I like Apples and Bananas approach. I do think if we just ignore or basically tell them we don't care, it is sending the wrong message. While who took what toy from whom, may not seem important to us and it is annoying to hear, it IS important to a 3 or 4 year old and they are telling us because they don't know what to do about it. We have to teach them how to solve these problems on their own...not teach them that nobody cares and how they feel doesn't matter. I will also ask a child to go and tell the other child what they don't like and why and ask the child for what they need (for example, "I was playing with that toy and you took it. That makes me sad. Please give it back.)...depends on the age how elebarate, but they need to learn how to talk to each other first before immediately running to tattle.