It happened to me again :(

[Serendipity]

exactly why I created this post....it was just a bummer

Thank you. This is EXACTLY what I am talking about. WHY do you feel they have to give you anything? Why do providers feel that appreciation in the form of cards or gifts are something we have the right to expect?

Why is is so important to you (individually) that parents express their appreciation for your services by doing anything other than being respectful of your rules and policies?

That expectation is what is at the root of this "problem". When other providers start posting about their gifts and cards...they are basically saying "Look what I got from my parents...what did yours get you?" and then you automatically feel like you aren't appreicated or cared about if you didn't get anything....kwim?

It shouldn't be about the gifts, the money or the cards of appreciation. It should be about the respectful, professional relationship between a client and a service provider. You charge a fee for your services, set rules and boundaries for your home and business and clients pay in a timely manner and respect and follow your rules and policies. They stay long term and SHOW you how much they value your services and what you do for their children.

NO where in that formula is there a written rule or expectation that the agreement between the two you includes a card or a gift.

Did you give any of your clients a gift thanking them for their services? (I don't mean DCK's or the gifts you helped the DCK's make for their parents.)

Bottom line is Christmas to me isn't about getting anything. It is about celebrating the birth of Jesus and I think waaaaay too much time and energy is spent on pissing matches about who got what and why.

I am sorry you feel unappreciated by your parents and that none of them gave you a card or a gift. I can't change that for you but what I was doing was trying to help you see it from a different perspective so that you can avoid the hurt feelings next year. I am sure your parents all appreciate what you do for their children and for the services you provide....if they didn't they wouldn't be in your program. Hoping you have a great holiday and a wonderful New Year!

[Momof4]

This thread has taken a strange turn. I see what you are saying Serendipity and I hate the liars and phoneys as much as the next woman, but I think Mimi is on the level and being honest.

I agree that it means the world to me that my clients are absolutely wonderful people and appreciate me all year long. I speak to them honestly and on a daily basis to tackle ongoing issues with their children, but I'm really careful about the clients I sign on now that I've learned enough lessons to weed out the 'red flag' people. There is definitely a learning curve to choosing the best clients who will work with you, not against you.

Admittedly, I post a few personal issues I'm having with my clients on this site and it's possible they could see themselves in my posts. However, I'm not relating anything on here that the parents don't know about already and I don't say anything bad about them, just the facts. Other people might not feel that it is appropriate to do that on a public forum.

However, I want to educate other providers and parents who may be reading this site and thinking about daycare or having a problem with their provider. If we relate our stories honestly we are helping each other in the business and if we help parents realize that we are all doing is what their caregiver is doing then they know it's normal standards across the board. It's good if we all have similar policies.

Everyone has a right to their opinion! Now I have to admit that 4 out of 5 of my clients ended up giving me a Christmas gift and they are all paying me for the eleven days off that I'm in the middle of right now. I feel very blessed but the cards they gave me with the words of appreciation and thanks are the best part and I keep them all in a special box. THIS is why it isn't fair to the providers who haven't received any gifts or cards or appreciation. I'm happy for everyone who is treated well all year long. If you aren't - find clients who WILL treat you well. They are out there!

[mimi]

Serendipity, I am glad you have the ability to tell what providers think but are not saying. I stand behind what I have said and will not try to sway you from your negative stance. All the best to you in the New Year.

[Serendipity]

Serendipity, I am glad you have the ability to tell what providers think but are not saying. I stand behind what I have said and will not try to sway you from your negative stance. All the best to you in the New Year.

Thanks for the insinuation but I am NOT clairvoyant. I am simply stating what I "see" other providers posting about on other forums. There are several and a few of them actually have threads more or less laughing at the fakeness of some of the providers boasting about their gifts.

So I am sorry but I cannot read other providers minds....only their words.

You keep saying you stand behind what you said but haven't elaborated. So deflect and detour by calling me negative. How is asking you to explain your words being negative?

Oh, and yeah we all like to be appreciated and even though I feel it is boasting or bragging and sometimes even completely untrue...I still do not understand at all how it can be informative for others.

My response about some of the gifts being BS was to the poster of this thread.
.....You know the thread completely started because the provider didn't get any gifts or thank you's from her daycare parents.......then only a couple posts in someone actually suggested making parents feel guilted into gift giving by posting thank you's publically

...which to me is shaming the parents who didn't gift someone they already pay for services.

I mean if getting a cash bonus or gift at Christmas time is something a provider HAS to have to feel appreciated, then why not just add it into your contract each year. Tell each parent what to get you and how much to spend. That would be just as shallow and childish as complaining/venting about not getting a gift or bragging/boasting about the gifts you did get.

Get real. You can pretend that it isn't about the money or the presents all you want. This whole concept about providers even expecting gifts or cash bonuses is rediculously shallow and negative IMHO. But that's ok, you can call me negative all you want. I didn't start a thread bragging or complaining about gifts I got or didn't get from clients.

FWIW~ I didn't take this thread to a whole new level....I posted my opinion..... someone got their panties in a bunch because of it (because it hit home or who knows why) and now here we are.

[daycarewhisperer]

IMy take on this issue is very different. I think child care providers should be compensated with year end bonuses comensurate with the years they have worked for the client. One weeks pay for a full year of service and two weeks of pay for service over five years. I think it should be in cash and it should be concomittant with at least a week of paid vacation plus the holidays at the end of the year and new years.

If the parent can't come up with a week salary at years end they should offer two to three dollars per week in addition to the salary to build in a bonus so by years end the provider has her paid week.

Providers claim they treasure the family pictures, brownies, and regifts but the truth be told MOST providers want CASH as an acknowledgement of their hard work. Not gift cards or spa days... cold hard CASH and paid time off so they can reboot.

I'm glad I live in a culture where providers are recognized by cash and time off at the end of the year. It makes a huge difference to my bottom line every year. I get two weeks paid off and a week of salary at the least and some years two. My staff assistant also receives equivallent to a week of pay or two depending on how many years she has worked here. Last year my helper was here for three years and received a weeks pay from the parents and two weeks paid off by me plus a xmas bonus from me.

The monies I receive are not compensation for poor behavior during the year. My clients are respectful of my policies and treat me with respect. You don't ever see me online complaining about them. They are good salt of the earth parents who work hard and recognize hard work. I would be crushed if the holidays came and went and they didn't take care of me financially. That's just me but I would be disapointed and hurt.

I do an amazing job all year long. I haven't called off of work in nineteen years. I only get 18 paid days per year in my contract so further compensation is in paid days off and year end bonus.

[daycarewhisperer]

Ok I would like to get one thing straight here......

I posted about my gifts because I FINALLY FELT happy and at peace with my year. It finally clicked for me that I am in the daycare business for the right reasons and that these daycare cliients do value me. But regardless of what I would have got,or not the year for me ended on a wonderful note, and I wanted to share my happiness with you all...Because I know that most of you like it better when your peers have something great to post.

I did not post out of a sense of "neener neener neener lookit me....."

It is important for me to share my victories and sarrows.

AND FRANKLY I WANTED TO SHARE MY VICTORY!!!!

As for the mom who didn't gift, whatever..didn't make or break my world. My goal is to make her ds happy, and he is, so that is my gift.

I thik it's wonderful that your parents came through. There ARE good clients out there that follow poliicies, pay their bills, and give woppin bonuses at years end. It's good to be grateful and to celebrate when it all comes together. The extra money is so needed at this time of year and it feels dang good to be celebrated in this job where we give so much thoughout the year.

[Momof4]

WTH? I'm not a charity, I'm a business! I don't have a donations pot at the door! That's insane! I raised my rates $2/week this year since I haven't raised them in a few years. Parents should have receipts for every dollar they pay me as a tax deduction for them and I should pay my taxes on every dollar of my income. This just blows my mind!

[daycarewhisperer]

WTH? I'm not a charity, I'm a business! I don't have a donations pot at the door! That's insane! I raised my rates $2/week this year since I haven't raised them in a few years. Parents should have receipts for every dollar they pay me as a tax deduction for them and I should pay my taxes on every dollar of my income. This just blows my mind!

Well that idea won't work for you then.

[DisneyPrincess]

One mom also gave me a card with the check in it for the weekly fees but she added 50$ as a gift to me though...

It was my first Christmas as a daycare provider and so I didnt want to expect anything but I did get pretty spoiled actually... I have to admit that if I hadnt even got a tiny 10$ gift card for Timmys for example at the very least, I would of been a little offended. We work so hard for their children no ?!? I always got something for my daycare provider when my children were in daycare !!!

Oh well Christmas is all over now, hope you have a wonderful New Year 2013 :X