Difficult parents

[giraffe]

I agree with Play and Learn, I think that your time with this family is done. Sometimes it is in the best interest of both parties to part ways. It is not ok for them to be harsh enough with you that it requires an appoligy. Have you considered the thought that maybe they are ready to look for other care but do not want to hurt your feelings?

You will be a better provider without this stress. It may be difficult, but I think its time to part ways.

[busybee]

I have had to terminate 2 families in my time. One was because she worked right next door at the time and her and her family were constantly dropping in and disrupting this child would cry every time also she never let me know what time she was coming and because of this she had to keep her son with her for a hour as i was out grocery shopping and when she brought him she as much as told me i was expected to be there when she needed me which
h I would have been had she communicated instead of just expecting me to be at her beckoning call lol

The second was more recent ,1st warning was 1 for bullying. Then a 2nd warning for non communication of schedule the final straw was another schedule issue.I tried very hard to work with her her schedule was very hit and miss and i simply asked of her please call me no later then Sunday and let me know if you need hours in the up coming week. After a while it became clear it just was not going to work and i asked her to find another provider better suited to her needs.Would you believe she phoned a few weeks after this stating she would be needing care probably soon as she may get some hours I simply replied sorry I am full . She still owes me 1 day pay but you and i both know i will never see it .Wish we could have a place to post dead beat parents that rip off care provider lol

[disbrina]

See I thought that is what the parent registry was for. If I have a great parent I put them in the registry too. So other providers can search their info and be aware of issues or with parents that are golden.

With regards to the My parent issues. I may have finally got a break threw. They did just recently ask me to help them with the potty training. I have asked them at the beginning of the month what they wanted to do and had no response. Then finally last week they asked if I could put him on the potty more. I offered to use my training underwear ( I just finished training my twins) then keep my underwear hear and I would just wash them with my laundry. They agreed.

I do think that the father is looking for other care. Their child comes here Tuesday threw Friday 7:30 till 4:00pm. He has said to me at one point that he could take his child to another home for the same price he was paying me and get Monday to Friday full time. Stupid thing is that is how much I was charging them. I told him this and he could not argue. However the mom doesn't want to have him under the care of a stranger. What i may have to do is just deal with her on any issues even though he is the one who does pick up and drop off. However I do agree that If I get one more outburst I will be writing them a letter of termination. It doesn't matter if I am family or not there is no need to yell at me cause you are having other issues. I have kept everything professional as I could.

[Tot-Time]

I agree it is the parent's responsibility to ensure that the child is able to participate in the daycare activities.

What often I do because often parents will forget mittens, hats, etc, is I allow parents to store extras here in their cubbies. That way it ensures that if the parents forget then I have a back up set. I approach it with the parents that when we are playing outside in the mornings our outerwear gets wet and it is nice for the children if we have a dry set for the afternoon.

I know it is hard because it is a family member and you have to consider family dynamics too. I don't know what I would do in your situation. What about trying to organize all your thoughts and concerns in a letter, then sitting down with both the Mom and Dad (even your hubby if you think it will help), and then covering the issues without emotion. If you take all the emotion out of the equation, it might be easier for the family to accept facts.

I don't do well with meetings. Usually for me, by the time it gets to where a meeting would be necessary, it doesn't work out.

But, I have had a friend just before Christmas have a situation with her cousin and they managed to meet and work through everything and the cousin's child is still in childcare. She had a successful meeting and followed through with a letter of what they discussed.

[whatdoiknow]

It's funny how being a daycare provider we don't deserve respect. I love my children including the children that are not mine. All I ever ask from my parents is some respect you give that to me and I will work with your schedule. I have one parent who thinks I can make a lot of money running a daycare. I don't know about the rest of you, but for me I have a limit of children I can have in my care. Its not only the safetly but emotionaly, having too many kids it is exshausting, and I don't feel like a good parent to my own kids because I can't even spend time with them.
I have only told 1 family they couldn't come back and it was really hard, but I felt that I was rushed into it and I found out the little girl didn't speak english. I was having a sucha hard time with her especially since she was never listneing to me, well know I know. The parents would also drop her off when ever they wanted. I only gave them 1 month I couldn't do it anymore.
I have a daycare for my kids so I can be with them, I understand parents work outside the home for theyre family I would really like parents to understand that I work too and it is hard work Ihave bad days and good days, i wouldn't trade them in I want to be withmy kids I wantto see them grow up. I just want respect.

[disbrina]

Thank you for all the support.

I have to agree it was a hard decision to make you were right in saying it was better to part. I did end up giving them one month notice. They still seem to fight me on some contract things. In fact are now stating that I voided my end of the contract because I had to find alternate care when I took my son to an apt. They were advised that my references were my back up care for when I had apt. But apparently seem to forget that i had back up care. I am glad that in one month i wont have to deal with them anymore. I was lucky i kept a back up list of parents looking for spots. The agreed i could keep them on my email list in case things opened up. I emailed all of them and now have 2 interviews. I have not even have to post the position yet. I feel a big sense of relief.

[Play and Learn]

I emailed all of them and now have 2 interviews. I have not even have to post the position yet. I feel a big sense of relief.

Just want to say Congrats to you! Good luck with your new parents and kids.
Another little tidbit: in each section of my manual, I get the parents to initial that they read EACH section. I keep the copy with the initials, and if they don't like something, I pull out that manual and say, 'well, you initialed, so you read it and agreed to it'!

I've haven't had to use this for my daycare, but for my dance school! It saves my 'ass' every time! And they can't fight you on it!!!!

[disbrina]

That is a really good idea, having them initial the major sections. My problem with the parents that had to terminate was that I had given them 3 copies of their contract. They kept loosing it. They were just trying to get out of the contract any way they could. Unfortunately with being a day home. I would not have the resources to go after them. Yes i could have gone to small claims court. But that takes up a lot of time. I have now put in my contract under the termination spot. If you cancel and have a remaining balance outstanding. I will not send you out tax information for the tax year. You will not be able to use it as a tax write off. I have not had any problems since I put that in my contract.

[Play and Learn]

That is a really good idea, having them initial the major sections. My problem with the parents that had to terminate was that I had given them 3 copies of their contract. They kept loosing it.

This is why YOU - the childcare provider - keep the initialed copy (from each and every parent). I email my contracts to the parents. If they want to print it out, they can.

[Emilys4Guppies]

That is a really good idea, having them initial the major sections. My problem with the parents that had to terminate was that I had given them 3 copies of their contract. They kept loosing it. They were just trying to get out of the contract any way they could. Unfortunately with being a day home. I would not have the resources to go after them. Yes i could have gone to small claims court. But that takes up a lot of time. I have now put in my contract under the termination spot. If you cancel and have a remaining balance outstanding. I will not send you out tax information for the tax year. You will not be able to use it as a tax write off. I have not had any problems since I put that in my contract.

Perhaps I'm wrong, and have watched just a little too much Judge Judy (LOL), but I don't think you can legally withhold their receipts for the services they have already paid for if they were under the assumption that they would get receipts. They could claim that income and use your name/address instead of reciepts and you would likely be audited for the unclaimed income. I know you haven't utilized that rule yet, but just my thoughts.