''Discipline'' the child when parents are there ?

[DisneyPrincess]

Wow you ladies have guts... I need to figure out what to do, cause it pisses me off seeing kids like that. sorry the language. And not just here, at the store or restaurant or others places. Watching Supernanny boils me to see parents gets treated that way and let it happen.

I have guts with everything else, getting parents to pay me on time, pick up on time, children listening to me all day, but the ''parents you cant control you kids, let me help you and show you how its done'' part LOL kindda hard. I feel I would be rude to the parents but I get your point ladies. My house, my rules !

[Inspired by Reggio]

.... but the ''parents you cant control you kids, let me help you and show you how its done'' part LOL kindda hard. I feel I would be rude to the parents but I get your point ladies. My house, my rules !

Just imagine us all standing behind you with our best Supernanny glare pose of 'you're the boss here ~ they really NEED this assertiveness from you to thrive both the children and the parents'

My clients have always been thankful of parenting advice and tips ~ I typically do not offer it unless truly needed basically keep my nose out of their parenting unless it is affecting their child's ability to cope in the program and counter conducive to the goals we have set together for their child or I see they are visibly struggling with a child or if they are 'venting' to me about issues at home and than always approach it professionally 'I can see you are struggling have you ever considered trying ...' or 'I empathize with how frustrated you are have you ever tried ...' followed by my suggestion of what I have seen work to correct those issues they are having.

[daycarewhisperer]

Wow you ladies have guts... I need to figure out what to do, cause it pisses me off seeing kids like that. sorry the language. And not just here, at the store or restaurant or others places. Watching Supernanny boils me to see parents gets treated that way and let it happen.

I have guts with everything else, getting parents to pay me on time, pick up on time, children listening to me all day, but the ''parents you cant control you kids, let me help you and show you how its done'' part LOL kindda hard. I feel I would be rude to the parents but I get your point ladies. My house, my rules !

It's not guts for me. It's only that I'm willing to give up the money. Once all of us are clear that I'm willing to give up the money then a choice has to be made.... follow my rules and my expectations or scoot on down the road to find someone who either needs the money or it doesn't hurt their heart to see violence. That aint me.

[kidlove]

I do agree in part with you too whisper, many parents do it for many diferent reasons, some for the reasons above talked about, I do feel some do chose not to discipline due to the guilt they feel for going off to work everyday, and what has not been mentioned is perhaps the worst of them all, the parent who you defined, the parent who truly feels that IF they discipline their child it send a message to the child that they don't love them....these parents are the kind that do anything in their power to make their child smile and stay happy all day, even when it is at the expense of others including themselves, these are perhaps the worst of all, because they are raising their child to be a selfcentered.."do for me because I am the only one that matters" kinf of person...... that is the one that gets me the most upset! I call it "creating a monster" i always mention gently to these parents that "their child will only be cute for so long" even they will get tired of the behavior at some point, and by them? it will be too late!

[bright sparks]

I do agree in part with you too whisper, many parents do it for many diferent reasons, some for the reasons above talked about, I do feel some do chose not to discipline due to the guilt they feel for going off to work everyday, and what has not been mentioned is perhaps the worst of them all, the parent who you defined, the parent who truly feels that IF they discipline their child it send a message to the child that they don't love them....these parents are the kind that do anything in their power to make their child smile and stay happy all day, even when it is at the expense of others including themselves, these are perhaps the worst of all, because they are raising their child to be a selfcentered.."do for me because I am the only one that matters" kinf of person...... that is the one that gets me the most upset! I call it "creating a monster" i always mention gently to these parents that "their child will only be cute for so long" even they will get tired of the behavior at some point, and by them? it will be too late!

The people who raise their children like this will have a reason for doing so. It doesn't make it right, but it doesn't mean they can correct all of their behaviours over night. Things to factor in are how they were raised, childhood trauma among many others. A child raised with lots of physical discipline and shaming for example may subconsciously have this fuelling their need to please their child for fear of them feeling the same upset that they did. There is far more involved in how we parent our kids than just being selfish or shallow or doing the easiest most convenient thing and for everyone, don't think for one minute you have a clue what's going on behind closed doors. While it doesn't apply to everyone, there are many parents suffering depression, marriage instabilities, financial issues etc etc and while this isn't a good enough excuse for raising "a monster",it's still a reason. I think there obviously has to be boundaries on how much you do but I feel these parents still deserve compassion and guidance and honesty. Maybe a person doesn't want to hear the truth but its part of the process. Eventually it will click, or maybe it won't but I don't begin to pretend that I know why these people are the way they are with their children but an honest open conversation is definitely a good starting point. Otherwise if you don't want to invest this extra part of you, then terminate. They aren't going to change and your not going to be any help keeping quiet and saying nothing. (This isn't directed at anyone specifically btw)

[kidlove]

if I let every child who hit once go...i don't think I would have any kids left. ha ha! isn't it human nature to learn from mistakes, and isn't it fact that children don't know better, we have to correct the bad and teach the good.

[bright sparks]

if I let every child who hit once go...i don't think I would have any kids left. ha ha! isn't it human nature to learn from mistakes, and isn't it fact that children don't know better, we have to correct the bad and teach the good.

Exactly!!