''Discipline'' the child when parents are there ?

[DisneyPrincess]

OMG I did it ladies ! Thanks to your awesome advice, before parents arrive I had a tiny chats with the children. Even thought the 2 y.o. didnt quite understand me, I said : Now when mommy and daddy arrives, you are going to be extra nice with mommy and daddy and get dressed ! -- When parents arrived : the 3 y.o. was all over the place, I did my best ... but daddy was sitting on the ground getting her dressed, she kept falling on him for fun and well it wasnt the best scenario but she did look at me constantly.. worried.. lolll - And one little girl was spinning around not wanted to get dressed, I said TO EVERYONE : Girls remember what we talked about, we stay nice and get dresse right ?? she looked at me, I looked at her and said, listen to mommy and go get dressed... SHE DID I WAS SO PROUD OF MYSELF.

We have been inside all week so kids are so hyper, but tomorrow friday, last day and hope pick up goes as well or even better

[kidlove]

Good for you! Just remember....YOU ARE THE ONE IN CHARGE! and if you don't like what the child is doing in your home OR the parent isn't doing enough? you have the right to step in and if the parent doesn't like it....there's the door.

I had one little guy kick his Mom and scream at the front door, when I realized all the other kids were watching him throw his fit...I put a stop to it fast, I looked right at him and said "you act like that, you leave my house!" opened the door and pointed outside, Mother followed. as I closed the door, I pleasantly shouted, "see you tomorrow" and closed the door. wanted to make sure EVERYONE understood, that doesn't happen in my house!

[mom-in-alberta]

Great job!!

[DisneyPrincess]

OMG LADIES THIS MORNING TOTALLY BACKFIRED ON ME ; the 3 y.o. girl was rude to her mother this morning, I SAID : REMEMBER WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT YESTURDAY, WE STAY NICE TO MOMMY IN THE MORNING.. the brat started crying, her mom was shocked when I told her my new way of ''no negativity'' and its been months that I try so hard with her and you know what, yesturday went great !! WELL AFTER A LONG ARGUMENT THAT ITS NORMAL FOR HER TO ACT THAT WAY AND SHE IS JUST EXPRESSING HERSELF AND MOTHER FEELS GUILTY SO... SHE DIDNT AGREE WITH ME, ALTHOUGH SHE ONLY HAD A FEW MONTHS LEFT SHE JUST GAVE ME HER 2 WEEKS NOTICE !!!!!

I SAID FINE ITS TOO BAD YOU FEEL THAT WAY, IVE BEEN TRYING SO HARD TO HELP AND UNDERSTAND HER AND.... YOU KNOW WHAT I ACCEPT YOUR TWO WEEKS NOTICE IN WRITING THEN.

IM FUMMMIIINNNNGGGG !!!

[Inspired by Reggio]

Oh wow ~ that totally sucks Disney ... I personally would not let the experience stop me from standing up for myself ~ if she feels the need to terminate because you are now going to be expecting socially acceptable behavior from her child than it is time for them to go ... just because a behaviour is a 'developmentally appropriate' does not mean that we need to CONDONE it because it is not socially acceptable behaviour to express yourself by SCREAMING AND CRYING!

I will admit that this is the one of the reasons why I do not allow behavior like that to 'start' in the first place because if you allow it to start without addressing it with a client you sort of reach that point of no return with clients where when you finally DO stand up for yourself that they get MAD because from their perspective you are now 'reneging' on some agreement you had at least in their mind that this was allowable and now suddenly it is not ... they feel like they are getting ripped off by having new expectations thrust upon them and so forth

Even when the behavior is so totally socially unacceptable ~ I have seen cases of poor providers where a client who was constantly bouncing checks, being late with payments and so forth doing things no 'business' would have tolerated and the provider finally stood up and the client tried to BLAME THE PROVIDER for being unreasonable ... some people just have such a very skewed sense of 'entitlement' it is sad!

[mimi]

Disney you were proud of yourself yesterday for standing up for good behaviour in your home. Continue to be proud of this stance. This mother showed poor parenting. Instead of following your lead to get her child to behave, she made excuses for her child and terminated. That is an adults angry sulk. Very immature. She has the 'no one tells me what to do" attitude. Well happily let her go and look for alternate care. Good riddance.

[Inspired by Reggio]

Agreed Mimi ~ in fact I would take it one step further that the mother demonstrated the exact behavior you were trying to correct in her daughter ... life handed her a choice she did not like and instead of approaching it with dignity and accepting that this is your home and she needs to respect and follow your lead within it she has thrown her own TANTRUM

[kidlove]

yuck! this is a prime example of poor parenting and you pay the price. I have had the same thing happen to me before, don't blame yourself, if anything don't let the poor behavior start in the first place, as reggio said! and maybe rethink your interviewing process as well, make sure you include some sort of "behavior expectations" right off the get go! Inform parents and child the behavior that is expected upon drop off and pick up...that way, it's all in the open. You won't throw anyone any surprises, by allowing it one day and putting your foot down the next. Unacceptable behavior is unacceptable behavior no matter what, if that Mom can't handle it, she needs to quit her job and let her daughter walk all over her in private. What does she expect you to do, just sit there and watch her kid misbehave in your home, and say nothing? as one of the others here always says........NEXT!!!!

[DisneyPrincess]

You know the worst part is that I was going to stay open later for her alone for the next 2 MONTHS since dad is in the Army (with extra cost of course) but when they signed up it was suppose to be 1 week outta 3 months typa-thing and last sumer it was also a month and a half... and I let it go. Putting up with that little girl's attitude outside my work hours... seriously !!

Plus the mother always has a harder time with her then dad does. She always comes here overwhelmed especially when dad is aways and she must deal with her daughter on her own : YOU WOULD THINK SHE WOULD OF ACCEPTED THE EXTRA HELP AND SUPPORT.

This morning she wanted a kiss before leaving and the daughter says : NO !!! How rude is that you accept to start your day with your child rejecting you :O Even if the child is mad for you going to work, thats no reason.

She made excuses that its before at 3 she doesnt know what is going on, she's expressing herself cause doesnt know how else, she's upset she cant stay home with mom ...... HUM I'VE HAD OTHER 3 y.o. and they were not THAT angry inside !!

In this thread there is a argument with parent feeling guilty or more lazy : I THINK ITS BOTH !

Well good luck to her, she will quickly find out that there is NO daycare spaces available anywhere but quite a drive from here !!

It was though approach for a friday morning, I shouldnt have brought it up and waited next week I guess, oh too late now. I will do a fresh start with new comers of course, this is sure a learning experience, just so chitty it affects our fincances, unless by chance I get phone calls A.S.A.P. !!

[kidlove]

live and learn disney. There is the biggest down fall I have realized of having your own business......someti mes you are great financially and some times down in the dumps....what goes up must come down and vice versa. hold out for a great family cut back a little on expenses and be glad for the good families and kids you have. good luck! and take a relaxing weekend off!