Two week deposit..

[skyee]

Hi Ladies,
Well I decided to post as I have a question to ask. I signed with a new family last Aug for a Jan start. I usually ask for two weeks deposit which goes towards the first two weeks of care. I have a document that both signed that I received the deposit and its non- refundable if they decide at the last minute to not put their child in my care. The thing is, my first day with the child was wow! She screamed for 4 hours straight,outdoors as well she screamed the whole time in the stroller and I go to the bus to drop off a boy, she didn't want to be held, or drink/eat it was heartbreaking to see the child go through that...it was hard on my other children as well....for a whole 2 weeks.
How much time should we give a child to adjust? and the parents want their deposit back, but I actually cared for the child.

[fruitloop]

Well, you said it goes towards their first 2 weeks of care so I guess you could deduct the day from the total. I don't think 1 day is a fair enough shot for the child to adjust though.

[Inspired by Reggio]

Are THEY choosing to pull there child after the one day or are you choosing to terminate the arrangement?

If you are the one choosing to terminate after the one day without notice because you feel the child is not a match than IMO what I would do is return their deposit minus the one day you actually 'provided service' because the client nor the child has done anything 'wrong' to forfeit the deposit ~ even though your contract says the deposit is non~refundable keeping it without providing 'service' during the first two weeks of service it is suppose to be applied to as per your contract could get you in conflict with the clients that could end up costing you way more than just refunding the deposit ~ so you'd have to weigh the risks of getting sued or the negative word of mouth advertizing they could create for you in deciding if you keep it or return it.

The sad reality is that some children take longer to adjust to group care than others depending on their personality, temperament, age and how the adults caring for them helped to prepare them for group care.

Upon signing the contract was there discussion with the clients about things they can do at home over the upcoming 5 months to ensure she is ready for daycare ~ may providers have a 'things to do to ensure your child is ready for daycare list' in their handbooks or contracts? Getting on to the daycare routine for meals and naps, learning to accept food or drink from variety of people by being left with others other than mom or dad, learning to go down to sleep on own and with others doing the routine with them, learning 'delayed gratification' aka that the world does not stop the minute you want/need something sometimes you have to wait a few minutes for your needs/wants to be met but they WILL be met eventually, able to self entertain or play and so forth ... all the skills that will help them in

Did she come for any pre~visits or anything before hand to help her get use to you and the group before being expected to spend a whole day with you?

I know many providers prefer the 'cold turkey' adjustment to daycare but the reality is that for many children that approach is definitely more stressful and going to mean a lot of anxiety or angry screaming during the initial few weeks and sometimes months until they learn to trust the provider and what to expect from the environment and so forth

Personally my practice is that no child will be kept in care who is crying for a consistent straight period of 2 hours without being 'consoled' in some fashion by me because IMO that is a long time for a child to have their cortisol levels so high and be at that level of 'stress' ... in fact I tend to give a parent a heads up after an hour if they are REALLY crying hard.

I prefer do 'transition days' into my program with a few play dates with parent present to increase 'their' comfort so the child is not feeding on any parental anxiety when finally left here, the first solo day being planned for 2 hours starting at the 'normal' drop off time to start them getting use to the routine and when child shows improvement than we increase to 4 hours, 6 hours and finally full days which usually takes about a 2 week period although some kids are awesome and go up to full day within 1 week time frame cause they just ease right into the program having been prepared and having that type of personality ... works like a charm in my program for smooth and quick adjustments to the program.

[sunnydays]

I had one who recently screamed like that for the first two weeks and then finally started to calm down and by week 4 he was totally fine and is now a great little guy and so so sweet. Are the parents wanting to pull the child out? You say they want the deposit back, so I am guessing you have discussed stopping care. If you have provided the two weeks of care then they should not be refunded as you provided the care and they ahve to pay for it whether the child cried or not. Personally I would give it another week or two if you can, but I know it is really hard and I wasn't sure if I would make it to week three either. Good luck!

[mimi]

Hi Skyee, I am quessing this little one is a year old? Hopefully this is your worst day and it will get better. I have had screamers/cryers too. This will slowly ebb as the child becomes adjusted to you and your daycare. I have never had to terminiate on these grounds as the child has always come around. It just really depends on what you are able to tolerate. Not drinking/eating can be common in this situation. I always had water/milk available and offered food at all the usual times. The child will not starve herself so she will eat when she needs too. Good luck and get some ear plugs.

[Momof4]

My last 3 little ones who started at my daycare screamed for 1)4 months 2)2 months & 3)2 1/2 months before they finally settled in and became happy. I kept talking to the parents and getting them to help out to adjust their child to daycare and gave them all the tips I could. A few things like having the same meal and naptime schedule on the weekend, not running to pick them up at every whimper but letting them learn to be more independent and less clingy, things like that. I also learned that the don't settle in until they are full-time so get to that point as fast as you can.

Meals and naps and the screaming are the Big Three of problems that we deal with on a regular basis when we start new children but keep it going and teach the children that it's the same every day and you won't cave in no matter what. Try to teach the parents that those things are really important too. If the parents don't help me I have to terminate. If the parents are really trying then I keep trying.

About the deposit though - it should go to the LAST weeks of care, not the first. That's how most of us do it anyway. And when I'm saving a space for a month or more it is NOT refundable or applied to the last weeks of care.