Just dont know what to do

[Momof4]

That's fantastic news Monkeymama, keep up the great work!

[monkeymama]

I feel like Im at my breaking point with this girl now. I never know what kind of day we are going to have with her. She cried all morning today, refused to participate in any activities and is so attached to her blanket it is ridiculous. I feel bad terming when she will be starting school in September but not sure how much more I can take....how should I explain all this to her parents? Ive been having lots of talks with them about her behaviour but I dont think they realize how upsetting it is to me and the other kids all day long...how draining it is....Ive just never seen a child this age behave like this and just dont know what to do anymore....

[gravy_train]

Monkeymamma, I think you just need to be honest with the parents at this point. Explain how her crying is affecting the other children in your program and that as a provider you need to make sure that everyone in your care is in a safe and happy environment. Explain everything you've done so far to remedy the situation... maybe ask for their input and put a timeline on it... for example, say that you'll try for another 2 weeks but you are really at your wit's end.
you could ask the parent's to maybe put a picture of you up on their fridge at home and ask them to talk to her about you and about her friends at daycare when she's home?

[Inspired by Reggio]

I have never had to terminate since moving from centre to homecare but one of the things we use to do in centre care when staff were feeling they were at their 'end of the rope' with supporting a child and not getting enough help from HOME was to draw up a 'behaviour management contract' basically your child is being put on 'probation' and if the following behaviours are not remedied by X date we are going to have to terminate service. We would give action plan for what we were doing in PROGRAM and what we needed for HOME in hopes to get the issue resolved ... this way it was not a 'shock' when a client finally got a 'sorry but effective X date we will no longer be able to provide care' and honestly in my 17 years of centre care we only had to actually terminated TWO children because the minute the parents realized the behavior was going to affect THEM in having no childcare they got on board at home with instilling the 'skills' the child needed to thrive in the group setting!

A child heading to school in 7 months should have way more resiliency and conflict resolution skills than to be melting down daily ~ something is not right either in her sleep routines and she is overtired OR she has been allowed to use manipulative crying to get special treatment and has figured it works so keeps doing it ... either way it needs addressing with better management of her emotions and to self soothe before school otherwise she is going to have a tough time in a classroom of 25 children!

[apples and bananas]

I probably wouldn't terminate her. If she feels like crying at the door... by all means.. there is the door. Let me know when you're ready to join the fun.

it's a great life lesson to learn to buck up and have fun rather then dwell in the sadness. I would give her no attention accept to tell her that she's a big girl and if she insists on crying here is where you sit. Let me know when you're ready to have fun with us.

If it's just until Sept and she's napping and eating great I'd put up with it. In the summer you may be able to just start your day outside. That way she'll either settle down and play or you'll get complaints from the neighbours. LOL

[monkeymama]

Well after a very difficult day yesterday, I tried again to talk to dcm. Her responses were not what I was looking for and Ive decided to term. Im really torn about this decision but am hoping Im making the right one. Planning to give them ample notice to sort things out. Really hope I can fill her space tho as she is FT. Thanks everyone for the suggestions, really appreicate them.

[Momof4]

Have you talked to the parents about how much the little girl sleeps at night? You probably don't remember but a few pages back I mentioned I was going through a spell with a little girl having crying spells and it turned out she was having a spell of bad sleep at night. The parents have her all straightened out for sleeping at night again and she has stopped crying in the morning. Sometimes the answer is simple.

[monkeymama]

Momof4- thanks this is actually one of the issues. parents allow her to stay up very late and then she is exhausted all day. ive had countless talks with them about it and nothing has changed. i have no idea what they are going to do when she starts school full time in september. she sleeps 3 hours here everyday!

[Momof4]

If the parents won't fix things at their end, you know what to do. Sorry.