I was my mother's full-time caregiver for the last two years of her life, and I think that made it even more difficult. I felt cast adrift when she died; like my whole purpose was gone. Sounds melodramatic, I know, and I have a great husband, three grown-up children with life partners I adore, and now two wonderful little granddaughters. But it was still just horrible. Opening my daycare has helped as I feel I'm doing something worthwhile again (somehow, being a university professor never did feel very worthwhile, although it's a good part-time job and I appreciate the income). I went to get some grief counselling, and the counsellor pointed out that a big problem was the fact that my dad died when I was little, 45 years ago, and we never talked about it in my family. No one wanted to upset anyone else, so no one mentioned my dad to me after the funeral, at least until I was an adult with children of my own. The other thing my counsellor said was to expect the "TUG's" and not let them worry me. That stands for "temporary urges of grief" that come up suddenly even years later. He said that's normal. So when I have a day where I'm sad and tired all over again, I realize it's normal and not a sign that I'm getting worse again. Hope that makes sense. I found it very helpful!