Pushing SOS

[mom-in-alberta]

When children are wee and misbehave like that I would first stop the behave, I would hold the pusher hand in place so they cannot leave but I will first give all my attention to the child who was pushed 'oh look at your poor face ~ that made you sad lets dry those tears. Your friends should not push you ... tell your friend 'ouch don't push me' so the pusher is hearing the corrective message of empathy to look and see that the child is crying and sad what they did was WRONG but the attention is all focused on the injured child and not them they get no 'attention reward' for having pushed... than once the wee one who was pushed is in a good place and playing I than direct my attention to the pusher and just redirect the pusher to things they CAN push and give them attention for doing what I WANT ... yes that's right we push the car not our friends!

This is good to remember. It is so natural to focus on the hitter/pusher, but very often they ARE just looking for attention (any attention!).

[Spixie33]

So here is what happened after naptime....

I took your advice Reggio and held Child A's hand while being uber comforting and nice to Child C and his crying after getting pushed.

It went well and Child A looked confused and thoughtful.

Then the rest of the afternoon Child C would cry for every little thing and bump expecting the same reaction

LOL

I will have to work on this again tomorrow and see what happens.

BTW - anyone have any good advice to do about the excessive hugging that child C does to child B? He really goes after her and hugs and won't let go and then she gets away and he goes after her again for more hugs. I think it is a case of puppy love or something but poor child B is frustrated and so am I.

Child c does not seem to understand the idea of 'hands to yourself' and he isn't really doing something I can punish him for that much but Child B does end up crying often times because all the hugging gets too much for her.