Thoughts on bad expereinces

[S Ann]

I have had a bad expereince with a parent of a aboslute wonderful child. I usually dont post these bad expereinces but I am concerned about someone like me taking on this child and having the same problems. The child has been thru many caregivers, which I just found out, not mentioned by parent. It breaks my heart that this cutie pie has to keep going thru these inconsistencies. This person needs care with an immediate start date so it doesnt allow alot of time to get to know each other and get the contract, expectancies etc. out of the way. Thoughts?

[S Ann]

I am used to spell check, and apparently this forum does not have this, so please ignore my spelling errors. oops lol

[gramma]

I'm not really sure what your asking. What was the bad experience you had?

[S Ann]

Sorry....first time doing this! My questions are do I lay it all out there for all to read? I am afraid that it might come back to bite me one day. But on the other hand I know I would of liked heads up. Or do I just have someone contact me privately if they feel they are dealing with the same person? Immediate care, child under two etc. I also know that this is one persons opinion, mine, and there are always two sides to the story. I'm sure there have been people out there that have read me wrong. Should I just bud out and carry on like I would usually do?

[Momof4]

You don't have to put the details on this site. Protect yourself by all means.

However, can you possibly ask the parent to provide you with the names and phone numbers of the past caregivers so you can give them a call and chat? Then you can get a good feeling if the old caregivers were not of good quality or you will find out if the parents took off without paying them or didn't respect them in some other way. I don't see how you could insult the family by asking for these references. You are providing references I'm sure for them after all.

[Inspired by Reggio]

Just to clarify ... it sounds to me from what you've shared so far that you have just terminated someone whose child was a doll but the parents for some reason required termination, you have than since found out that the child has been in several daycares before you and likely provider terminated as well and now you are wanting to give others in your area a 'heads up' so they can make an informed decision to take them or not based on past behavior?

I empathize with the desire to give others a heads up ~ however agree that posting negative things online about clients comes with risk if the person you are discussing 'sees it and recognizes themselves' and does not agree with your perspective of things as it could cause trouble and negative word of mouth advertizing for your business should they bad mouth in the community about you.

A compromise for posting anything openly would be to post your 'general location' for members because this is a Canada wide form and you could be from anywhere at at any time there are lots of clients seeking 'immediate' care so that would not be defining enough and you could get bombarded with hordes of messages asking you? That way members in your area who are getting inquiries for immediate care could send you a message and ask?

I also agree with the practice of asking all potential clients if the child has been in the care of someone other than the parents .... specially when the child is over a year ~ this is something they also do in many childcare centres on the intake form so it is not 'abnormal' thing to do and has many valid reasons for asking including to find out about stuff like this

That way if the answer is yes you as the provider can than probe further with how that experience went for the child, why the relationship ended and so forth to get their side ... and if they have been in 'daycare before' verses having been with grandma or what not would the clients be willing to provide provider contact info for collaborating with the past provider on what worked well for them helping the child adjust to the program and so forth.

IMO if the client is 'leary' of providing contact information than you can use that information to help form your judgement of is this going to be a GOOD match cause typically speaking someone whose relationship ended on a positive note is not going to be reluctant to share contact info that but someone who screwed over the provider is! If they actually DO give you the contact info make sure to inform they they need to call the previous provider and give permission for her to release information about the child otherwise she likely will 'refuse' not knowing who you are or how you got her information

[kidlove]

sounds like a risky situation and could end badly on your part. Don't post any negative info regarding this parent, unfortunately you may need to let the next provider find out on her own. Lets just hope the next provider is smart enough to catch on quick and ask questions. Any time I have a person come to me for care and say its immediate, a red flag goes up...I would be a fool not to ask why so quick do you need care. and any time I have a parent come to me for care of a child over infancy, I ALWAYS ask why they need care, i.e. going to work for the first time since child was born? newly moved? Grama took child until now? OR the big.....left another day care? WHY? and sometimes I will be willing to ask for the previous providers name and number, to do a little check! better to be safe than sorry later on.....the wolf sometimes wears the sheeps clothing! ha ha