Just dont know what to do

[playfelt]

Make sure you aren't spending too much time trying to get her to stop because that just feeds into the tears. Once mom is gone if child starts just point to the designated spot and say "stop or go". Then walk away. If she stops fine just go on about the day. If she doesn't stop then physically take her to the spot and say "stop or stay. When you are done come and play with us." and then walk away.

This is beyond a traumatized forlorn child that needs to be comforted and in the realm of tantrum.

[Inspired by Reggio]

I would not 'punish' the crying however I would ensure it gets NO attention from anyone at all ... at that age if a child is needing to have a good cry for whatever reason they are taught to go have some 'alone time' on their cot and as soon as they are ready they are more than welcome to return to the group at their own initiative ... so it is not a time out in the traditional sense that I am determining how long they are sitting there it is more teaching them 'self regulation' with the message is it is ok to be SAD that mom and dad are gone however being here is not a choice and it is not ok to ruin everyone elses enjoyment of the program just cause you are feeling sad ~ so here is a place where you can experience your emotions and reflect on your choice is to either be sad here in your alone space or make the best of that fact you are here like it or not and come join your friends for some fun.

I find when they are not getting any 'control' over their behavior getting looks from peers or peers complaining it is too loud and well getting no 'attention' for the crying and so forth that they are much quicker to choose to come to the group and make the most of it where they will get attention and interaction from others.

[daycarewhisperer]

I would have her go straight to bed when she gets there. Not as a punishment but as something else to do. She needs a good one hour nap when she arrives. I would bet she is up late every night and up during the night.

She might as well cry in bed then cry around you and the other kids. This will allow her to have some privacy in her grief and separation.

[gcj]

yeah, I was thinking similar as daycarewhisperer. Especially if beds are in a different area. She won't be as bothersome and maybe it'll be boring enough for her to snap out of it. I'd try tough love.

[Momof4]

Monkeymama, I think I love you! Seriously, I have a little girl who just turned 2 and she's been with me for a year and has been happy and sweet and has wonderful parents. For the past month or so she's been crying for the first hour of every day for her Mommy & Daddy and that's never happened before. It's making me NUTS!

Her parents are great and we've had lots of talks and they can't figure out what's wrong. Everything is the same at home and she's fine at home. She's sleeping the same. The only thing I can think is that my little girl is a creature of routine and her old routine was to come in and set up a tea party for the dolls, then all of a sudden she started the crying routine instead.

I've tried hugging her for the entire hour, being tough and just telling her to stop it for the hour, redirecting and distracting her, it's crazy. Sound familiar? If you find the answer please share and I'll certainly share with you if I can figure out a solution!

[bright sparks]

I would have her go straight to bed when she gets there. Not as a punishment but as something else to do. She needs a good one hour nap when she arrives. I would bet she is up late every night and up during the night.

She might as well cry in bed then cry around you and the other kids. This will allow her to have some privacy in her grief and separation.

I think I'd be inclined to do this. Its tough because you've tried everything else by the sounds of things and she probably knows you are at your wits end. Try the bed thing, but I wouldn't expect it to change over night. Just try to be consistant and hopefully you will hear a decline in the duration of the crying and fingers crossed it will eventually stop with a possibility of transitioning her to a quiet spot in your daycare room with comfy pillows and a favourite book first thing in the morning if the crying stops. GOod Luck

[monkeymama]

after thinking about everyones suggestions last night, i realized i have been feeding into the crying by trying to get her to stop. so as soon as she started, i sent her to her mat and told her when she was ready to be big and come back she could. took about 45 mins and then she came and played. im going to try and be consistent and hope this works. im just at a loss and am just trying to prevent her tears from affecting the others

[playfelt]

That is great news. IF you got her to stop in less than an hour the first day you tried it then there is great hope. Expect the next two days to be louder and more attempt to get your to "hear" her but if you all stay strong she will give in. In a sense it is the same as a leaving a child to CIO at naptime in the sense of you are on your own and responsible for your own happiness and some things are just not optional - in this case stop or rest - if she comes to the playroom and starts again send her back to try again and well as I said day one looks really positive to me. Good for you.

[Other Mummy]

That's encouraging news!

You have to keep us posted on the progress.

[Momof4]

That's fantastic news Monkeymama, keep up the great work!