Pushing and hitting

[sunnydays]

Seems like this Monday morning is crummy for many of us on here! I don't even normally get on my computer until naptime, but I need to vent! I have a 2 year old in my care (since September) who I have been working very hard with, but his behaviour has lately been getting worse and worse. He pushes constantly and hits sometimes. So far this morning he has pushed at least 6 times, hit my daughter in the face (almost hitting her wound that had to have stitches on the weekend), and hit a one year old with a doll stroller, then shoved a ride-on car with same one year old on it (he almost fell off). His mom is having a baby in March and he is supposed to stay here until end of May, but I am not sure I can last. I am worried that he is going to really hurt someone (especially after seeing how the skin can split open from a little trip and fall such as my daughter had on the weekend). I really don't want to terminate at this point because it would be so hard for his mom 2 months before giving birth and she has been trying to work with me on this. But I also don't feel I should live with the extra stress and take the risk of someone else getting hurt. Any suggestions??? I need help!

[playfelt]

Can you make a segregated corner somehow that he gets put into to play alone. And then only comes out when he can be one on one with you. It would be ideal if you could hold out for the next two months but I also get how easily kids get hurt and making his mom a bit angry is a lot better than making your other 4 families angry or worse.

What are his language skills like?

I am having a strange but nice morning - just not looking towards the afternoon. Only have three today and they are all asleep including the two year old who has been complaining of a sore tummy all morning. Guessing this is my quiet time for the day. Could be a very long afternoon.

[sunnydays]

Thanks Playfelt. I am thinking of making a quiet corner for him by moving some furniture or something. I have been watching him like a hawk and he had three time-outs this morning...after that he calmed down a fair amount and played with much less aggression. I will definitely think about an area where I can block off with furniture or gate off and let him play there when I can;t be right beside him. Maybe he'll get the point if he suddenly has to play alone. His language skills are quite good, so I know he understands (at least on the surface) that he shouldn't push, hit etc. He just doesn't control his impulses.

[JennJubie]

Could you try a reward system with him? If he likes stickers you could give him a sticker for a small amount of time that he goes without hitting or pushing. Start with 15 minutes and then slowly move up to 30 minutes. If he's still in the 'quiet corner' then he can come out after 5 or so stickers.

[sunnydays]

That's not a bad idea. I will think about a reward system...although the only thing is then everyone is going to want stickers...I guess I could give them all stickers since nobody else hits or pushes. I have been trying to use positive reinforcement, but it hasn't worked so far...maybe I am doing it wrong. If he is in the quiet corner, he will be alone, so not pushing would be a given, but I could see it maybe helping when he is playing with his friends.

Could you try a reward system with him? If he likes stickers you could give him a sticker for a small amount of time that he goes without hitting or pushing. Start with 15 minutes and then slowly move up to 30 minutes. If he's still in the 'quiet corner' then he can come out after 5 or so stickers.

[JennJubie]

If you want to do a reward system for the whole bunch, maybe instead of using stickers, you could try a visual good behavior bucket. Use a clear container, and every 15 minutes, put a scoop of corn kernals, rice, etc... into the bucket for every child that doesn't push. When the bucket is full they could all receive a reward.

[sunnydays]

I love this idea! And I think I could get away with doing it just for the over two's as the others won't understand anyway. So it would just be the three older kids. I could use stickers as rewards as they all love stickers. And the fact that the other two never push or hit, so will always get the reward, will probably encourage the other one to shape up

If you want to do a reward system for the whole bunch, maybe instead of using stickers, you could try a visual good behavior bucket. Use a clear container, and every 15 minutes, put a scoop of corn kernals, rice, etc... into the bucket for every child that doesn't push. When the bucket is full they could all receive a reward.

[Momof4]

With that behaviour I would be relentlessly putting the child in the timeout chair and talking to him about what he is doing wrong over and over until he breaks his bad habits. He sounds like he needs anger management. I had a really violent child like that in care in my first year in business and I lasted a couple of months, then terminated. But the parents were not helping, they thought she was perfect. If the parents are discliplining nonstop at home the way you do it at daycare it will work. If the parents don't help then terminate for sure. It won't work.

[sunnydays]

It seemed they were working on it, now what I am hearing is that he doesn't do any of this at home (well he's an only child, so I understand he doesn't have other kids at home), but I have seen him push and hit his mom at pick-up time (she did sit him down and talk to him about it, but it didn't help)...so I know his behaviour must be similar at home, but plays out differently because of no siblings. I am going to try giving him his own area to play in tomorrow and he can earn his way out to play with others. We'll see how it goes...

With that behaviour I would be relentlessly putting the child in the timeout chair and talking to him about what he is doing wrong over and over until he breaks his bad habits. He sounds like he needs anger management. I had a really violent child like that in care in my first year in business and I lasted a couple of months, then terminated. But the parents were not helping, they thought she was perfect. If the parents are discliplining nonstop at home the way you do it at daycare it will work. If the parents don't help then terminate for sure. It won't work.