Kind of a vent- parents change terms of care- Your thoughts?

[MonkeyPrincess]

I have agreed to care for a child requiring early start times. I will only be caring for the child for a few months. It was first to be 1-2 days a week but with a change in the dad's work schedule, it's now 4 days a week.

After further thought and evaluation, I spoke to Mom about early starts/burnout/ my own family's responsibilities, etc. and i think she understood, but i know she doesn't have back up care so i felt bad backing out of the agreement with only a few weeks left for her to go back to work. I told her i would do the best i could but if it gets to be too much then i will let her know. what do you think about my situation. What do you advise?

[Dreamalittledream]

Oh boy....I am just coming out of a similar situation. I would think there are several factors to consider. On the 6am mornings is there someone else in your home to take care of the morning routine with your own children/is new DCK able to independent play or play well with your own children while you attend to early morning or supper time needs? The reality is, as long as I have a daycare child on the house, no matter how well behaved, I am still 'on duty' and it has burned me out!

[mimi]

If it was me I wouldn't do it. I know the early starts would really contribute to burn out and it would disrupt my family's routine too much as our day starts an hour later. Being constantly exhausted will definitely take it's toll emotionally and physically. Don't feel bad for doing what is right for you, your family and your business.

[Other Mummy]

Personally, that schedule would burn me out. What time are you closed? Will you be working 12 hour days? For me no amount of extra fees are worth it. If it was me, I would continue to advertise until I found someone whose hours fit my daycare and who was going to be potentially a long term client as opposed to someone who only needs care until June.

[playfelt]

I do early starts but I roll out of bed just before. I am dressed but that is it. The child comes in and plays - comes fed. I eat my breakfast, check emails, get my daughter up, dressed and fed. I do all of the things I would be doing anyways if child wasn't there.

I take the same approach at the end of the day in the sense that I start cooking supper, put in a tub of laundry - whatever I want to do.

My daycare day is the same as the school in the sense of 9am - 3:30 (morning snack to afternoon snack). Before and after that is freeplay and I am free to be a mom in my house. I am watching them of course but not interacting with them. I am on duty till pick up but that does not mean I am their entertainer till then.

[Inspired by Reggio]

Personally I would not have agreed to that early a start time in the first place unless I was willing to do it 'regularly' because sadly one thing I have learned over the course of my career is that the minute you say yes to 'special' before you know it it creeps into being 'normal' for the client ... so I do not do special!

Personally if I had concern this was going to cause burn out and so forth I would just say 'sorry but our initial agreement was X and I am happy to stick to that but if you cannot than we are going to sever the arrangement ~ I am willing to provide service during the notice period provided you are able to stay within the agreed upon hours ... otherwise they would loose their deposit for 'altering' the contract!

[Skysue]

It all depends on if the child will be going back to sleep, I have one currently who comes at 6:30 am twice a week but they go right back to sleep until 8:30am. I couldn't do it otherwise, I did have a child once come at 6 am first 2 months and it killed me.

[BlueRose]

but i know she doesn't have back up care so i felt bad backing out of the agreement with only a few weeks left for her to go back to work. I told her i would do the best i could but if it gets to be too much then i will let her know.

1. its not your fault she doesn't have back up care. its also not your fault that the dad changed jobs. that's there problem. they need to work out how to make it work for you.

2. you are not backing out of the agreement, she is changing it, therefore the agreement is voided. you have the right to say no without feeling guilty.

[Inspired by Reggio]

Bingo BlueRose!

[Momof4]

My hours are 7:30-5:00. I'm not willing to work any earlier or any later so I wouldn't have accepted this family. They are very lucky to have you Lilywildcat! Make sure they know it!

Since this is a short-term agreement you will hopefully survive it, but be strict with everything. I hope you have a good contract. You mentioned that they are providing you with a schedule in advance and my rule is that once my calendar is marked that is written in stone, no changes, payment is due as per the scheduled dates.

If you really find that you can't do it then give them the amount of termination notice you have in your contract and don't feel the least bit guilty. That's a business decision. You have to take care of yourself.