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  1. #1

    Separation Anxiety

    I have a family of three 5, 2.5 and 10 months) that have just started and are in the trial period. They come three days a week but the 5 year old is in school two of those days so it's only the other two. Mom doesn't go back to work until the end of Feb so we have been just getting them accustomed to my house. The 5 year old is fine and the 2.5 year old is fine when the 5 year old it here, in fact they don't want to go home, but the 2.5 year old wouldn't stop crying when he is without the 5 year old. The 10 month old screams at the top of his lungs when here no matter if his brothers are here or not. I think the 2.5 year old will get better after a couple of times (i hope) but I have taken the 10 month old for an hour, four days a week for almost two weeks now and still no change, he just screams the entire hour. I thought to take him longer to see if he stops eventually but I can only take so much plus I have two 12 month old as well and he eventually starts to upset them. They can't nap through his screaming and I tried feeding them all but they don't eat well with him screaming. When I got the one 12 month old she blending well right away with my son and I have a good schedule going but then getting these three, it's stressful right now. I don't know what else to do for this 10 month old, he won't stop screaming to eat and he screams while playing with toys, he screams when holding him. I had mom stay with him for the first 10 minutes and he cried a little but was ok until she left. He was great when they were here twice during the interview and I had no idea until the first day he was here and mom had to eventually come get him. I can't even hear myself think for that hour. I would hate to lose three spots. Is there maybe something else I can try before the trial period ends? Thanks for any help

  2. #2
    Euphoric !
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    I think you need to take him longer at a time because an hour here and an hour there isn't going to work ...... You should persevere and take him for whole days .... A full time child transitions faster then a part time child .... My newest one started at the end of nov (10 months) and he cried for the first two weeks pretty much the whole time .... If I took my attention away from him for any reason he lost his noodle....then one day it was like a switch was turned on and he stopped. Now he crawls all around the room playing and exploring with out a second look at me .... He's a week away from his first birthday and he's come so far....

    So I think you should buy some ear plugs and dive in

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to Crayola kiddies For This Useful Post:


  4. #3
    Outgoing
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    Agree with Crayola you need to take the youngest for longer periods of time. Im transitioning an 11 month old dcg right now. We started with 8-11, then 8-1, then 8-3 and this week she is coming for full days 8-5. He needs to learn he is safe with you and cant do that if mom is coming back after an hour. He especially needs to get used to eating and napping at your house.

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  6. #4
    Euphoric ! kidlove's Avatar
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    I would be a little worried if I were you... but the others are right, you need to take this little guy for longer days and see how things go! But if they dont seem to get any better, be open and honest with this Mother and let her know if you can't do it as opposed to pushing it too long and stressing yourself and everyone else to the max. Crying can be a huge stress on you and everyone else, not to mention the child doing the crying. It can ruin a day for everyone, just make sure you know your limits and stick with them. !

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  8. #5
    Euphoric !
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    It sometimes works out best to only transition them one at a time if you can. Take the youngest for half a day and let mom have some special time with the older sibling. That way you can leave the baby to cry when necessary without it upsetting the sibling. Then when things start to get better adding in the older child becomes much easier. Good thing when coming back from mat leaves.

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  10. #6
    Thank you everyone, I am just finding it hard to help him transition while also having two 12 month olds that need me. I'm going to take him on Friday for the whole day because my husband will be home to help and see if he calms down.

  11. #7
    Shy
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    I have to tell you that I am in the same situation I have a new baby and all he does is SCREAM for 6 hours straight its been 3 weeks and he is getting better and has his days. Im telling you this will get better keep your head up and give it time. I have learned that everything just takes some time and different ideas to distract them. Every baby is different.

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