still weighing heavily on my mind. I am so bad with confrontations, its like all of a sudden I loose my brain and cant say much more then sorry I was sick, then I spend all night thinking about what i should of said and done. Saw the dad in the morning but there were other parents around so i took the child and said goodbye,it was very awkward and I shouldnt feel that way around a parent. The mom picked her up and she acted like nothing was wrong (maybe he didnt tell her??? Or she thought it was ok??) Anyway i couldnt talk to her about it as there was another parent around picking up her children. I was to write her and let her know how hurt i was and that if they were not happy with my service that i will miss their child dearly but i feel disrespected and that i will probably have to take another sick day in the future. My husband tells me I should wait until the holidays are over and talk to them when i see them next on the 2nd (as I am closed from today until then). Do I write or not??

I'm sorry, but I would DEFINITELY write a warning letter and give it to them the next time I see them. I understand exactly what you are saying. When I'm really mad at someone I can't forget it or let it go or sleep and that's not healthy. So I tell people when I'm mad and work it out OR NOT, I'm honest and open, I don't have a phony bone in my body and what I feel and think shows on my face. If I can't work it out with people then I cut them out of my life. It's important to know when it's time to do that.

This is BUSINESS. This is not our heart or feelings, it's strictly BUSINESS. Don't ever forget that and learn from this experience. I've been there and done that and learned the hard way so I can tell you that we have to separate our hearts and our brains completely. It's difficult, but the way I look at it is that the children get my heart and the parents get my brain!

Anyway, I think you should write a letter outlining exactly what must be followed according to your contract, late fees must be paid even if they are ONE MINUTE LATE, NO ABUSIVE LANGUAGE TOWARD YOU WILL BE TOLERATED, PERIOD!

Please advertise, interview, find a replacement for these people. If you really think they deserve one more chance then tell them honestly that they only have one more chance in the letter of warning. When we demand respect we GET respect. But in the meantime let this family know that you have options, you have a waiting list, you do not need them as much as they need you because you are providing them with an excellent service.

[apples and bananas]

The amount of the adults in the house is really none of your concern as to assuming they have extra care when you are sick.

If a parent tried to give me a lecture on closing I would kindly let them know that this is my business and it is my descretion when to open and close based on the best interest of the kids in your care. If they are not happy with your policies they are welcome to find somewhere else to take their child. I would tell them that they are not welcome to come into my home and lecture me on sick days. I work for me, not them and if they are confused about that set up there is the door.

In regards to the late pick ups, no lunch etc. If you let things go like this then you are looked at as an employee and not the employer. You have set yourself up to be stepped on and talked down to. Review your policies with them and don't waiver a minute! Enforce a late fee for pick ups and for payment.

Oh... and post for a new client because you will not hang on to these people much longer... and you don't want them much longer either.