''Discipline'' the child when parents are there ?

[DisneyPrincess]

You know the worst part is that I was going to stay open later for her alone for the next 2 MONTHS since dad is in the Army (with extra cost of course) but when they signed up it was suppose to be 1 week outta 3 months typa-thing and last sumer it was also a month and a half... and I let it go. Putting up with that little girl's attitude outside my work hours... seriously !!

Plus the mother always has a harder time with her then dad does. She always comes here overwhelmed especially when dad is aways and she must deal with her daughter on her own : YOU WOULD THINK SHE WOULD OF ACCEPTED THE EXTRA HELP AND SUPPORT.

This morning she wanted a kiss before leaving and the daughter says : NO !!! How rude is that you accept to start your day with your child rejecting you :O Even if the child is mad for you going to work, thats no reason.

She made excuses that its before at 3 she doesnt know what is going on, she's expressing herself cause doesnt know how else, she's upset she cant stay home with mom ...... HUM I'VE HAD OTHER 3 y.o. and they were not THAT angry inside !!

In this thread there is a argument with parent feeling guilty or more lazy : I THINK ITS BOTH !

Well good luck to her, she will quickly find out that there is NO daycare spaces available anywhere but quite a drive from here !!

It was though approach for a friday morning, I shouldnt have brought it up and waited next week I guess, oh too late now. I will do a fresh start with new comers of course, this is sure a learning experience, just so chitty it affects our fincances, unless by chance I get phone calls A.S.A.P. !!

[Inspired by Reggio]

.....She made excuses that its before at 3 she doesnt know what is going on, she's expressing herself cause doesnt know how else, she's upset she cant stay home with mom ...... HUM I'VE HAD OTHER 3 y.o. and they were not THAT angry inside !! ...

I have had clients in the past who have tried to 'excuse' VERY POOR BEHAVIOR of their child and my response is 'yes I empathize there is always a reason WHY but that is not the point we are discuss here ~ the point is that REGARDLESS OF WHY the behavior being exhibited right here is unacceptable and our goal as caring adults is to help her understand that regardless of being tired, sick, missing her daddy, getting teeth, her sock being crooked, etc etc etc we NEVER hit, yell, scream or act rudely to another human being ... it is our job to teach the child RESILIENCE that yes that sucks but there are socially acceptable ways to deal with it!

Now that said ~ I would never force a child to hug, kiss or show affection to another adult even their parent because well that just sets poor precedent to the message that 'no means no' that we try to instill later in life so to speak that could come back to turn a child into a 'victim' of thinking it is ok for an adult to force physical affection on another

However if the child had been RUDE about communicating that they were not in the mood for affection I would have just corrected her choice of words "Wow Sally that is very rude way to talk to mommy ~ if you are needing some space and do not want a hug or kiss you just tell mommy 'no thank you I need some space right now'"and left it at that.

[DisneyPrincess]

Yes I realized that I should of told her to kiss mommy Well in any case, even if I would of said that acting like that was ''hurtfull'' to mommy, mom would of acting the same way : defending her daughter, arguing with me on the action and give her 2 weeks. My husband thinks they probably had it in mind already, since it was so quick to act like that.

The father pick her up and as she was all happy in the daycare, as always, as soon as she crossed the door to see him in the entrance, she pushed him away and didnt want to get dressed. I let it go and will never speak to this to these parents again for the next too weeks. I will still be nice : Hi Bye Have a good day. That is all !!! Father is going away so I wont see him, so he just thanked me for my services and they always appreciated the favors of opening late for them and understanding. That said, I wished him luck.

I have only little girl starting in two weeks, was already planned, and got another request already, fingers crossed !

Case closed... next

[daycarewhisperer]

She made excuses that its before at 3 she doesnt know what is going on, she's expressing herself cause doesnt know how else, she's upset she cant stay home with mom ...... HUM I'VE HAD OTHER 3 y.o. and they were not THAT angry inside!

What the Mom needs to GET is that YOU are EXPRESSING yourself. She wants the child to express herself because she doesn't know how else... and that is EXACTLY what you are doing. She's raising her to be an expresser of herself but doesn't want to accept YOU expressing YOURSELF????

The issues isn't whether she EXPRESSES herself it's HOW she expresses herself. You are expressing your feelings in a calm, nice, thoughtful way. The child needs to do the same.