It happened to me again :(

[Serendipity]

Serendipity, I am glad you have the ability to tell what providers think but are not saying. I stand behind what I have said and will not try to sway you from your negative stance. All the best to you in the New Year.

Thanks for the insinuation but I am NOT clairvoyant. I am simply stating what I "see" other providers posting about on other forums. There are several and a few of them actually have threads more or less laughing at the fakeness of some of the providers boasting about their gifts.

So I am sorry but I cannot read other providers minds....only their words.

You keep saying you stand behind what you said but haven't elaborated. So deflect and detour by calling me negative. How is asking you to explain your words being negative?

Oh, and yeah we all like to be appreciated and even though I feel it is boasting or bragging and sometimes even completely untrue...I still do not understand at all how it can be informative for others.

My response about some of the gifts being BS was to the poster of this thread.
.....You know the thread completely started because the provider didn't get any gifts or thank you's from her daycare parents.......then only a couple posts in someone actually suggested making parents feel guilted into gift giving by posting thank you's publically

...which to me is shaming the parents who didn't gift someone they already pay for services.

I mean if getting a cash bonus or gift at Christmas time is something a provider HAS to have to feel appreciated, then why not just add it into your contract each year. Tell each parent what to get you and how much to spend. That would be just as shallow and childish as complaining/venting about not getting a gift or bragging/boasting about the gifts you did get.

Get real. You can pretend that it isn't about the money or the presents all you want. This whole concept about providers even expecting gifts or cash bonuses is rediculously shallow and negative IMHO. But that's ok, you can call me negative all you want. I didn't start a thread bragging or complaining about gifts I got or didn't get from clients.

FWIW~ I didn't take this thread to a whole new level....I posted my opinion..... someone got their panties in a bunch because of it (because it hit home or who knows why) and now here we are.

[Mamma_Mia]

I don't believe anyone here actually made up untrue gifts just to brag. That is just ridiculous! I think posting about such things is meant to show our appreciation instead of another negative post complaining about something difficult. I have very few problems with my clients...they are mostly respectful, follow my policies, and even show their appreciation from time to time, and all of them gave me Christmas gifts and/or cards...some homemade, some gift cards...all varying in amounts, but I appreciated every one of them and most of all I appreciated that kind words of thanks written in the cards. I do not value the more expensive gifts more than others, but it makes me feel good to know that they all took the time to think about me and to show their appreciation. I don't know why I would make that up! And yes, I think I would feel a bit hard-done by if nobody took that little bit of time or effort to even sign a card for me.

exactly why I created this post....it was just a bummer

[daycarewhisperer]

IMy take on this issue is very different. I think child care providers should be compensated with year end bonuses comensurate with the years they have worked for the client. One weeks pay for a full year of service and two weeks of pay for service over five years. I think it should be in cash and it should be concomittant with at least a week of paid vacation plus the holidays at the end of the year and new years.

If the parent can't come up with a week salary at years end they should offer two to three dollars per week in addition to the salary to build in a bonus so by years end the provider has her paid week.

Providers claim they treasure the family pictures, brownies, and regifts but the truth be told MOST providers want CASH as an acknowledgement of their hard work. Not gift cards or spa days... cold hard CASH and paid time off so they can reboot.

I'm glad I live in a culture where providers are recognized by cash and time off at the end of the year. It makes a huge difference to my bottom line every year. I get two weeks paid off and a week of salary at the least and some years two. My staff assistant also receives equivallent to a week of pay or two depending on how many years she has worked here. Last year my helper was here for three years and received a weeks pay from the parents and two weeks paid off by me plus a xmas bonus from me.

The monies I receive are not compensation for poor behavior during the year. My clients are respectful of my policies and treat me with respect. You don't ever see me online complaining about them. They are good salt of the earth parents who work hard and recognize hard work. I would be crushed if the holidays came and went and they didn't take care of me financially. That's just me but I would be disapointed and hurt.

I do an amazing job all year long. I haven't called off of work in nineteen years. I only get 18 paid days per year in my contract so further compensation is in paid days off and year end bonus.

[Serendipity]

exactly why I created this post....it was just a bummer

Thank you. This is EXACTLY what I am talking about. WHY do you feel they have to give you anything? Why do providers feel that appreciation in the form of cards or gifts are something we have the right to expect?

Why is is so important to you (individually) that parents express their appreciation for your services by doing anything other than being respectful of your rules and policies?

That expectation is what is at the root of this "problem". When other providers start posting about their gifts and cards...they are basically saying "Look what I got from my parents...what did yours get you?" and then you automatically feel like you aren't appreicated or cared about if you didn't get anything....kwim?

It shouldn't be about the gifts, the money or the cards of appreciation. It should be about the respectful, professional relationship between a client and a service provider. You charge a fee for your services, set rules and boundaries for your home and business and clients pay in a timely manner and respect and follow your rules and policies. They stay long term and SHOW you how much they value your services and what you do for their children.

NO where in that formula is there a written rule or expectation that the agreement between the two you includes a card or a gift.

Did you give any of your clients a gift thanking them for their services? (I don't mean DCK's or the gifts you helped the DCK's make for their parents.)

Bottom line is Christmas to me isn't about getting anything. It is about celebrating the birth of Jesus and I think waaaaay too much time and energy is spent on pissing matches about who got what and why.

I am sorry you feel unappreciated by your parents and that none of them gave you a card or a gift. I can't change that for you but what I was doing was trying to help you see it from a different perspective so that you can avoid the hurt feelings next year. I am sure your parents all appreciate what you do for their children and for the services you provide....if they didn't they wouldn't be in your program. Hoping you have a great holiday and a wonderful New Year!

[Mamma_Mia]

Thank you. This is EXACTLY what I am talking about. WHY do you feel they have to give you anything? Why do providers feel that appreciation in the form of cards or gifts are something we have the right to expect?

Why is is so important to you (individually) that parents express their appreciation for your services by doing anything other than being respectful of your rules and policies?

That expectation is what is at the root of this "problem". When other providers start posting about their gifts and cards...they are basically saying "Look what I got from my parents...what did yours get you?" and then you automatically feel like you aren't appreicated or cared about if you didn't get anything....kwim?

It shouldn't be about the gifts, the money or the cards of appreciation. It should be about the respectful, professional relationship between a client and a service provider. You charge a fee for your services, set rules and boundaries for your home and business and clients pay in a timely manner and respect and follow your rules and policies. They stay long term and SHOW you how much they value your services and what you do for their children.

NO where in that formula is there a written rule or expectation that the agreement between the two you includes a card or a gift.

Did you give any of your clients a gift thanking them for their services? (I don't mean DCK's or the gifts you helped the DCK's make for their parents.)

Bottom line is Christmas to me isn't about getting anything. It is about celebrating the birth of Jesus and I think waaaaay too much time and energy is spent on pissing matches about who got what and why.

I am sorry you feel unappreciated by your parents and that none of them gave you a card or a gift. I can't change that for you but what I was doing was trying to help you see it from a different perspective so that you can avoid the hurt feelings next year. I am sure your parents all appreciate what you do for their children and for the services you provide....if they didn't they wouldn't be in your program. Hoping you have a great holiday and a wonderful New Year!

I can only speak for myself but the people I'm talking about aren't the ones to say THANK YOU for feeding my child dinner since I was 30min late AGAIN. Thank you for lending your daughter's clothes to my son since I again forgot to pack his extras, thank you again for being up at 7:30am waiting for me when I only show up at 8:30am becauce I forgot to tell you.....NO THANK YOU EVER so I would think that at the holidays would be a perfect time for someone to say or give a card (doesn't have to be a gift) to say an actual THANK YOU.

Another thing, you DO NOT have to understand how or why I feel a certian way. It's how I FEEL and I CAN feel it if I WANT to. You don't agree.....we get it (eyeroll at your constant 'trying to prove a point' which we got about 20,000 posts ago) You don't agree....fine. Let everyone else WHO DOES agree or at least understands do so without being attacked by YOU and how you feel they should feel. You made your point.... Thanks

[daycarewhisperer]

Thank you. This is EXACTLY what I am talking about. WHY do you feel they have to give you anything? Why do providers feel that appreciation in the form of cards or gifts are something we have the right to expect?

Why is is so important to you (individually) that parents express their appreciation for your services by doing anything other than being respectful of your rules and policies?

That expectation is what is at the root of this "problem". When other providers start posting about their gifts and cards...they are basically saying "Look what I got from my parents...what did yours get you?" and then you automatically feel like you aren't appreicated or cared about if you didn't get anything....kwim?

It shouldn't be about the gifts, the money or the cards of appreciation. It should be about the respectful, professional relationship between a client and a service provider. You charge a fee for your services, set rules and boundaries for your home and business and clients pay in a timely manner and respect and follow your rules and policies. They stay long term and SHOW you how much they value your services and what you do for their children.

NO where in that formula is there a written rule or expectation that the agreement between the two you includes a card or a gift.

Did you give any of your clients a gift thanking them for their services? (I don't mean DCK's or the gifts you helped the DCK's make for their parents.)

Bottom line is Christmas to me isn't about getting anything. It is about celebrating the birth of Jesus and I think waaaaay too much time and energy is spent on pissing matches about who got what and why.

I am sorry you feel unappreciated by your parents and that none of them gave you a card or a gift. I can't change that for you but what I was doing was trying to help you see it from a different perspective so that you can avoid the hurt feelings next year. I am sure your parents all appreciate what you do for their children and for the services you provide....if they didn't they wouldn't be in your program. Hoping you have a great holiday and a wonderful New Year!

With your theory then why would ANYBODY ever receive year end bonus?? Most of my clients work in companies where they receive year end bonus. My sister works for the power company and she gets a large bonus every year and so do her work mates.

Child care is a hard job and it's a personal service. It should be coveted and rewarded when the job is done well. As in many other businesses the time of year to offer bonuses is at years end. If I have a client that leaves before years end they normally do my year bonus with my last week of pay depending on how far into the year we are.


I do not give any gifts to children or families. I don't give any unpaid time off either. I don't want the tail waggin the dog here. I do throw a big party every year for the kids that go to kindergarten IF they have been here since birth. That's my gift to the kids... and it's a wopper. This year I rented a hotel conference room and had a big swim party with my current kids and the kids who have gone off to school who had been here their whole life. I do a reunion/kindy party for any kid who has been here for five years. This year the parents ALL helped me with the party by bringing food and giving me cash for the hotel bill. They did that without me asking. Other than that.. I do not buy any gifts for birthday or xmas.

[Serendipity]

Another thing, you DO NOT have to understand how or why I feel a certian way. It's how I FEEL and I CAN feel it if I WANT to. You don't agree.....we get it (eyeroll at your constant 'trying to prove a point' which we got about 20,000 posts ago) You don't agree....fine. Let everyone else WHO DOES agree or at least understands do so without being attacked by YOU and how you feel they should feel. You made your point.... Thanks

Yes, you can feel however you want. I don't have to understand (I don't) and you are certainly allowed to feel whatever you want when you want...but you are basically saying you have that right but I don't ???? Hmm...not really fair but whatever.

Don't be dramatic, I didn't post 20,000 times....LOL! I posted once. Then someone disageed with me and when I responded, poop hits the fan.

Jeez....you'd think I said that all providers were babysitters... or simply in this for the money

I wasn't telling anyone how to feel. I was defending my words and asking for the person who commented DIRECTLY to me to clarify their words....sorry if that was against the forum rules.

I won't try to prove my point any more. It is apparently not something you want to understand.

Again, I AM SORRY YOU FELT UNAPPRECIATED BY YOUR DAYCARE PARENTS!!!!



@Daycarewhisper....a s to not continue to try and prove my point....I have no idea why companies continue to give bonuses to their employees. I was talking about child care so I can't answer about electric companies and other corporations. My guess would be because your sister's work generated business or income for the company so they say thank you by giving year end bonuses.

[daycarewhisperer]

Yes, you can feel however you want. I don't have to understand (I don't) and you are certainly allowed to feel whatever you want when you want...but you are basically saying you have that right but I don't ???? Hmm...not really fair but whatever.

Don't be dramatic, I didn't post 20,000 times....LOL! I posted once. Then someone disageed with me and when I responded, poop hits the fan.

Jeez....you'd think I said that all providers were babysitters... or simply in this for the money

I wasn't telling anyone how to feel. I was defending my words and asking for the person who commented DIRECTLY to me to clarify their words....sorry if that was against the forum rules.

I won't try to prove my point any more. It is apparently not something you want to understand.

Again, I AM SORRY YOU FELT UNAPPRECIATED BY YOUR DAYCARE PARENTS!!!!



@Daycarewhisper....a s to not continue to try and prove my point....I have no idea why companies continue to give bonuses to their employees. I was talking about child care so I can't answer about electric companies and other corporations. My guess would be because your sister's work generated business or income for the company so they say thank you by giving year end bonuses.

No my sisters job doesn't bring money to the company. She works in report distribution. Been there thirty years and gets a year end bonus every year. One of my day care dads is an accountant and he gets a bonus every year.

WiI bonus out my staff assistant every year because she has a hard job and she shows up every day to do it. She's bringing up little kids which is a nobel proffession and deserves to be acknowledged with extra and special every year.

I'm happy I live in an area where day care providers are thought of at years end. I didn't even realize this wasn't common everywhere until I got the internet and started reading sad posts like this from all over the country. It amazes me that so many providers get nothing or just cards, pics, and regifts. I've always gotten bonuses. In fact, the first five years or so it was common for parents to add bonus money in my weekly salary just as a thank you. I would never know when it was coming and would thrilled to get it. Now my rates are higher and my clients just do end of service or end of year bonuses.

[Serendipity]

I'm happy I live in an area where day care providers are thought of at years end. I didn't even realize this wasn't common everywhere until I got the internet and started reading sad posts like this from all over the country. It amazes me that so many providers get nothing or just cards, pics, and regifts. I've always gotten bonuses. In fact, the first five years or so it was common for parents to add bonus money in my weekly salary just as a thank you. I would never know when it was coming and would thrilled to get it. Now my rates are higher and my clients just do end of service or end of year bonuses.

Like I said, I am not allowed to continue trying to prove my point. But I will respond to your post.

Your neighbor did not receive a single thing for Christmas from her parents. Nothin', nada, zilch. Not even a thank you so apparently receiving year end bonuses and gifts isn't the norm everywhere as much as some people think.

Maybe I am wording my thoughts wrong and this quote says what I am meaning better.......

"Our culture is changing. The way that most parents look at child care is that it's terribly expensive and "too much" in the first place.

All the effort and gift giving providers do for their families isn't going to be something the families translate into honoring the provider in the same way because they don't believe they should or they believe YOU (the provider) should be the one doing the celebration and giving. If that's what they believe then it may be time to believe them and follow in line to that belief.

If you are dealing with clients that have this belief system it may be best to just stay out of the Christmas loop completely and carry on as you normally do throughout the year. If you do a bunch of Christmas stuff with the kids and for the parents you actually may be setting a thought process in their minds that your ROLE as a provider is to GIVE to them. It may actually backfire on you and leave you empty and sad.

You don't have to do crafts, parties, gifts for the kids, gifts from the kid to the parents etc. You can go with the belief system the parents have and not do a Christmas between your kids, clients, and yourself.

If you really want a year end bonus or gifting why not consider building a paid vacation into the end of the year for YOU to look forward to? If you are already doing that then maybe another idea is to raise your rates two dollars a week per client and put that one hundred dollars a year per kid away and have THAT be your year end bonus. "

[daycarewhisperer]

Like I said, I am not allowed to continue trying to prove my point. But I will respond to your post.

Your neighbor did not receive a single thing for Christmas from her parents. Nothin', nada, zilch. Not even a thank you so apparently receiving year end bonuses and gifts isn't the norm everywhere as much as some people think.

Maybe I am wording my thoughts wrong and this quote says what I am meaning better.......

"Our culture is changing. The way that most parents look at child care is that it's terribly expensive and "too much" in the first place.

All the effort and gift giving providers do for their families isn't going to be something the families translate into honoring the provider in the same way because they don't believe they should or they believe YOU (the provider) should be the one doing the celebration and giving. If that's what they believe then it may be time to believe them and follow in line to that belief.

If you are dealing with clients that have this belief system it may be best to just stay out of the Christmas loop completely and carry on as you normally do throughout the year. If you do a bunch of Christmas stuff with the kids and for the parents you actually may be setting a thought process in their minds that your ROLE as a provider is to GIVE to them. It may actually backfire on you and leave you empty and sad.

You don't have to do crafts, parties, gifts for the kids, gifts from the kid to the parents etc. You can go with the belief system the parents have and not do a Christmas between your kids, clients, and yourself.

If you really want a year end bonus or gifting why not consider building a paid vacation into the end of the year for YOU to look forward to? If you are already doing that then maybe another idea is to raise your rates two dollars a week per client and put that one hundred dollars a year per kid away and have THAT be your year end bonus. "

Was the neighbor part directed towards me? I don't know who you are speaking of but I will take your word for it.

I do agree with the rest of your post. I don't do much as far as crafting and our xmas party is mostly home made stuff. When I do a party the parents are wonderful about pitching in. Some do cash and some bake or buy pizza for us.

I would encourage providers who don't have year end bonuses to set up some kind of weekly fund to go into a year end fund. I've suggested before things like a "party and paper" pot where the parents give two dollars per week per child into the fund which would cover any party expenses, craft expenses, and some leftover money for the provider at the end of the year. Each slot doing two dollars a week will land a hundred dollars per year per slot to cover celebrations and give the provider some extra coin at years end.

Ask for coins and have the pot in the arrival and depature area so parents can see it grow. Use the sorting of the coins as an activity once a month and stash the money away. That way you have money for little presents or crafts and a little something for yourself.