Tattling/telling on each other

[Momof4]

Oooh daycarewhisperer, that doesn't sound like a good idea to me, sorry, you're not addressing the problem at all.

Lilywildcat, I agree with playfelt that it's good if the tattlers point out something that should be taken care of right away with the smaller children. We're very busy and can't see everything all the time. However, I had the worst tattletale girl in care and went through this problem for over 3 years and I swear, I almost lost my mind. I know how you feel right now.

I was constantly doing what you are doing and asking her to talk to her friend about whatever upset her and not to tell me. Unfortunately, I had to listen to the nonstop tattling all day all the time to assess whether it was something important or nothing to do with me.

Then I worked hard with this little girl telling her I was helping her solve her problems and be a good friend. That's what we are trying to do with the children, helping them brainstorm to solve problems for themselves. It's a tool they need all their lives.

We have to remember to breathe and control our frustration and keep working at it over and over for the sake of the children. They are learning a valuable life lesson and good habits and manners and problem solving all rolled into one. Be consistent and pat yourself on the back at the end of the day for not losing your mind!!! Trust me, I've had that child here!

So it sounds like you're already doing the right thing you just need reinforcement and support to keep going and that's what we're here for. Vent away!

[daycarewhisperer]

Oooh daycarewhisperer, that doesn't sound like a good idea to me, sorry, you're not addressing the problem at all.

Lilywildcat, I agree with playfelt that it's good if the tattlers point out something that should be taken care of right away with the smaller children. We're very busy and can't see everything all the time. However, I had the worst tattletale girl in care and went through this problem for over 3 years and I swear, I almost lost my mind. I know how you feel right now.

When they are tattling there IS no problem. I don't address non problems.

My method insures that I never have to endure a child who tattles for THREE years. Mine figure out within a few days that it doesn't pay to tattle.

If they rat out their friend for an offense we thank them. When they tattle we turf them over to the youngest walker in the room who DIGS being talked to by the biggins. It only takes a few times for them to figure out what they get the thanks for and what gets turfed over to the thirteen month old.

We sort tattles that way so they SEE what we value and don't value. Simlple.... easy.... no talk necessary..... just a thanks or a "go tell Johnny". Takes seconds and we are movin on to something else. Way quicker than three years.