Going badly and care hasn't even started!!

[FS2011]

Ok, so I'm having problems with a family that's been signed up since march but won't start full time until June. We are very different in parenting styles, the husband made me almost cry when making comments about my holiday closures, had problems with receiving the holding fees, getting paper work back and as well as recently finding the old care provider and getting a terrible reference for them!
I have anxiety and stress just thinking about Junes start date. I have a 30 day trial period and want to terminate with a courtesy of 2 weeks notice since they will be paying for all of June. I want to know how to advertise for the spot when I don't have actually spaces available? Id think if my parents seen an add they would ask and wonder since they know I'm full. I need the spot filled financially before terminating. Do I terminate based on a signed contract and trust all goes well?

[playfelt]

I can see the parents being very upset about paying a holding fee if you are not going to keep them. I know you have a 30 day trial but if you terminate during that trial period do you return the holding fee? I can see them thinking that you are very dishonest if you don't. There are plenty of online places to advertise and if you think about it why would your current parents be looking at childcare ads online unless they were looking for a new caregiver so that is probably a pretty safe place to advertise. Same thing for the new family. If they are looking online at ads then it is also possible they are looking to pull out too. You could also be honest with your current parents and say that you are having second thoughts. 30 days takes you to July. What if you advertised for August start date and then non of the families need to know who is leaving and the new family will just think it is another child. When it has been confirmed be it Aug, Sept, Oct whatever you can terminate the first family accordingly. It may mean dealing with them for longer than you wanted to but it will also help you save face.

[FS2011]

I should be clear, the holding fee was only Junes payment so really nothing extra. So they wouldn't be loosing anything that way. But your right about the online ads, thanks.

[Spixie33]

PERSONALLY...and this is just me....but I would probably terminate before this family even starts by telling them that I think it won't work out.
I am sooooo bad at confrontation and getting out of a bad care situation when you are already in it...as well as affecting the kids by pulling them is just too stressful. I find it easier to say no right at the get go ( with a lot of thought and troubled sleep) before I get to know the family and kids better and start feeling guilty.
I think it is better to heed warning signs, pull out and advertise for a new family.
If you say that you have different parenting styles then you are probably going to have ongoing friction. Ideally you want people who are similar in style to what you practise.
I would tell them that you think you are not a good match for them and that in the long run you feel like it probably won't work out.
That is what I would do but I don't depend 100% financially on my daycare so it is probably a different situation based on what you can afford and whether you can afford the space to be empty until you find a new family.
Good luck. I think it is important to listen to your gut and imagining whether you will be happy in the long run

[Sunflower]

I also recommend you stop this before it goes anywhere. If you are already having doubts and getting attitude from the Dad, trust me when I say it will NOT get better.
Save yourself the trouble : )

[FS2011]

Great thanks everyone. Any tips on having this talk? At drop off the next day, or pick up or call at home in the evening? Written letter paired with etc??

[Emilys4Guppies]

If they haven't started care yet then how will you see them at pick up or drop off? I would do it at drop off so that if they react badly they are going home anyway.

[FS2011]

Well June 1st is tomorrow so drop off is tomorrow and also the start of full time care.
Thanks very much.

[Emilys4Guppies]

Oh! Forgive my misreading! My mind is gone...I can't believe tomorrow is JUNE!

Hmmmm, that might change my mind then. I would probably wait two weeks, unless ANY incident comes up between now and then. If anything comes up then I would give my notice during that conversation. My care has a 24 hour notice clause for the first month and I would definitely utilize that. Otherwise, at the end of two weeks I'd say, "Sorry, it's just not a good fit." and end it then.

[Judy Trickett]

Why are you allowing them to even START care?? Honey, it is YOUR business. YOU are YOUR OWN BOSS.

You owe them NOTHING if they are acting like asshats. Call them up, tell them it's off and refund the deposit.

If I had problems with a family BEFORE they even started they would NOT be starting.