Need Opinions on How Daycare is handling child violence.

[cfred]

As mentioned earlier, it can be more difficult to monitor such things in a truly effective way in a larger daycare setting. Here, I would absolutely provide a swift consequence to the aggressor (reprimand, time out) and quickly turn my attention to the victim. After the time out, I would have a quiet discussion with the aggressor about feelings, actions, etc. I've found it more beneficial to approach these situations in a gentle manner, letting the aggressor know that I want to know their feelings, understand them and will work with them on a better solution. I would absolutely not separate the kids. Quite the opposite actually. If they gravitate toward each other, clearly there's a bond there. They need guidance with regards to getting along and being sensitive to each other. It could very well be that both children have very justified feelings in this situation and both need to be addressed to facilitate happier interactions. They need to be provided the 'tools' to get along. I'd likely try to set up an activity including the 3 of us which addresses sharing, feelings, etc. In a large centre, this should be easy enough to accomplish due to having more staff. This was something I implemented regularly when I was head teacher of a Junior Preschool class.

This is a great teaching opportunity! Here in my home daycare, when something like this arises and becomes something of regular concern, I incorporate a 'feelings and sharing' theme to my regular day for a week or so. We will read books about feelings and add actions to express those feelings. When angry comes up, I teach the children to make an angry face, growl and maybe stomp their feet. I tell them that sometimes, we feel soooo angry we might feel like we want to hurt someone, but that it's never ok to do that, because that will make our friends sad. I teach them other things to do to release the anger, so their friend knows they're upset but no one gets hurt. They need a release.....I'll take a scrunched up face and growling over hitting any day Then we move into sharing exercises. A favourite (we did this just yesterday again), I will have a treat handy (just one or 2). Yesterday it was red currant muffins. I gather everyone into a circle and talk about sharing. "I made these delicious muffins and I want to share one with all my friends!" I break a bite off and give one to each child. Of course they're all smiling, so we talk about our happy feeling and our smiles. I talk about how happy it makes me to share with my friends and ask if they would like to try sharing - it feels great! Once that's going well, I hand the children a piece (one at a time) and tell them to 'share' with one of the other kids....and cheer them on afterwards. Of course, it seems to be forgotten during the next scuffle, but I do see them implementing things I've taught them. It may not be every time, but I do see it so I know they're retaining some of the lessons.