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  1. #1
    Shy
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    Difficult parents

    Has anyone had issues with difficult parents? I am currently trying to find a better way to communicate with parents of mine that are being difficult. I dont want to have to terminate them yet i feel they are not communicating with me well. If i do try to talk to them about their child, they seem to interpret it is as telling them what to do. Rather than a general concern or interest in his well-being and development.

    I think the biggest concern I have is that they are also my husbands cousin. I made them sign a contract just like all the rest of my parents but even my husband is at a point that if they cause one more problem he wants them gone.

    Any suggestions?

  2. #2
    Euphoric !
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    Being family you may simply need to remind them of the fact that just because you are related it has nothing to do with your daycare relationship and they are bound by the same rules as the other families which means failure to abide by the rules of the signed contract means their continuation in your daycare is in jeopardy. If it involves the child's behaviour or something they are doing or not doing then turn it around on them with the idea that child is not having a good time at daycare because they have to sit out when we have movement time because they don't have running shoes as required by the contract or missed out on whatever because. Put the blame back onto the parent but then it becomes an issue between parent and child they can fix and is no longer about you caught in the middle.

  3. #3
    Shy
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    Hi Disbrina,

    Putting the blame back on the parent does not sound like a right thing to do.(No offense playfelt, its just my opinion)
    I do not know what the specific issue is but I assume you are reasonable.
    If the parents are unreasonable, it is time to sit down and talk openly...no matter what the consequence is.
    Tell them that you mean well. Be reasonable, honest and frank.

  4. #4
    Shy
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    Ya i don't want to put blame back on the parent. There has been a number of issues that have been building with this parent. Over the last year.

    3 times I have had to pull out my contract and be firm with them. It is the fight that i don't want. The father ( who drops him off and picks him up cause mom doesn't drive) gets defensive when i try to mention his day or his development. He has in the past snapped at me and then apologized via facebook.

    It is hard for me to see a child that I care about suffering from silly mistakes. Like not bringing the proper gear and seeing his hands red raw cause it was minus 38- and the dad didn't put mits on him. Or His feet are freezing cause mom and dad don't bring boots after it snows and they know i have to take kids to school. or seeing a rash that the poor kid has had for months probably due to the diaper being to small.

    I have have had to write letters to parents that i have not had a problem with so the parents i do have problems with don't think i am trying to single them out. When do you draw the line and terminate? I have only had to terminate 1 parent before. And well, they weren't family. If it were my family i would have thrown them out by now. But they are my husbands cousin. Hence why i am trying to find some strategies to improve my communication.

  5. #5
    Starting to feel at home...
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    I have one parent who tries her best to get out of paying me for things like sick days, stat days, and if I send her kids home b/c they are sick (constantly sending the kids to me even if they are so sick that they should be at home). Also blaming my own children for behaviour difficluties she is experiancing with her kids at home.

  6. #6
    Shy
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    In my five years of daycare I have had to terminate 3 families. 2 were duie to the parents and not the child. One refused to sign my contract when I made some changes etc. He used to make sarcastic comments etc and the whole thing became uncomfortable. You need to be able to work as a team, parents and provider and if you can't and don't have good communication and you have done everything you can then maybe it is time to say good bye.

  7. #7
    Shy
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    The funny part is that my husband is ready to give them the boot too. I want to give them one more chance and if they try to push then they will be out. It is frustrating when the child is not the problem and it is the parents. I was just wondering if there was any ideas as to how to open up those lines of communication. I have tried email. Talking is obviously out. It seems the only way they want to talk to me is threw Facebook. But with that I never know if they have read my messages or just ignoring them. Or how often the actually go on Facebook.

  8. #8
    Shy
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    maybe let them know that you have some things to talk about and hand them directly a letter in which states everything you need and want to say. At the bottom you could write "please feel free to call me to discuss the above"

  9. #9
    Expansive... Play and Learn's Avatar
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    I think you've given them enough chances. It's your business, and they seem to be using you as you're family. I would put my foot down and say to them that they have one month to find another daycare for their child. It may sound harsh, but enough is enough!

  10. #10
    Euphoric !
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    Not bringing mittens or not having shoes for the child or dressing a toddler in pants so long they trip over them are the responsibilty of the parent to fix not mine as the caregiver and certainly not the child who is not old enough to pick out their clothes. What I mean by turning it back on the parent is trying to make the parent see that the parent's action or inaction is causing the child to suffer. Give suggestions on things that need to be changed and give the parent what the consequences will be - child without shoes will not be allowed to run and jump or will need to be in their bare feet rather than sock feet even if it winter temperatures for safety. It is my responsibiltiy to see that the child plays safely so if they don't have shoes then I have to ask them to sit out or cancel the activity for the entire group such as would happen if a child didn't bring a proper snowsuit, boots, etc.

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