It happened to me again :(

[mimi]

I also call bull on a lot of providers who "say" they get these huge cash bonuses and gifts from clients. Sorry Serindipity, I disagree. I don't get the feel that I am being BSed by members who post their gifts. Why would they do it? I received wonderful gifts from homemade brownies in a tin to $85.00 dollar earrings (dcd left the price on) The gifts we receive are as diverse as our clients. I look at their gift list as informational not bragging. Good for those providers who get spoiled by their clients.

[apples and bananas]

I have received everything from a tin of baked goods and a (obviously) regifted candle to a $100 restaurant gift card. I expect parents to treat me as I've treated my past providers. I don't hold it against them if they don't get me anything or dont send me a card, but I do believe it shows me how much they value me and the services I offer.

I give gift cards to the bus driver, to the teacher, to the dance coach, to the scout leaders... all because I value their involvment in my kids lives. I expect the same.

[mimi]

I agree apples and bananas. I can not complain about my clients. They are a generous lot. However, we do as well give gifts to persons who provide a service to our family. I even gave my mailman a gift. We see him most days on our walks and he stops a moment and talks to the kids and always has a smile and a wave to the residents in our neighborhood. I love the extra effort he puts in to be socialable and I reward and give thanks to him via a verbal thank you and a small token gift. He is so appreciative. That's just the way it should be with us providers.

[Serendipity]

You can disagree if you want to but I still believe that most of them are bogus. Why do they post about them? I don't know...to make up the "crap" they've had to endure or put up with all year long? To make themselves look appreciated and loved? Heck, I have no idea why they post about them but I surely don't see it as informational?!

How is hearing about the week's pay a provider got as a Christmas bonus informational? Especially when it is from a provider who two weeks prior was posting/complaining about how their families don't pay on time or follow any of their policies? (this was NOT in reference to anyone specifically)

Is the week's pay as a Christmas bonus a guilt payment for the bad client the parent was all year? I don't know but in what world do parents treat their care providers so bad all year round just to gift them a big gift at Christmas and figure that it is all good now? Not in my world.

Like I said, I am sure there are lots of great parents who give heartfelt gifts and thank you's all the time to their providers and that is great. What I said in my original post is half of them are BS'ing us. I also think happy thoughts for the ones who are being honest, but the rest....well...you can believe it all you want.

It is just really sad that we measure things in life by the cost or price tag attached. (note: your mention of the price tag being left on) Does that price tag signify how much that family appreciates you? Well then why didn't they spend $100 instead of only $85?

Does this family say thank you on a regular basis to you? Do they always follow your rules and policies? Are they always respectful to you? If so, then why the need to tell us about their "expensive" gift to you? Why not say that the family that is awesome all year was appreciative at Christmas time and leave it at that?

Why brag about the cost of the gift? Does it help, support or influence providers to do anything differently? How is that at all informational to other providers? What information does that give me that is of value? How does YOU getting an $85 Christmas gift make me or anyone else a better provider from that information?

My point in the first place was it IS nice to be appreciatd but I just dont believe that all this appreciation(in the form of expensive gifts) is real or true because if it was....we wouldn't have so many venting/complaining threads and posts on child care provider forums.

I prefer the "real" appreciation over the store bought kind any day.

I also call bull on a lot of providers who "say" they get these huge cash bonuses and gifts from clients. Sorry Serindipity, I disagree. I don't get the feel that I am being BSed by members who post their gifts. Why would they do it? I received wonderful gifts from homemade brownies in a tin to $85.00 dollar earrings (dcd left the price on) The gifts we receive are as diverse as our clients. I look at their gift list as informational not bragging. Good for those providers who get spoiled by their clients.

[Mamma_Mia]

I have personally seen some providers receive $50 Keg gift cards, $100 salon card, bottles of wine etc. She was "spoiled" and good for her!

It's not about WHAT the gift is or HOW much it was....really it isn't.......but a LITTLE thank you would have been nice! I mean, she knows I'm pregnant, give me a box of chocolates!! I'd be so happy It's just the "low blow" of not even a xmas card. Nothing to say thank you...This family doesn't do 'anything' above & beyond...they're late often, don't have propper supplies on them, constantly forgetting something etc. So a thank you to me of some sorts would have been nice for all the times I've helped them out. That's all I'm saying.

[mimi]

Serendipity, I do not get the sense providers post's regarding their appreciation gifts are posting to show how much they are loved - as if it is a competion. We seem to be a mature bunch who don't need to stoop to childish behaviour. I am sorry you see it this way. Not one gift that I received did I perceive as a "guilt gift". I hope I never stoop to that level as a gift recepiant. I don't measure my gifts. The dkd who gave me the 85.00 dollar earrings is the kindest parent all year. He is also really absent minded, so when I saw the price tag on the gift I laughed as I knew that was so like him to forget. Why wasn't it a 100.00 gift? Really? I appreciate the home made brownies as much as the earrings and all gifts in between.
We complain about our dc parents because while most are great, they can do dumb things which grate on our nerves so we vent here. It is a perfectly healthy thing to do. Yes, I see the gift lists posted as informational and not bragging. It is nice to hear about providers being appreciated especially this time of year and I love to read what others receive. If a provider received a HUGE gift, I wouldn't have the attitude that my gifts pale in comparison, it would just be good for you!!!

I don't measure life by cost or price tag and most folks I know don't. I am sorry you have the idea that this is the norm. Thank you for your perspective, but please don't make assumptions about people's motives, especially at this time of good cheer, and call some liars. Not nice.

[Serendipity]

Serendipity, I do not get the sense providers post's regarding their appreciation gifts are posting to show how much they are loved - as if it is a competion. We seem to be a mature bunch who don't need to stoop to childish behaviour. I am sorry you see it this way.

Stating I think the online or public boasting is bogus is not stooping to childish behaviors... I'm simply stating an opinion. Which everyone seems to think we are all entitled to do...unless of course it is something that goes against the grain or isn't what everyone else thinks.

And please, don't feel sorry for me. I am not being childish or vindictive. I am saying what I know other providers think but don't say.

I am happy in my career choice and in the behavior of the clients I serve. I have wonderful families and have zero issues with any of them.

Not one gift that I received did I perceive as a "guilt gift". I hope I never stoop to that level as a gift recepiant. I don't measure my gifts.

Who are you trying to convince? Me or yourself? Again, I simply said I don't believe that all these big cash bonuses are true. If these gift givers (daycare parents) cared so much about their providers, then why are they so inclined to not follow policies or be respectful when it comes to making payments on time the whole rest of the year?

The dkd who gave me the 85.00 dollar earrings is the kindest parent all year. He is also really absent minded, so when I saw the price tag on the gift I laughed as I knew that was so like him to forget. Why wasn't it a 100.00 gift? Really? I appreciate the home made brownies as much as the earrings and all gifts in between.

Then why the need to post the amount? The point you were making didn't require an attached dollar amount....why did you feel the need to post it?
I said "Why wasn't it a $100? because YOU stated that the value of the gift meaning that YOU value the gift at a specific amount and if the value of the gift was so important or meant something significant, then why wasn't it more.

We complain about our dc parents because while most are great, they can do dumb things which grate on our nerves so we vent here. It is a perfectly healthy thing to do.

I don't. I don't complain about my parent behind their backs. I don't post things they did online nor do I openly vent about them. Do I have problems now and then with them...absolutely! But the difference is I tell them. I bring my issues to the person or persons who can change them.

Asking for advice on how to handle a situation is NOT the same thing as simply venting and complaining about them.

Yes, I see the gift lists posted as informational and not bragging. It is nice to hear about providers being appreciated especially this time of year and I love to read what others receive. If a provider received a HUGE gift, I wouldn't have the attitude that my gifts pale in comparison, it would just be good for you!!!

You keep saying that but you don't say how. HOW is posting about gifts others get informational? How is it helping me or anyone to know that you got earrings? How does it make me a better provider? How does that information support, guide or help other providers?

I don't measure life by cost or price tag and most folks I know don't.

Obviously you do.....or you wouldn't have posted the amount of your gift. You must not know the folks on this forum then because ALOT of them have posted values and prices of their gifts. They have also complained about the cheap or low cost gifts they got. That says they DO measure things by monetary value.

I am sorry you have the idea that this is the norm. Thank you for your perspective, but please don't make assumptions about people's motives, especially at this time of good cheer, and call some liars. Not nice.

I didn't make assumptions. I made a statement about what I believe. That might not be perceived as nice but hey, if it bothers you there must have been some truth to it.

It may also not be nice but so is gloating, bragging and boasting about gifts you received (or venting about gifts you didn't receive) at this time of good cheer! That is NOT at all what this season is about.

[Momof4]

This thread has taken a strange turn. I see what you are saying Serendipity and I hate the liars and phoneys as much as the next woman, but I think Mimi is on the level and being honest.

I agree that it means the world to me that my clients are absolutely wonderful people and appreciate me all year long. I speak to them honestly and on a daily basis to tackle ongoing issues with their children, but I'm really careful about the clients I sign on now that I've learned enough lessons to weed out the 'red flag' people. There is definitely a learning curve to choosing the best clients who will work with you, not against you.

Admittedly, I post a few personal issues I'm having with my clients on this site and it's possible they could see themselves in my posts. However, I'm not relating anything on here that the parents don't know about already and I don't say anything bad about them, just the facts. Other people might not feel that it is appropriate to do that on a public forum.

However, I want to educate other providers and parents who may be reading this site and thinking about daycare or having a problem with their provider. If we relate our stories honestly we are helping each other in the business and if we help parents realize that we are all doing is what their caregiver is doing then they know it's normal standards across the board. It's good if we all have similar policies.

Everyone has a right to their opinion! Now I have to admit that 4 out of 5 of my clients ended up giving me a Christmas gift and they are all paying me for the eleven days off that I'm in the middle of right now. I feel very blessed but the cards they gave me with the words of appreciation and thanks are the best part and I keep them all in a special box. THIS is why it isn't fair to the providers who haven't received any gifts or cards or appreciation. I'm happy for everyone who is treated well all year long. If you aren't - find clients who WILL treat you well. They are out there!

[sunnydays]

I don't believe anyone here actually made up untrue gifts just to brag. That is just ridiculous! I think posting about such things is meant to show our appreciation instead of another negative post complaining about something difficult. I have very few problems with my clients...they are mostly respectful, follow my policies, and even show their appreciation from time to time, and all of them gave me Christmas gifts and/or cards...some homemade, some gift cards...all varying in amounts, but I appreciated every one of them and most of all I appreciated that kind words of thanks written in the cards. I do not value the more expensive gifts more than others, but it makes me feel good to know that they all took the time to think about me and to show their appreciation. I don't know why I would make that up! And yes, I think I would feel a bit hard-done by if nobody took that little bit of time or effort to even sign a card for me.

[mimi]

Serendipity, I am glad you have the ability to tell what providers think but are not saying. I stand behind what I have said and will not try to sway you from your negative stance. All the best to you in the New Year.