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  1. #1
    Expansive... BlueRose's Avatar
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    Pushing and hitting

    I have a dcg 23 months, who likes to hit and push. I put her in timeout but that doesn't seem to help. I spoke with her dad, he just said that she hits and pushes her cousin all the time and that it is just her age. They don't do anything about it. In fact he seems to think its funny.

    All the kids in my care except my b&a school boy have hit and pushed here and there. it happens, but this girl does it 2 or 4 times a day.

    I was just wondering if there is something I could do other then timeouts to help her learn that this is not ok?
    She can speak but hardly does, is she too young to be saying sorry or should i have her sit in timeout until she does?

  2. #2
    Euphoric ! mimi's Avatar
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    I think it is more about knowing the meaning of sorry. If one of my kids is unkind to another, I point out (age appropriate) to the offender that daycare friend is sad, crying etc. because you hit, took toy away etc. and then I ask (not force) offender to give a hug to help dcfriend feel better. If the empathy attempt doesn't work, I do continue the empathy lesson with a time out.
    If your dcg continues, I would remove her from the situation and tell her when she does not hit she can join the others,

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  4. #3
    Euphoric !
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    I have a little girl who is 25 months old, so pretty close in age who gets really frustrated with a couple of the boys who invade her space and walk right through her dolls and tea parties, etc. She pushes them out of frustration but I'm teaching her that it's unacceptable. First she helps the little boy up, hugs him and says sorry. Then she sits in the timeout chair and we have a little talk. It's working and she's learning to understand that I will never stop so she had better stop!

    By the way, I only keep children that age in timeout for a minute or possibly less while we have our talk but I do it consistently.
    Frederick Douglass
    It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.

  5. #4
    Expansive... BlueRose's Avatar
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    my dcg will just walks up to a child and either hit or push them. The other kids do nothing to her or are even close to her. I would understand if the other kids invaded her space or something, but they aren't.

  6. #5
    Euphoric !
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    I was going to say "WHY is she pushing/ hitting", but you just answered that one. No apparent reason!
    I have had a little dude like this. He would literally walk (beeline!!) across a room, just to hit a child who had done nothing at all to him.
    I was on him like you-know-who-on-a-smartie. When playing, he was reminded what was expected. "We play nicely, and use gentle hands. Be kind to our friends."
    Shadowing helped me stop him in the act a few times, but should he do it without me right beside him, it was an immediate time-out.
    I think your biggest problem here is the fact that Dad thinks it's funny.
    Parents need to be on board to curb the behaviour. Next time you talk to him (there WILL be a next time), and he brushes it off, you can remind him that just because a behaviour is "normal", does not make it OK. Yes, almost two year olds can be somewhat aggressive. But how on earth are they going to learn to change??? I think you need to make sure that Mom and Dad are willing to work on this WITH you.

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