Quote Originally Posted by Bookworm View Post
Daycare whisperer, I understand what you are saying, but we do not let her decide what stays and goes. Not once in my post did I say her reaction to us giving away things etc.. influenced our decision. I was merely stating that my daughter has attachment issues with objects that she shouldn't have attachments to. I would never let my daughter decide whether or not we got a new car. We are getting one, she will have to deal with the loss of our old car. That is the purpose of my OP... how to help her deal with her emotions.
I am just wondering if anyone else has experienced this and what they did to ease her concerns about "losing" (in her eyes) something we/she once had.
We do tell her that we, as the parents, decide what stays and goes, but that doesn't mean she has to like our decision.
Mimi... You are right. She is a very emotional little girl.
I have started hiding the fact that we get rid of stuff...however, since some of the stuff is her clothes that no longer fit, or some toys they no longer play with.... she does notice, and then I have to deal with her being upset about it. She doesn't have to see me give it away, she just has to notice its gone. I half joke with my husband that we have a hoarder in the making. My husband and I don't attach a lot of importance to "items" and we try to model to her that we are happy to give stuff away to help other people. Hopefully, she will outgrow it.
She is a part of the decision. She may not be able to keep everything but she gets you to "do" her about stuff after you let go of it. She's still in the game. You are hiding things from her so you don't upset her. If she truly doesn't get a say then toss or give away right in front of her and when she interjects herself tell her NO. Your wavering on this is what is causing her escalation. She's feeling you are weak and she's seizing the situation and interjecting herself.

She's a kid. Let her just be a kid. When she gets in adult business tell her to butt out. Don't hide it... don't reword it... do it right in front of her and tell her to "leave it". She doesn't get to decide, she doesn't get an attachment.

You are petting an unstable mindset and she is getting worse. Take it over NOW and release her from this anxiety. She's begging you to do that but you don't see it.