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Oh, I hear you. And I feel your pain. Don't know if you read my post yesterday "Way to go moms" It was clearly for you! Check it out.
I went through this with my son...so tough. First off, I would not send him to another daycare. Others may disagree with me, but I imagine you're doing daycare to be able to raise your own kids..... Perhaps a pt preschool at 3 and 4....which is what I did and was SO grateful for the time he was there and what he learned and how he matured...
Does he have his own toys? He needs to have things that are HIS and only HIS and are separate in HIS room where he has access to. If you're not already doing this, it is vital. Daycare toys are not his possessions any more than anyone elses, but anything he's been given as gifts are to be kept in his room. And at 2 1/2 he should be able to go have time in his room alone...not as punishment, but if he doesn't want to share or play with the others, fine..."go play with your stuff in your space"
It is important, as you said to ignore negative behaviours, however if he's taking toys from others, you can't ignore that. Observe perhaps to see if the other child will stick up for themselves and let them tell him as you said, but if not you have to intervene so he doesn't think "cool I can take whatever I want"
Patience, consistency, patience, routine, patience, space, patience, special time with him, patience, giving him some responsibilities and OH....did I mention patience!
And in all honesty it is IMPOSSIBLE to make him equal to the other dcks and not bend rules and give him special privilleges! IMPOSSIBLE and UNREASONABLE. He's sharing his mom, his home, his possessions.....he deserves some perks as well! It will never be equal. You will always be torn in 2. You will need to be in 2 places at once, be 2 people at once.
And before you know it, he'll be in school! How long have to been at it? A year I imagine if he went to dc until 18mos and he's now 2 1/2. Good luck and cheers when you pour that well-deserved glass of wine tonight!
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