Introduction and late drop off

[Thorneyb]

Hi everyone! This is my first time posting but I have just spent nap time here reading as many posts here as I can and it seems like a lot of great advice!

My contract clearly outlines late pick up but I am having trouble with one DCM who consistently drops off her almost 3 yr old son (birthday this week) a minimum of half an hour late every morning. They live two houses away. Her contract states 9:30 but she can't manage to get him here ever before 10 because he has a tantrum. I'm not sure what the problem is because he enjoys being here and doesn't fight once they arrive. He is truly gold as far as his behaviour with me but I know he is opposite at home.

Anyway, I know I need to nip this lateness in the bud but I need help in my approach. I fear the mother suffers depression (only speculation on my part) and just doesn't have the energy to fight with her son. So I don't want to upset her for that reason but also because they are such close neighbours. How can I bring this up?

It is a problem because I do like to get out and about in the mornings and only have until 11:30 before we pick up the other kids from school. When they are late, then we end up staying home waiting around. I thought about offering to pick him up on my way by from dropping the other kids off at school (around 9:15) but if he isn't ready to go then I will be wasting time waiting and I don't want to add another item to my schedule. It should be her job to get him here on time! Any thoughts?

[Monday 2 Friday Mama]

Hi there - welcome to the group ! =) I think I would just tell this Mum the truth about how important it is that he arrive on time so that you and the kids can get on with doing fun stuff. It's kind of you to be tuned in to her mood, and obviously, use as much tact and diplomacy as you would in any other job when you have to have an unpleasant conversation with someone. No need to make her feel worse, right ? =) Try suggesting that she build an extra half hour/forty five minutes into her morning schedule - if she arrives a half hour earlier than you expected it's not a problem for you, is it ? I would absolutely avoid offering to do pick up - like you said, if he's running late, you don't have time to wait on him. Good luck !

[Dreamalittledream]

Welcome! I feel for her, it can be tough at that age and if she's dealing with other issues then she's overwhelmed no doubt. But, if this mom can't get a routine that works with her child to arrive at that time.....how is she going to manage getting him to school on time? Perhaps it's the mom that has trouble getting going in the morning? Have you tried to talk with her about how the late arrival effects your day? Tough situation being a neighbor and all...best of luck to you

[Momof4]

If this happens on a nice day when you can go to a park or somewhere else I would call the Mom at 9am and tell her where you will be for the morning and that she will have to find you because you are leaving. I have done this is in the past. I won't sit around waiting and wondering and letting our busy, fun morning be ruined by a mother who doesn't have her life in order so she can be on time. The Mom at my daycare learned to be here by 9am all the time. You have to demand respect and show your clients that your contract is a legal piece of paper that is not to be trifled with on any level.

[kidlove]

NO! do not offer to pick him up! you will get in over your head, picture yourself standing there with all the other kids waiting for this kid to stop the "fit" so mom can finished getting him ready! dont do that \, you will regret it! what you need to do is...next times she drops him off or next time she shows up late with him...very quickly and matter of factly, mention you need him there by the contracted time of 9 am, due to the fact that you usually get the kids out and about at that time and don't want any troubles with outdorr time before picking others up from school.....then, you need to follow through. The next day, you need to have all kids dressed and ready to go by 9 am, IF she is not there by 5 after, GO! go on with your day as if he was there, leave the house go about your regular routine, if she misses you guys? thats her fault......she will learn fast if you dont allow her to control your day. You could even leave a note on the door, "sorry we missed you, left at 9:05, will be ________" thanks _______.

[kidlove]

i had a parent who did that on a regular basis, I too got sick of it, so purposefully packed the kids up and left the house one day, you can imagine his confusion when he got to my house and I wasn't there waiting for him to show up late as usual. he had to take the day off work and spend it with his kid instead.

[mom-in-alberta]

I have my suspicions that this may be mom-driven, as much as it is child-driven.
I think you give one more warning.
"It is important that you are here by 9:30 because....". After that, you go about your routine and don't answer the door past 9:35. You cannot sit around waiting on her/him.
This will only happen once, I think!
How is she showing up a half hour late to work, consistently?? I have never had a job that was ok with that!! LoL

[DisneyPrincess]

I definitely do not wait around !! In the summer, I just put up the not in the door "at the park" or "walking around the neighbourhood" up to them to be on time, or find me If she's depressive and has such a hard time her son, she should just drop him off earlier and then have some nice time on her own ?!?!