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  1. #41
    Euphoric !
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    We've all had difficult children in our daycares DisneyPrincess. We can't just let them run amok! Rules have to be followed or the inmates will take over the asylum and we'll be the ones who go insane. You have a right to be super angry, you are well rid of this parent and child if they are not on the same page with you for raising a well behaved child and I'm sure you will find a better family.

    Now you know something you have to watch out for in your next interview and you've learned a lesson about something you will not tolerate in the future. I learned these lessons too and it certainly made me a better and more honest interviewer. Which helps weed out the families that are going to cause me grief before I even consider signing them on. Sometimes people will fool you but I wish you better luck with the next clients.

    Shake it off as best you can and have a great weekend. It's for the best. Envision your days ahead WITHOUT this family and you should feel better.
    Frederick Douglass
    It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.

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  3. #42
    Euphoric !
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    Aw, Disney; that STINKS and I am so disgusted right now.
    As the others have said, do not allow this woman's poor behaviour affect you. She is acting just as badly as the child (huh, wonder where little girl gets it from??).
    Have a great weekend, despite this setback!!!

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  5. #43
    Euphoric ! Inspired by Reggio's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DisneyPrincess View Post
    .....She made excuses that its before at 3 she doesnt know what is going on, she's expressing herself cause doesnt know how else, she's upset she cant stay home with mom ...... HUM I'VE HAD OTHER 3 y.o. and they were not THAT angry inside !! ...
    I have had clients in the past who have tried to 'excuse' VERY POOR BEHAVIOR of their child and my response is 'yes I empathize there is always a reason WHY but that is not the point we are discuss here ~ the point is that REGARDLESS OF WHY the behavior being exhibited right here is unacceptable and our goal as caring adults is to help her understand that regardless of being tired, sick, missing her daddy, getting teeth, her sock being crooked, etc etc etc we NEVER hit, yell, scream or act rudely to another human being ... it is our job to teach the child RESILIENCE that yes that sucks but there are socially acceptable ways to deal with it!

    Now that said ~ I would never force a child to hug, kiss or show affection to another adult even their parent because well that just sets poor precedent to the message that 'no means no' that we try to instill later in life so to speak that could come back to turn a child into a 'victim' of thinking it is ok for an adult to force physical affection on another

    However if the child had been RUDE about communicating that they were not in the mood for affection I would have just corrected her choice of words "Wow Sally that is very rude way to talk to mommy ~ if you are needing some space and do not want a hug or kiss you just tell mommy 'no thank you I need some space right now'"and left it at that.
    Children construct their own intelligence. The adult must provide activities and context, but most of all must be able to listen. Children need proof that adults believe in them. Their three great desires are to be listened to, to understand, and to demonstrate that they are exactly what we expect."
    Loris Malaguzzi

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  7. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by DisneyPrincess View Post
    She made excuses that its before at 3 she doesnt know what is going on, she's expressing herself cause doesnt know how else, she's upset she cant stay home with mom ...... HUM I'VE HAD OTHER 3 y.o. and they were not THAT angry inside!
    What the Mom needs to GET is that YOU are EXPRESSING yourself. She wants the child to express herself because she doesn't know how else... and that is EXACTLY what you are doing. She's raising her to be an expresser of herself but doesn't want to accept YOU expressing YOURSELF????

    The issues isn't whether she EXPRESSES herself it's HOW she expresses herself. You are expressing your feelings in a calm, nice, thoughtful way. The child needs to do the same.
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  9. #45
    Outgoing DisneyPrincess's Avatar
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    Yes I realized that I should of told her to kiss mommy Well in any case, even if I would of said that acting like that was ''hurtfull'' to mommy, mom would of acting the same way : defending her daughter, arguing with me on the action and give her 2 weeks. My husband thinks they probably had it in mind already, since it was so quick to act like that.

    The father pick her up and as she was all happy in the daycare, as always, as soon as she crossed the door to see him in the entrance, she pushed him away and didnt want to get dressed. I let it go and will never speak to this to these parents again for the next too weeks. I will still be nice : Hi Bye Have a good day. That is all !!! Father is going away so I wont see him, so he just thanked me for my services and they always appreciated the favors of opening late for them and understanding. That said, I wished him luck.

    I have only little girl starting in two weeks, was already planned, and got another request already, fingers crossed !

    Case closed... next

  10. #46
    Starting to feel at home...
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    I have a dcb who is great all day with me, listens well but the minute mom steps on to pickup, wow!!! He turns into a little crazy hooligan while she waits at the door and does nothing to calm him down. He gets so upset and runs off to the point that I can't even control him and wonder why the heck mom doesn't just grab him and take him home!!! What do I do? She doesn't see it as an issue, just thinks he is being silly meanwhile I want to just say "take your kid and leave already" it makes me look bad as a provider because I honestly cannot control this child because he goes nuts!!!! Help

  11. #47
    Starting to feel at home...
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    It comes down to bad parenting. No matter what advice or whatever we share with parents, they are still going to do things their own way. They pay us to look after their children while they are away, not teach them how to parent. I have a separate coat room and I escort the child to and from that room at drop offs and pick ups. If a child was tantruming I would intervene and say time to say goodbye, mummy has to go to work and say goodbye and leave the coat room. Parent gets the point. At pick up if child is rude or misbehaving I intervene and say something of the jist, "You're not listening very well, so I'm going back in the house now, see you next day." I leave the coat room , shut the door behind me and let the parent deal with their child. The child has been told, the parent has been shown that I believe they need to get control over their child and I'm not going to waste my time standing around watching. I used to stay in the coat room even when children were misbehaving until I had a mum of twins come back on a Monday and say that when I told the kids to stop misbehaving and get their stuff on and go home like they were asked it upset them so much it was a whole weekend of tantruming and misbehaviour. Yes, she blamed me being firm with the children for their whole weekend!! Crazy!! So from then on I say my piece and then leave the room.

  12. #48
    Shy
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    Regina
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    It's a test. They are seeing what they can get away with. As long as they are in my home, they follow my rules. I check with parents to see what behaviour is going on at home and school. You'd be surprised the look a kid gives you when you mention something that didn't happen at daycare and that you know all about it. Children need to be taught that if you can't do it at one place, you can't do it anywhere. Parents are amazed and always ask me how I do it. One word: Consistency. If you can't do it here Monday, don't try it on Tuesday. I've even had some kids who act up at the hometime who I put in timeout while their parents waited. I should mention that if I have a child who is acting up, the parents is notified ahead of time. The child sees that it may be hometime but your parents aren't going to help you if you're misbehaving.

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