''Discipline'' the child when parents are there ?

[Inspired by Reggio]

.....She made excuses that its before at 3 she doesnt know what is going on, she's expressing herself cause doesnt know how else, she's upset she cant stay home with mom ...... HUM I'VE HAD OTHER 3 y.o. and they were not THAT angry inside !! ...

I have had clients in the past who have tried to 'excuse' VERY POOR BEHAVIOR of their child and my response is 'yes I empathize there is always a reason WHY but that is not the point we are discuss here ~ the point is that REGARDLESS OF WHY the behavior being exhibited right here is unacceptable and our goal as caring adults is to help her understand that regardless of being tired, sick, missing her daddy, getting teeth, her sock being crooked, etc etc etc we NEVER hit, yell, scream or act rudely to another human being ... it is our job to teach the child RESILIENCE that yes that sucks but there are socially acceptable ways to deal with it!

Now that said ~ I would never force a child to hug, kiss or show affection to another adult even their parent because well that just sets poor precedent to the message that 'no means no' that we try to instill later in life so to speak that could come back to turn a child into a 'victim' of thinking it is ok for an adult to force physical affection on another

However if the child had been RUDE about communicating that they were not in the mood for affection I would have just corrected her choice of words "Wow Sally that is very rude way to talk to mommy ~ if you are needing some space and do not want a hug or kiss you just tell mommy 'no thank you I need some space right now'"and left it at that.