Visiting Smoking Relatives.

[Inspired by Reggio]

....Am I being selfish?

Not from my perspective ... your health trumps their 'right to smoke'!

I am the worst kinda 'non smoker' I am an 'ex smoker' .... and I personally cannot stand being around smoke ~ second or THIRD hand smoke for that matter gives me migraines and makes my stomach upset ... just walking through it at the bloody entrances to malls is enough to give me a headache!

My poor stepson lives with two smokers at his other house and for the past 8 years has had to come through the door at our house, strip down naked and get right into the shower and scrub his hair and body with exfoliating cloth and put on clean clothes from here because just the smell of the smoke 'on him' is bothersome to me and his clothes get laundered immediately by themselves and put in a 'bag' until it is time to go home and than he changes into them and leaves his clothes from 'us' here so they do not become stinky with it too ... we even had to get him a second winter coat and everything because everything STINKS of it and it was transferring to our coats just being 'beside' each other in the closet!

I personally do not go to places where smoking is permitted 'inside' either ... when family members who smoke come to my house they are instructed there will be no smoking in the house or on the property because my home is a 'place of business' and is subject to 'no smoking bi~laws' I can blame the local government because I even had to put up no smoking signs on my entrances and in the bathrooms to be up to 'code'

[Sandbox Sally]

I personally do not go to places where smoking is permitted 'inside' either ...

I am a smoker. Nobody has ever smoked in our house. Who even still smokes in their house? GROSS.

For the record, before anyone gets all judgeypants, I don't smoke at all during daycare hours, and never in the home.

[Momof4]

I am a smoker. Nobody has ever smoked in our house. Who even still smokes in their house? GROSS.

For the record, before anyone gets all judgeypants, I don't smoke at all during daycare hours, and never in the home.

You sound like one of my daughters who smokes and she has a son but she goes out on her balcony in all kinds of weather and would never smoke in the house or in the car with her son. When you go into her house you would never know a smoker lived there. But I have walked into houses before and it's in all the furniture and just wafting off of everything. I can't even stay in a house like that and I bet that's what Busydaycarelady's Dad house smells like.

I like Mom-in-alberta's advice:

I would just say, to your dad (because it's actually none of your siblings business), "I love you, and want to be around you, but being at your home makes me physically suffer." Can he come cook at your house? Maybe you can host, and dad can do all the cooking?
Even if you went, and nobody smoked the whole time you were there, you would probably still get a migraine, no? At this point, it is imbedded into the drywall and furnishings, if he has been smoking for a while.

(Sorry, I don't know how to do a double quote)

[mom-in-alberta]

I am a smoker. Nobody has ever smoked in our house. Who even still smokes in their house? GROSS.

For the record, before anyone gets all judgeypants, I don't smoke at all during daycare hours, and never in the home.

My judgeypants are in the wash, so you're off the hook today, Alpha.... (jokes!!)