Disruptive at nap time

[bright sparks]

So I need some advice dealing with a disruptive sleeper.

I have looked after this boy from age 11 months full time and a few days a week for a couple of months prior to this. I have also cared for him many times on weekends and over nights. I am very familiar with him and his older sister, also in my care age 3 yrs, and have been dealing with the family for over 2 years. This boy is now coming up to 19 months in the next week or so.

He has never been a good sleeper but I know a lot of it started because his mum didnt want to leave him crying for fear of him disturbing the older child at nap time and at night. Until about 12 months he would only nap 20-30 minutes maximum 2/3 times per day for me and his mother. When he was here, I got him through this into a nice routine of napping once a day 12-2:30.

There are times when he reverts back but now he is older he is extremely disruptive when he wakes up. For the last 2 1/2 weeks now it is at a point where I'd like to pull my hair out as I am a bit narked off that it is still going on at this age now. So currently he is going down at 12 and he is tired. He falls asleep usually within a few minutes but it only lasts for 30. Sometimes he will spend the rest of nap time intermitantly crying at the top of his lungs like an infant and doesnt give up for the best part of 2 hours or other days, like today, he is banging and kicking and jumping his playpen across the room. I am downstaires and it sounds like he is rearranging the room. I typically give no attention but I have to check on him incase he has climbed out, which he isn't showing signs of doing but you never know, or sometimes just to lie him down again to try and quiet him down as he wakes the rest of the group up.

I have to go up and check on him in these cases to check he is safe but generally I give him NO attention whatsoever. IME after literally a day or two of a child at this age getting no attention after screaming on and off for an hour or so, they really get the message and I start to notice a slow decline in duration and they ultimatly get over it and sleep peacefully without any disruption. This just doesnt seem to be the case for this child and now its effecting the other kids.

I have tried putting something next to the legs of the playpen so he can't move it by pushing and jumping but once he realizes he isnt getting anywhere he then moves on to destroying the inside of the playpen. Taking the bottom sheet off, pulling the base up, even to the point that he threw it out one time. I have him seperate from the rest of the group but even so, now they are waking up crying because its like a bloody zoo up there with him.

His temperment is generally great. He is a busy kid and burns off a lot of energy in the mornings. He is definitly at the terrible 2 stage and there has in the last week been 2 incidents of biting which I am shadowing him for and he smacks in the face. His mum has said she doesnt know how to deal with it and I have told her that she has to toughen up. I have been brutally honest with her saying she has to use time outs, not allow him to hug her if he says sorry straight away, physically remove him from the situation and reinforce this negative response to bad behaviour with lots of praise when he does a good job at things. I am pretty sure that if he kicks off at home she breaks really easy and even though I have had this child for some time, I think thats why this sleeping issue is back and forth from good to bad and round and round we keep going.

Just looking for some ideas ladies as this kid is driving me crazy. My quiet time is not quiet AT ALL and its distracting me from getting anything else done.

[Skysue]

I have one who is his long lost twin, I had to have her lie down right beside me on the couch and I would instruct her to close her eyes, within a few minutes she was asleep. She is now 3 it takes a little longer so I have a tea, surf this sight. When she's asleep then I can go back to the kitchen to get snack ready etc... It does suck a bit as it takes some time away from you but if you want him to sleep it maybe the only solution.

[bright sparks]

He is totally driving me nuts as its been over 6 months and I've always been so good at battling through with problem sleepers. It's not that I am losing my patience its just that there is no progress being made and he isn't a baby so should really be over this hurdle by now. Can you believe I even considered becoming a night doula. I find a great sense of achievement working with kids to get them into a good solid routine for napping and sleeping and this child just makes me want to punch myself in the face lolol

[mom-in-alberta]

What is a night doula? Like a "sleep coach"?