I have a pair of dcg's sisters, first week 17 mth old pretty much cried non stop. 3 year old seemed ok, but not really engaged. Second week 17mth old, has come around adjusted well, even cuddling with me. (not to mention that I happened to wean her from warm milk bottle habit before naptime, that very week) was a surprise from parents that very start day, and I had no idea?? Also 3 year old apparently had done the same, I did not comply. Same parents wanting me to limit 3 year old naps to 20-30 minutes. This past week 3 year old has given dad a real hard time at drop off. The friday before literally I delt with her screaming for almost an entire hour and a half after he left never have I experienced this before. So 3 year old is defently not adjusting well, not engaging in activities, very needy wanting me to do all activities for her, baby talking, and whinning that its too hard stacking blocks, puzzles, coloring etc... wanting me to do them for her. Dad is really struggling with being the authoritive figure at drop off allowing dgd to bargin, complain, etc... Yesturday she was being her typical defiant self, and refused to eat her lunch, which was made for her the previous week and she loved it. I send both parents an email notifying them of my concerns of her negative behaviours.,. which are not just limited to the defiant arrivals, jumping on furniture, bullying little ones, not engageing etc.. The childrens history as I know it, goes as is. Nanny, daycare provider, and now me in 6 mths. A lot of transition for them I realize. Parents tell me that they are shocked that her behaviour is so negative, as this has NEVER happened before. I say yes I have never had children not want to come to my dayhome, it is usually the total opposite and they kick and scream to stay. Dad phones me lastnight to voice his concerns and says that it maybe not the right "fit" as I do have a 2 week probationary period. Which these girls have missed 3 days due to illness in this time frame So he tells me that we will see how the next week or so goes and then judge things. I tell him that I am more than willing to put the effort into this and obviously it is going to take a little longer than I had expected for her to adjust. I Texted with mom back and forth today, as sisters are not in attendance, she confides in me telling me that dgd has never acted this way, and dgd sais she doesnt get any hugs or kisses, misses her friends from previous dayhome etc.. Yes I have been a little stand offish waiting for 3 year old to come to me, even offering her affection which she has declined Same 3 year old dcg also tells me that mommy and daddy allow us to jump on the couches at home, as I am telling her to sit on her tushy properly I am unsure as to what to do, I basically told mom that I would like to finish off the month as this is a huge financial setback for my family to fill 2 spots in 2 weeks She tells me that if it was up to them they would maintain myself as thier childcare giver, as they really do like me etc... etc... nothing I have done is wrong. My question is to everyone, would you allow your 3 year old to determine the path for thier own childcare needs based on thier feedback to thier parents. They are soley decideing to pull her out of my care from her reactions, stories, tantrums and transition to a new dayhome based on 9 days of care, missing 3 days off being sick. What if 3 year old comes around in the next 2 weeks and parents, say hey she's happy now we want to stay should I even consider it? what happens the next time she decides to protest on something she may not like at my dayhome.