Nasty bitter

[Skysue]

My understanding of "shadowing" is following one specific child around (in this case the biter) CONSTANTLY. I do not have time to do this because I have six children in care. I am busy prepping meals/snacks, dressing kids to go outside, changing diapers, assisting in the washroom, wiping noses, table activities, story time, circle time, and supervising ALL the kids during free play. So no I will not shadow a biter. And I won't tolerate biters in my day home simply because my parents will not tolerate their children being bitten.

I see your side and yes it is very hard work to do. As I also have 5 kids plus my own. I just chose that method as how else can you find a solution to a problem if you don't see what the motivation is. I know it can be difficult for people to hear that there child was bitten but I have very understanding parents and I am extremely greatful for that. My bitter had also already been with me for a whole year and I'm happy I persevered as she is a very fun loving child.

Cheers

[playfelt]

If biting is happening regularly then it will likely only take 1-2 days of watching the child like a hawk to see what is happening. What you want to do is stay in the background but watch every movement of the child - when he is alone, which child does he seem to try to interact with, which child does he seem to try to move away from. How do the other children react to the biter - sometimes there is actually a child that puts themselves in harms way and teases the biter just to get the child in trouble. Is it a particular toy or activity that causes issues? A particular time of day or just before or after a specific event? This will help weed out issues of hunger, tired, noisy, etc.

[Skysue]

Thanks Playfelt that's exactly what I did. I'm greatful it worked for me. I suppose when I said shadowing I should have elaborated a bit more.

[daycarewhisperer]

I have done home day care for two decades and had one bite incident my first year. I've gone nineteen years without a single bite. I would not keep a biter under any circumstances. I would have terminated this family immediately when I found out the mom lied about the child's behavior at home.

In my setting shadowing would be very expensive. I couldn't make enough money in tuition to cover the adult time.

I don't have biteing because our supervision is very very tight and I don't allow the pre-behaviors that children do before they bite. I also integrate new walkers into our play areas very gradually over a period of months so that they can learn what behaviors we want. I pair up the oldest child with the toddlers in play for months so that the older child can show the toddler what we want.

I have strict rules of play and close/proximal supervision at all times. Here is an article about play rules. With these rules and supervision we have been completely violence free for twenty years: http://www.daycare.com/nannyde/there...m#comment-1422

I promise my parents a violence free child care and I deliver. I take violence and aggression seriously and would have no problem terminating a child or family that didn't have the same expectations. I advertise our violence free program and parents expect that I keep it that way. They would leave if I didn't.