Oh gcj, totally bawled reading this!! Thank you so much, you have no idea! I have had such a heavy heart over this! I did just read your other post, after I had already written this, and bawled over that too!
I LOVE the idea about him having special toys he doesn't have to share, in his room. This is such an amazing idea! I did make our whole downstairs (where the kids room is as well) a "no toy" zone because our whole upstairs is the daycare...but I think I need to revisit this rule and allow him special toys of his own! Even quiet time away with those or the iPad would be good for both of us!
Oh I have only been at this a month lol. My son and my daughter are 18 months apart, so he was out of daycare by the time I had her....everything has been shared, all his toys became daycare toys (or were bought for him with the purpose of them going in the daycare) so I think that is really going to help, giving him some special toys back! Thank you thank you!