Just dont know what to do

[monkeymama]

I have a 3 yo dcg who has been with me 6 months now. every single morning after drop off, for about 1-2 hours she sits and crys for her parents. the constant tears are really starting to get to me. I am thinking about terming. however, this is really the only problem. she eats great, naps great, is a good listener/helper just cries alot. Her parents follow my rules and pay on time. She will only be here until sept when she starts school. according to her parents, this is an improvement. i am daycare #4 and all the others previous she cried all day/every day.

I am just torn. i feel bad for terming just because of the crying but it can be very frustrating sometimes.

[Sandbox Sally]

Can you try to keep her busy busy busy for the first hour after she gets there? Maybe start her on a craft or something? She's old enough at 3 that she can do a craft on her own for a while...or sensory bins? Or? Something like that?

It might make a difference if she's immediately stimulated with a fave activity once she walks in.

[monkeymama]

Alphagetti, thanks for the suggestions. I have tried all of those and all they do is increase the crying and tantrum. I have never had a child this old have such difficulty with drop off.

[Sandbox Sally]

Bye! LOL I couldn't take that for another eight months, personally. It's not like she hasn't had time to adjust.

[Skysue]

How about telling her straight out that she is a big girl and crying at your house is not allowed. Maybe let her pick a DVD to watch for 20 minutes right after drop off, tell her if she doesn't cry and is a big girl you will let her chose something.

I had a similar situation and my little dcg loved Dora so I let her watch it. I'm not sure of your morning routine but for me it's treehouse for the 1st 1/2 to 40 minutes until everyone is dropped off.

[playfelt]

May be time to go the other way and treat the crying as unacceptable behaviour and send her timeout or whatever you do in your home. Call her on it telling her it is ok to miss your parents but they are not here to see how angry (don't say upset) you are so save the tears for at home. Let her know it is unacceptable behaviour and she has the choice to stop or take it to bed or whatever you do.

She is old enough to know that every action has a consequence be it pleasant or otherwise. Make sure the parents are being very quick and matter of fact and no oh you poor dear type behaviour at drop off or pick up that could be feeding into the behaviour. Also remind them about trying to make it up to her with undivided attention in the evening - again will be contributing to it continuing.

[Crayola kiddies]

Have you tried telling her that the behaviour is unacceptable and that she is upsetting the other children and that she will have to spend time in the time out chair if she continues or have you tried telling her if she comes in the next day with out crying she can have a sticker .... She is old enough to understand inappropriate behaviour .... And also able to follow the routine ...play ....snack... Outside time.... Lunch.... Story.... Nap.... Snack.... Home .... Or maybe if she doesn't cry she can help with snack .... You know the child .... Does she respond better to rewards or deterrents ?

[Crayola kiddies]

Haha play felt we were typing at the same time .... And we said pretty much the same thing!

[Dreamalittledream]

I wish I had advice for you...sounds like you've tried everything. There was a little guy in my oldest son's kindergarten that I volunteered with who literally screamed and cried (vice grip cling to his mother) every single time she dropped him off for 2 years! Funny thing...when Dad was the drop off person, it was a quick wave by son and off he went to play.

[monkeymama]

thanks everyone for the suggestions. i have had numerous talks with dcp and we just dont seem to be getting anywhere. i have tried talking to her, time outs, "big girl" behavior getting her to help me with something, a quiet activity without the other kids, nothing seems to be working. all my other kids (ranging from 12 months- 4 years) come in with a smile and hug for me except her. all i get is tears lol. its just so difficult because i know if i term it will be the same somewhere else for her. i just worry that it is affecting the other kids which i do not like.