I think from now on at interviews for older children I will ask about which daycare they were in. As for the money part I know I can replace him since I have people asking about spots regularly. I just worked very hard at getting his younger brother used to being away from mom and being happy with me, don't want to have all that effort wasted which I know can be a downfall when its siblings that come. I was just looking for different approaches for dealing with the older one. Tomorrow is a new day and hopefully mom has talked some sence into him. I will take away priviliges and see if that works better with him.